Chapter 15 Chapter Fifteen

• He remembered how after Alice's fourth birthday, he had approached Elaine with a suggestion to have a second baby and she had been so appalled by the idea, vehemently kicking against it and even saying "What do we need another baby for, Colin? We're fine the way we are. I don't want more children!" And though he really wanted another child, he had dropped the idea, for her sake. Now suddenly, she was pregnant. It didn't make any sense to him. The suddenness of it all. The infrequency of their intimacy. How very detached they had been some months back after a disagreement, so detached that they could go weeks without making love. And now, doctor Peterson had said she was almost two months gone. He couldn't believe it.
• Even though he knew it made him look desperate and foolish, Colin hoped silently, fervently, that the baby was his. If it was, it meant there was still something to hold onto in their marriage. It meant he still had a chance to save their marriage, even though he knew he holding on was a dumb thing to do, he just couldn't help it. His love for Elaine was so intense that he the mere thought of losing her broke his heart completely. He couldn't bear to lose her. He just couldn't.
• Despite the fear and uncertainty gnawing at his heart, he was determined to face the truth, no matter how painful it may be. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold on forever, and even though he knew it would shatter his world, he would someday have to live without Elaine. But for now, he wasn't ready to let go. He wanted to fight for whatever was left of their marriage. And after he had tried his best, whatever followed, he would embrace it all in good faith.