Chapter 11 Chapter Eleven

• Colin drove aimlessly through the city streets, too many wild thoughts running through his head. He thought of cheating back, with Angela who clearly had a thing for him. Or with the anonymous bouquet lady, who seemed infatuated with him. At least, Colin thought angrily, they wouldn't cheat on me. They would love me with everything they have. They would adore me. They would worship the floor on which I walked. They wouldn't tell me I wasn't enough. He gritted his teeth as the thoughts occured to him, dismissing them as soon as they had come. He silently chided himself for even considering something so lowly, so shallow, so dishonourable, so unlike Colin Anderson. Acting out of self pity. A fresh surge of anger came, directed at Elaine, for making him stoop so low as to consider doing something so unreasonable just to get even, just to prove a point. "Damn you Elaine! Damn you!" He cursed in frustration as he banged his balled fists on the steering wheel, tears springing into his eyes that he furiously blinked away. I will not cry! He thought furiously. I will not cry over a woman who doesn't love me.
• Then he settled for the most common option of escaping reality; getting drunk. Why hadn't this occurred to him since! Colin stopped at the next bar he saw and walked in, his shoulders drooping, his steps slow and unsteady.
• Colin was not a heavy drinker by nature. In fact, he rarely indulged in alcohol, preferring to maintain a clear mind and sharp focus in both his personal and professional life. The last time he allowed himself to succumb to the numbing embrace of alcohol was after the death of his father three years after his marriage, a loss that had left him reeling with grief and longing for an escape from the harsh realities of life. He and his father had been so close, that Colin had thought his world would come to an end after his death. But he had coped, and he had moved on, and now, he had to cope with yet another disastrous experience. He couldn't think of a better way to handle it, than the way he had handled his father's demise; to drink his sorrows away, and to live in denial that anything happened. If you ignore the situation long enough, the pain will vanish, he thought as he popped the first bottle.