Chapter 7

• ~Zeus~
• Today has been a nightmare. I woke up early to get in some time at the gym, but Pearl’s been crying all morning and I had to cut it short. She had a bellyache again and made a rain cloud that flooded my bedroom while the girl who stayed over was in bed asleep.
• It was funny how my little darling zapped the woman with tiny lightning bolts, making the chick run out of the room, grabbing her ass, and screaming for help. I think Pearl didn’t like her much and was pissed because the chick was screaming my name all night while I was banging her from behind. She woke up the baby and Pearl’s been crying ever since. It's clear now that my little darling has a bit of her uncle Posey’s temper.
• After hiring a cleaning crew to clean up the soggy mess left behind, I finally made it to work. The nanny has yet to arrive, and I have gotten no work done all morning. It probably wasn’t a good idea to bring Pearl with me, because they grounded all our planes from the storm that rolled off Lake Michigan an hour ago. She’s been throwing a tantrum, and I’m already seeing condensation in the room forming. If she floods my office, I don’t know what I’ll do.
• I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I’m starting to think maybe I’m not cut out for being a single dad.
• When Trevor stopped in to check on me this morning, he seriously took one glance and walked backward out of the room like the coward he is. I guess I am on my own here because the stiff shirt know-it-all isn’t any help. At least Thor and Posey have been trying to help as much as they can. I know I say I hate Thor, but he’s not such a bad guy, I guess. He is sincerely trying to be a good friend.
• Looking down into Pearl’s sweet, tear-filled eyes, I see her mother looking back at me. I’m going to find out who killed Sophia, and when I do, they’re going to feel my wrath. She was a kind soul and knowing anyone wanted to hurt her breaks my heart. I still don’t understand these human emotions, but I know I feel loss. Seeing this precious child’s sad eyes, I think I understand why she’s been crying so much. She misses her mommy.
• “I know, Pearl. I miss her, too. Daddy’s here and he’s going to make it all better. Don’t you worry.”
• That was utter bullshit, but at least she’s smiling at me again. Damn, this dad stuff is going to be hard. As my little munchkin drifts off to sleep, I feel my eyes starting to get heavy, too. Maybe just a few minutes of sleep…
• ***
• Thump! Thump! Thump!
• “Waaahhh! Waaa! Waahhhhh!”
• I’m awoken by knocking at the door and a screaming baby. So much for that nap.
• “Come in!” I yell as I try that bouncing and cradling thing Thor showed me.
• Yeah, it’s not working. She’s screaming louder than she was earlier today.
• Walking in the door, Thor struts in like he owns the place. Stopping in his tracks, he covers his ears. “Why is she screaming like that?” he yells, over the now shrieking cries.
• I seriously think this child is half banshee because she sure can scream.
• “How the hell should I know? I’ve tried everything. Here, you take her,” I say, trying to pass her off.
• “Hell no!” He gags, saying, “She smells like shit.”
• “Shit? I just put a new diaper on her. Make her stop pooping.”
• “You can’t stop popping. It’s just how human bodies work.”
• “Well, it’s another pointless human trait that they should fix. It’s gross.”
• As soon as I said those words, a woman burst into my office that I’d never seen before, taking my baby out of my arms.
• “What the fuck? Who the hell are you?”
• I look over at Thor, and this asshole is now smiling from ear to ear. He crosses his arms over his chest with the biggest smug expression I’ve ever seen. He’s up to something, and by the look on his face, he knows this woman.
• When our eyes meet, I freeze. There is this… goddess… standing before me. A plus-size goddess. No… no. I’m not into fat chicks. This is not real. Damn, those witches. They cursed me again.
• But I can’t help checking her out. Those curves and… damn. Look at those thighs. I’d love to have them wrapped around my head. I’d drown myself in her pussy until I couldn’t breathe and was begging to come up for air, loving every hot moment of it.
• Rubbing my hand over my face, I’m trying to shake off this spell. This must be part of the curse. I’m losing my mind and those damn hags are probably laughing their asses off about now.
• Scowling at me, the woman adjusts her blouse as she takes Pearl into her arms. “If you don’t mind, please stop staring at my cleavage and get me her diaper bag.”
• “Who the fuck are you and why are you in my office?”
• Stepping to me, she can’t be much more than five feet tall and has the cutest little angry face I’ve ever seen. It makes me let out a chuckle at the way she looks like one of those little angry wolverines ready to bite. What’s up with this chick? Sure, those sexy blue eyes are making my dick come alive, but what is this bitch thinking that she can come at me like this?
• “Mr. Thunder, I’m Blue Valentine. I’m your new nanny. Now, give me that bag so I can change this child. And stop cursing. There is a child and a lady in the room. Have some dignity.”
• “Excuse me. You’re in my office and—”
• “And what?” she snaps. “Do you think I don’t see what’s going on here? You’re just some damn playboy acting like a man-child and it’s time you grow up. I’ve seen your social media accounts, and I did my research on you. You’re a grown man acting as if you’re some silver fox that everyone should worship.”
• “I’m a god. Of course, they worship me.”
• “You were a god, Mr. Thunder. Past tense. Now you’re just a rich guy with a few little magic tricks to impress the bimbos you’re always gloating about online.”
• “Magic tricks? Who do you think you’re talking to? I‘ll have you know—”
• Holding her hand up in my face, she smugly raises a brow at me like I’m a child being scolded. “Quiet. If it were not for the wellbeing of this precious little girl, I wouldn’t even be here.”
• “Then leave.” I chuckle. “Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”
• She just glares at me while holding out her hand, palm up, to get me to hand over the diaper bag. Seeing little Pearl gripping the woman’s blouse, I sigh, knowing I need this woman to help me out. Despite how much she’s pissing me off, I need her. No one else was qualified and Thor seems to think she’s what we need.
• “Fine,” I say, handing her the bag.
• Quickly, she goes to work, taking baby Pearl to the couch in my office, and setting it up to change the baby’s diaper. When she opens the toxic waste dump that is this kid's ass, the smell wafts over the room like chemical warfare. Thor and I are both gagging now, trying to avoid the stench.
• “What did you feed her?” Thor asked.
• “Taco Tuesday. She liked the guacamole. It mixed up well in the blender.”
• Looking over her shoulder at me, the evil nanny looked like she could kill me. I actually think she may be plotting my death right now, so I need to keep an eye on her.
• “You did what?”
• “Tacos. They didn’t work in the blender so well, but the avocados seemed to do the trick. Oh, and she had chocolate milk for breakfast. Thor said she likes those.”
• “What? I did not. I told you not to give her that crap.”
• “No. You said milk was okay.”
• “That’s not what… Good god, you’re an idiot,” he says, shaking his head.
• “I am a good god. Thank you.”
• Rolling his eyes, he just shakes his head at me again with pursed lips. “How the hell did the Greeks think you were a god? You’re a moron.”
• The woman almost growls, saying. “You’re both a couple of morons. Who put this on her?”
• Holding up the diaper, she looks at us like we are a couple of morons. I may not be a baby food chef, but I put that thing on right. “Well, I did. But Thor did the one from yesterday.”
• “And you idiots didn’t think to take the old one off? You just layered them over each other. There are four of them here.”
• Thor scrunched up his nose, asking, “You have to take them off? I thought you just added a new one when one got filled up.”
• “Me, too.”
• “Did you not at least research how to care for a baby online?”
• “There are instructions for taking care of a baby?” I said as I rushed to grab my phone and Google, taking care of babies. “Huh… Well… there is it. I guess there are instructions.”
• After she changes the kid’s bottom, the room starts to smell a lot better, and Pearl doesn’t smell like a giant turd. Who knew it was that easy?
• When she pulls Pearl into her arms, my baby girl settles down and snuggles into the woman’s arms. Whew… that was a close one. I thought for sure she was going to flood my office. As soon as she starts humming a soft tune, Pearl is sound asleep, and the storm outside dissipates. I need to learn how to do that.
• “Ms. Blue.”
• “Yes.”
• “You’re hired.”
• Smiling up at me, she nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you everything you need to know. Now, I’m taking the little one home for a good bath. Have your driver pull the car around. I’ll move my things in tonight.”
• “You’re moving in?” I asked, not realizing that was part of the deal.
• “Yes. I’m a live-in nanny. I thought you knew that.”
• Looking over at Thor, he’s trying to avoid eye contact. With a huff, I shake my head in annoyance. Just when this asshole gets on my good side, he does something to piss me off.
• “Fine. Whatever. Just help me.”
• “Good,” she says, holding out her hand. “Give me your debit card.”
• “Hell no! What? No way! I told you I’d hire you, not give you my bank account.”
• “No, idiot. I need to get things for the baby. If you’re feeding her tacos, I’m sure you don’t have baby food in the house.”
• “Wait... Are you saying there’s food just for babies?”
• “I told you,” Thor muttered.
• “Yes, Mr. Thunder, there is. Now, hand it over. She’s going to need a lot of supplies. I’ll return it to you when you arrive home.”
• I look at Thor and give a devilish smile. I’m putting this asshole to work. “He’s going shopping with you.”
• “What? Why me?”
• “Because I have work to do, and she’ll need help with her packages. So, get going. Pearl needs help from Uncle Thor.”
• “You’re a jackass,” he grumbled.
• “And you already know this. See you later, Uncle Thor. Take care of the ladies for me today.”
• Stomping out of the office, he waves for Blue to follow.
• “I hate shopping,” he says, mumbling under his breath.
• I knew I’d get him back for always bugging me. Nothing worse than having to go shopping with a woman and Thor hates to shop.