Chapter 8

• Oh, I was so wrong, so very very wrong.
• Even though I had filled up my week with meetings to address quarterly reports and the status of my investments in other companies, I still couldn't get my mind off her.
• I didn't even spend any time around her besides a random exchange of greetings here and there out of politeness, but it still felt like she was in every corner of my life.
• Every time she walked passed by my office, I couldn't help looking up from my desk.
• Every time I turned a corner, I couldn't help feeling like I had caught a glimpse of her light curls, only to find there was no such person.
• Every time I ended up near any sort of sweets, I couldn't help thinking about whether or not she would like it.
• And, worst of all, she continued bringing me dinner to my office every evening at 7 PM on the dot.
• Even though I barely interacted with her anymore, she would always come knocking on my door in an adorable little outfit, whether it be a simple black skirt or a dark-colored a-line dress falling just below her knees. She would always ask about my day with a sweet little smile as she set the usual black Tupperware of food and cup of coffee down on my desk.
• It probably wouldn't seem like much to anyone else, but I cherished this meaningless tiny exchange of words every day. The words were nothing of value, but my mood would always be instantly lifted by the sound of her soft voice, even if it was something as little as a single word.
• It was both the highlight and downfall of my day.
• This little, supposedly harmless chat would always bring my useless feelings back to full force despite all my efforts to forget them during the day. These very few minutes of the day would put me in such a good mood that I'd forget why I wanted to stay away from her.
• But then, she would always need to leave right after dropping off the food, reminding me of her husband, who was patiently waiting for his beautiful and caring wife at home. I would immediately remember that my feelings were those of a sinner, one who pined for a woman who was happily married.
• I'd feel so disgusted with myself that I wouldn't be able to eat the food she gave me. It would seem so bland to my taste buds— even though I knew it wasn't that— that I would always end up pushing it aside and return to my stack of paperwork, desperately trying to distract myself from my invading thoughts.
• I knew that I should've just told her to stop, but for some reason, I was never able to bring myself up to it.
• The only thing left to bring me any solace was the warmth of the hot coffee cup, the one that was always a bit too sweet for me but nonetheless brought a nice feeling of warmth to the tightness in my chest.
• However, today was a bit different from usual.
• It was finally Friday, the dreaded blind date with Mellisa's daughter set up by my mother.
• I stared at my calendar with a heavy heart. There was a 7:30 PM reservation at Le Bernardin in midtown, scheduled by Lukas as per my mother's hounding.
• I really wasn't in the mood to entertain some random girl, especially not after such an exhausting week from having my mind constantly drifting off to a certain someone. But, I knew that my mother would only make a much bigger fuss if I dipped out at her last minute.
• I sighed as I slowly shut down all my electronics and gathered up all the papers I needed to bring home for the weekend. As I stuffed my laptop and files into my bag, there was a light knock on my door. I mindlessly replied, "Come in."
• I looked up from my bag when I heard the door open up and a set of familiar soft footsteps. I silently cursed when I found Ms. Belcalis standing in the doorway with the usual paper bag and coffee cup.
• "Y-you're going h-home early t-today?"
• Diverting my eyes as I placed my bag over my shoulder, I replied, "I have some... evening plans tonight." I sighed as I turned around to face her. "I'm sorry for making you go through the trouble of getting me dinner."
• She immediately hid the bag behind her. "I-it's not trouble, r-really. J-just means I have some extra food for m-myself tonight."
• I bit the inside of my cheek as I watched her uncomfortably shuffle in her spot. I never meant to make her feel bad. Maybe I should cancel the—
• "I s-should go now." She started backing out of the doorway. "I'll see y-you next week, a-and I hope you have a w-wonderful evening, M-Mr. Cordova."
• Before I could reply, she had already darted out of my office. It made my stomach churn from guilt as I stared at the now empty doorway.
• I quickly shook my head, trying to get it out of my head. I can't be feeling like this when I'm supposed to be going on a date with another woman.
• I ruffled through the items in my hands and my bag in an attempt to double-check everything— even though my mind was elsewhere and didn't actually comprehend anything I saw— as I walked out of my office. I glanced across my floor anxiously as I made my way down my building to my car.
• I released a breath of relief when I plopped down into my car without accidentally running into Ms. Belcalis on the way down. I reflexively ran my finger through my hair out of stress as I started my car.
• As I made my way down to midtown, I received a message from Benedict saying, "Invite me to the wedding if you fall in love with your date. And if you don't, at least have some fun ;) so I can at least congratulate you with a drink."
• I grimaced at his crude message. If I could do either of those, then at least I wouldn't have such a headache over some violet-eyed beauty instead.
• I stuffed my phone back into my pocket as I stepped out of my car, tossing the keys to the valet. With a false air of confidence, I strode into the restaurant and glanced around the lobby in search of any woman who looked like she was waiting for a date.
• Luckily I didn't have to look far when I felt a light tap on my shoulder, making me turn around and come face to face with a dark-haired female.
• "Um, I'm Mellisa's daughter, Cassy. I hope I'm not being too forward, but it's nice to meet you, Mr. Cordova." She had a faint smile on her lip as she held her hand out to me.
• I politely shook her hand. "It's quite alright. I apologize for not recognizing you at first glance, but my mother never showed me any pictures, saying that I would know it when I saw you."
• She gave a light chuckle. "Don't worry about it. I already knew what you looked like... I often see your face in the front of magazines and billboards, but I hope you are too disappointed with how I look. I didn't have much time to change after work."
• She was dressed in a wine-colored v-necked dress cinched at the waist with some dark heels that brought her up to my chin. It was a simple look, much like Ms. Belcalis's outfits at work.
• "It's quite alright. I, myself, had just arrived straight from work, so technically, I should be the one to ask for your pardon."
• She flushed slightly at my words as her eyes did a quick sweep along my body. "I think you look perfectly fine. If anything, you seem to be able to draw everyone's eyes without trying."
• I chuckled when I realized that the other patrons were staring at us as we conversed in front of the usher's desk. "Why don't we take a seat? I'm sure you're hungry after a long day at work."
• She nodded meekly and graciously took my arm. She stayed silent as I gave them my name for my reservation and guided her to our seats in one of the private rooms.
• I politely pulled out her chair for her as we settled into our seats for the night.
• Cassy was a nice girl. The evening passed by without any trouble, just something some light chit-chat as we ate, and I didn't seem to mind conversing with her at all.
• She wasn't like any of the attention whores or money-greedy chicks I had met in the past.
• She was quite knowledgeable about managing finances in large companies and even gave me tips for my company. Although I had already heard these suggestions from my accounting department before, I was surprised that she had managed to come up with solutions similar to the ones offered by some of my best accountants, ones that were the créme de la créme of their graduating classes in university.
• She kept a soft but strong voice when speaking about herself or voicing her opinions. Though we had come to some minor differences on certain topics, she never berated me to conform to her thought process, which I liked about her.
• Yet, I couldn't stop myself from constantly comparing her with a certain violet-eyed lady in my life.
• Cassy would tell me about how she preferred flowy dresses over body-con dresses, saying that they felt too revealing and uncomfortable, and my mind would wander away to how adorable Ms. Belcalis looked in her a-line dress a few days ago.
• Cassy would tell me about how she loved to read sci-fi novels in her free time on the weekend, explaining how wonderful it felt with a nice hot cup of tea, and I would think about how Ms. Belcalis always put 5 packets of sugar into her coffee.
• Cassy would tell me how she always preferred sweet things over salty things and even showed me the Japanese hard candies in her purse that she always kept around as a momentary relief for something sweet in her mouth. And yet, while I had one of those hard candies in my mouth, I couldn't help wondering if Ms. Belcalis would like them, especially the strawberry-flavored one that I had unconsciously chosen.
• I would stare at Cassy as she cheerfully spoke about her likes and dislikes and end up thinking of Ms. Belcalis.
• I would see her shoulder-length pin-straight hair and think of how I yearned to play with the ends of Ms. Belcalis's soft curls that fell down to her waist.
• I would watch how her thin fingers elegantly maneuver her utensil and wonder how it would feel to engulf Ms. Belcalis's dainty little hands in my own ginormous paws.
• I would see how her eyes lit up at the sight of a fancy dessert and think to myself, "Ms. Belcalis's eyes sparkle more than she sees strawberry shortcakes."
• And at the end of the night, when we were departing from each other, I would wonder to myself what it would be like if I got to spend an entire evening alone with Ms. Belcalis.
• And during all time, I must have not hidden my thoughts well enough myself, as my longing for a different woman easily shone through my eyes, making Cassy ask with a sad smile, "I'm not her, right?"
• Huh?
• Cassy abruptly stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at me face-to-face. She had a smile on her face, the type of smile that bit at my conscience. "I think Mr. Cordova is a very nice, smart, and wonderful man... You actually listen to my words, unlike other men who only listen for a break in my words to talk about themselves. But, I have a feeling that you were hoping I was someone else, that you were wishing for that other person to be sitting across the table from you instead of me. Am I right?"
• Was I that noticeable?