Chapter 7 Little Ben

• "Nervous?" I asked Ben with a smile.
• He looked out of his window before looking back at me, "I am." Ben nervously smiles back but with eagerness in his eyes.
• "You'll be doing great on your first day, baby. You always do."
• After I parked out of his school, I held his hand tight as we walked together to the building. I can tell he was nervous but he was trying his best not to freak out. I walked him to his classroom and to be honest, I feel like I was much more nervous than Ben when we reached his school. I know how it goes in schools and there are always going to be bullies which is one of the reasons why I am scared. Ben’s a very nice kid and he’s so good that I am scared other kids will bully him because he doesn’t have a father.
• I squatted down before him as I pushed his curly hair off from his forehead. He smiles at me sweetly and kisses my cheek then hugs me. "Thank you for driving me to school for my first day mommy." He says too adorably that it’s warming my heart.
• I kissed his temple and pulled myself away from him as I smiled back trying to hide that I was nervous for hi,, "Not a problem sweetie."
• "Will you pick me up after school mom?"
• I nod. "Of course sweetheart. Enjoy your first day alright? I love you."
• He smiled happily, "I love you too mommy."
• "Follow what your teacher tells you, okay?"
• Ben nods.
• “Be a good boy!” I added.
• I stand and watch him as he walks towards his classroom being all the brave for his age and it was something very delightful to witness. He is growing and I am already proud of him even at that age of six. I tried to tell myself that there were other kids his age so he would probably meet new friends. He always blends in any group of people and always excels in his grades.
• Ben is shy at first but I'm sure he'll get along with his classmates the more he spends time with them. Ben is a very patient and cool-headed kid. I taught him about staying grounded and I always taught him to be nice even to those kids who are not nice to him. I marched my way back to my car and drove to the hospital.
• I’m not a registered nurse which is something that I am so proud of myself.
• When I was pregnant with Ben and studying in a medical school at the same time, it was the hardest thing I've ever been to. Juggling things all at once was something totally worth striving for. There were days when I had to control myself from throwing up in the middle of the class or when I am engrossed by the cadavers for our gross anatomy. It was hard. It was terribly and awfully hard for me.
• But I know I had to be strong for myself and for my baby. That's why I passed all through those trials in my life, all on my own.
• I didn't care anymore of what the people were saying about me and against me and who I was. All I cared about was to finish my studies and that was it. I had to face everyone with my chin up even though my baby had no father. It was a big issue when I was in college and everyone had bad things to say against me. I couldn't tell people who my baby daddy is. No one would believe me if I told them.
• Also, it would be too risky for me.
• If I were in their shoes, I'd do the same thing. I wouldn't believe me either if I say Hugo Saintclare from Satellite Patrol got me pregnant.
• Come on, it's Hugo. The name itself is already too precious and too highly respected. People will only think I was doing it for fame.
• There were people asking me a lot of things which I also asked myself before that I still hear in my head such as, did I ever regret conceiving this child? Nope. I love Ben.
• Did I hate the fact that I was pregnant by Hugo? Nope. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
• Did I get mad because I got pregnant at a young age? Hell no. Ben is one of the best blessings in my life.
• Did I hate Hugo for what happened and what he did to me? No. I couldn't because he doesn't know that he's a father to my child.
• I raised Ben all alone for seven years without any form of help from anyone to be a father for Ben. Selfish, I know. I think I can continue supporting him all by myself until I can have work and I can save my salary. I haven't been in a relationship either because I want my time only focused on Ben and my career. There are some men who don't really want women who have kids and I understand that.
• "Morning Miranda." Christian, also a nurse, greeted me as he walked towards me.
• "Morning Chris." I smiled.
• "Coffee?" He offers.
• "You know the drill.” I smiled and added, “Thanks."
• "You're lucky I bought two."
• "You always buy one for me and you never forget it." I joked.
• He smiled as we walked together to our station, "How's Ben?" He asks excitedly.
• "It's his first day being a first grader today. He was so excited and nervous from the look in his eyes. Well, I was nervous for him. More nervous actually." I chuckled.
• He joined me. "I'm glad to know that he was excited. Most kids would be afraid. I'm sure he'll be okay. He's gotten bigger now."
• "Yes, most definitely. It takes a lot of getting used to."
• He smiled. "Are you going to pick him up after his class?"
• "Of course. I made a promise to him and he is always looking forward to it. You know how he reacts when I say my promises."
• "You're such a hardworking mom."
• I smiled at myself. "Thank you. But I try to be. I only want what's best for Ben. You know I don't have someone to help me."
• He smiled back, "Oh come on, you have me."
• I look at him and sometimes I think Christian likes me because he's giving me hints. It was not so hard to see and the other nurses here are aware about it too. They tease him that he is only staying single because he's waiting for a chance from me.
• He flashes me a smile, "And your girlfriends too." He adds.
• "Thanks.” I answered softly. “We need to hurry up now. I heard there's a patient in the O.R by eight."
• It's always busy here and that's what I love about my job because as long as I'm busy, I can't think about the time. I don't notice the hours that pass by and I like it a lot. The hospital has always been busy for the past weeks and I don’t want to complain unlike the other nurses around here.
• Everyday, I pray that I do not come across Hugo or anyone close to him.