Chapter 4 Jack: Avoiding Her

• It was a log house, long and cosy looking, standing in the middle of a clearing. I clapped my hands to my mouth in joy as I stared at the lake. It was shimmering, looking so inviting, as the sunlight danced on the water, making it sparkle. A rush of cool air made my hair blow around my face and I laughed.
• I longed to leap into the water and splash around.
• When I was with my parents, the members of the commune who were like one huge family, would sometimes travel to the beach and spend a couple of nights there. The older members like my parents retired to their tents at night while we younger folk sang and danced and drank wine and generally enjoyed ourselves into the wee hours of the morning. Bonfires, dancing and making out under the stars as most of the younger people did, it had been a carefree period.
• I turned to Jack and impulsively threw my arms around him.
• “Thank you!’ I said dimpling up at him artlessly and then, as I realized what I was doing, I quickly stepped away. He stood stiffly and then, turned to lock the truck, but I had seen his face, dark with emotion...
• “He is so sweet, ‘I thought, smiling to myself.
• And so I began my housekeeping duties.
• The days were relaxed. I had very little to do.
• The cabin was not too large. It was a compact two-bedroom house with a tiny guest bedroom as well. Keeping it clean barely took up two hours. Jack spent most of his time in the study, working. He was an accountant and went up to the city on occasion. Secretly, I thought he was doing his best to avoid his ex-wife for he never stayed overnight.
• We fell into an easy routine. Jack gave me a room to myself, the guest bedroom that was small and sunny, facing the lake. Often, I lay looking out at the water when I was about to sleep, smiling as the moonlight shimmered on the waters. The light curtains let in the early morning light and I simply loved it.
• We were too far away from other people. Our closest neighbours, Jack once mentioned, were miles away. We were truly secluded. I loved the sense of privacy it brought to me.
• I had always been good at cooking and the tiny kitchen was just enough for me to experiment with my baking skills too. There was a largely unused oven in the kitchen; I figured out that Andrea had not been much of a cook.
• My skills at keeping house and my culinary prowess enthralled Jack. He was effusive in his praise. I beamed and continued to experiment with new recipes.
• He was a thorough gentleman, was Jack. He took care to give me my space but made sure that I settled down comfortably. It was Jack who also encouraged me to continue studying. He made me enrol for a course to upskill my knowledge. Soon I was studying and working, all at once.
• My parents were planning to come down to make sure I was alright but Ma came down with a virus and they decided to postpone it.
• In the evenings, when the sun was setting, we would sometimes sit on the porch, facing the darkening waters. With the porch lights turned off to prevent the insects from swarming around us, he would sit on the ancient rocking chair while I settled down on the wooden steps. Sometimes we would have our coffee there and talk into the night. I was able to open my heart and share my dreams with Jack. I told him about the commune, my life there and how I grew up surrounded by love. He smiled and watched me as I chattered away. Strangely, Jack was quite reticent about his life with Andrea. Not that I cared. I was young, I had dreams of doing great things…
• Once I told him about how I wanted to have a school of my own; told him of how I hoped to marry a man I loved and have six children. I remember, Jack choked on his coffee and almost fell off the chair, laughing. Incensed, I jumped up to punch his arm and he ran outside, whooping with laughter. When I finally caught him, we tumbled onto the grass, still laughing, breathless. I fell on top of him, my plump breasts pressing against his chest, my face inches away from his.
• Abruptly, we stopped laughing as we became aware of each other's bodies. Aware of how I was in his arms, wearing a shirt that had come open, revealing my heavy breasts and very aroused nipples that stood hard and erect. For a moment, he stared at me, his arousal digging into my stomach, urgently.
• All at once, he rolled over and stood up. I sat up, confused with my reactions, tugging my shirt into place.
• “Let's go inside.’ Without turning around, he said it in a gruff voice and began to walk away.
• I followed slowly and as I went to the kitchen to clear up, he came to the doorway
• “I'm sorry Melissa,’ he said and the tone made my eyes fill.
• “Why was he apologizing?’ I thought hurt.
• He came to stand behind me and sensing my distress, he turned me around carefully.
• At the sight of my tears, he exclaimed,
• “Dear God, what is it? What is it, child? Are you hurt?’
• I looked up into his eyes and said between sniffs,
• “I am not as pretty as her, that's it, isn't it?’
• My lower lip wobbled.
• He stared at me for a few moments, looking perplexed, his gaze on my mouth.
• Then he bent his head and kissed me, ever so gently, ever so sweetly.
• I opened my mouth to him and stepped forward, pressing my body to his,
• But Jack gently, tenderly moved me away.
• Tipping my chin, he stared into my brimming eyes and said after a long pause,
• ‘No, it’s not that. You are lovely. You are pure and innocent, something she never was.’
• I tried to get back into his arms but he pushed me away.
• “Then why?’ I cried, ‘Why are you pushing me away?’
• He stroked my cheek and said softly,
• “You are beautiful, you are magnificent. But I’m too old for you.’ He sighed and repeated,
• “I’m too old for you.’
• With that, he turned away and walked off, leaving me with a mess of emotions and a very real need to have him take me in his arms...