Chapter 2 Colleagues

• And I pause, extending my hand, and say, "Mary Ann, thank you very much, but the beauty of being a newcomer is discovering things on your own. Plus, I never come to a place without doing some research, so I think I can manage."
• The girl looked disappointed again, shrugged, and lowered her eyes, speaking sadly, "Okay, it would have been a great opportunity to make a friend, at least." She said these words almost whispering, then lifted her gaze, noticing that I had heard and understood her words. She gave a nervous smile and continued, "But that doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?"
• Inside, I wished I could roll my eyes. Friendship wasn't something I particularly enjoyed having; I was quite isolated. I don't know, ever since I was little, it's like when I look at someone, I feel like that person is judging me or hates me, so I simply prefer to be alone. But I wouldn't say that to this girl, at least not out loud, because when I looked into her eyes, I could see she was desperate. It was like a whisper, the plea in my ear: please, nobody here likes me.
• I bit my lip, trying to understand if that was something said by her lips or something from my mind, a fantasy that happens too often, something I actually hate. I don't like being a lunatic, but it seems to be increasing over time. I don't tell my parents about this; they are busy, and even if I did, they would think I was going crazy. It's not the first time I believe I'm reading someone's mind or interpreting what their eyes are saying. It's also not the first time I've had bizarrely scary dreams, where reality distorts. It's like I'm living through it, as I can smell the flowers, feel the cold, the warmth of a heart beating so strongly that it almost jumps out of my chest. But at that exact moment, I had to focus on my reality, even though it's often quite difficult.
• So, I said, "Okay, there are some things I still don't know about this school, so you can show me, starting with the language class."
• With that, she jumped with joy and, without my permission, linked her arms with mine, dragging me along. As we ascended the first flight of stairs, we passed by three girls leaning against the wall, and they glanced at us and whispered something.
• I wanted to understand, and after straining, I could even hear, or at least, that's what I imagined. "Look at the newcomer with the weirdo. She's cute, but with that other one, she won't make it until the end of the year, I bet."
• I didn't flinch; I stared at them the moment I passed by, as if to say: yeah, idiots, I heard everything you were saying, or thinking. I didn't stop for anything; I was dragged along by the girl I had just met, who was desperately trying to be my best friend. It was annoying, but I wasn't going to make enemies on the first day.
• Besides, I feel that whenever I'm doing something or being rude to someone, I feel like those other girls, I feel like I'm not at all like them. In fact, I feel somewhat reclusive, someone who likes to be alone and is often critical of everything, including myself, so I want to change a little since I ended up in a new city.
• As we climbed, more teenagers from various classes appeared. Most of them ignored me, just like they ignored my new friend, who kept chatting incessantly. We were like two extremes, and mind you, I don't know her well enough to say that. But first impressions count in the beginning, and that's what was showing. She was totally different from me. While I hated talking for too long, she loved it.
• Plus, she loved contact, something I hated. But I allowed it at that moment. Upon reaching the second floor, she showed me the lockers, the classrooms, and at one point, I saw a group of boys. I think they were my age, a little older than me. They were tall. Handsome, I would say. They were wearing their jackets with the school logo, a very elegant suit, which I envied. The girls' jackets were predominantly pink or lilac.
• The two men's were dark, both green and blue. One of them stood out. He was the strongest, the most interesting, with hair as black as night. Long, wavy hair that fell over his pale face. His eyes were black.
• I could only notice this because he stared back at me. And, incredibly, I didn't look away from him. It was as if he was pulling me somehow. An attention that made time slow down, as if it were in slow motion. We passed each other. And as that happened, I felt a strange shiver. It was the first time I felt so vulnerable and afraid.
• Not a bad fear, but a fear that led me to insecurity and those strange dreams I had been having lately. I shook my head, laughing at myself, because that was nonsense, obviously. He was just an ordinary boy. And, according to what I heard from the little conversation of his friends who chattered as much as this girl pulling me by the arm.
• I would say they were athletes. Well, I don't know what kind of sports they have at this school. That wasn't a part that made me particularly curious. But for sure, they were from the varsity team. I only snapped out of it when we finally stopped. She pointed to a room that wasn't entirely empty. The teacher wasn't there yet. And she smiled at me and said, "We're on the same schedule, in the same class, and there's a seat next to me, empty, ready for you."
• This time, I couldn't help it. I rolled my eyes with a feeling of, "Oh my God, I'm going to have to put up with this girl for even longer." So, I closed my eyes and forced a smile, saying, "How lovely."
• That was the only thing I said. Then, we went in. Other students who were there turned to look at us, staring at me. Obviously, for a few weeks, the newcomer would have everyone's attention. One thing I hate. That's why I hated moving. Despite this school's good reputation being the center of attention, it wasn't my strong suit.