Chapter 286

• "He's not your dad, he's just your sperm donor," she said. "I don't even know his name, and he doesn't know you exist, which is just fine with me. He picked me up in a bar one night shortly after I graduated from college, we hooked up in a cheap hotel, I learned what a jerk he was, so we went our separate ways long before dawn. Which was the last straw for me, since every man I'd been with for about a year had been just as awful. So I decided I was a lesbian, and I've never looked back."
• "If you've never regretted it, then you must have made the right choice," I said. "I'm proud of you, Mom."
• "Thank you, sweetheart, and except for the trap Amber has snared you in, I'm proud of you, too. But where I was going with this, is that every Thursday evening for about forty years, I've been presiding over secret lesbian orgies that we tell everyone else are bridge nights," she finished.