Chapter 975

• The rocks felt insanely hot against the backs of my legs. I couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed like I was at least eighty or a hundred feet up. I had spent the last half hour climbing up the side of the rock formation overlooking the bay. The crystal clear, blue water below looked warm and inviting. The base of the rock outcropping to my right looked was what had originally commanded my attention, however.
• I stood up, taking in the smell of the breeze blowing in across the water, and looked to the right. I felt hollow as I stared down at the rocks below that were so white that they looked like they were glowing. I felt a strange sense of relief at the thought of taking the jump. I chuckled bitterly at the idea that I'd leave behind one final painting of deep red on the white rocks below if I did it. Man, I have a fucked up sense of humor sometimes. I sighed heavily.
• Is this really the kind of person I am? I kept asking myself this question. Ever since I had discovered this particular rock formation a couple of weeks before, it had continued to draw me back to it. The idea of feeling nothing felt so much better than feeling the hollowness that continued to plague me. Coming here hadn't solved that hollow feeling as I had hoped. I had always considered the idea of doing something like this to be cowardly, to be letting whatever you were facing win. But here I was, debating with myself whether or not I was the kind of person who would take the selfish route to relief. I was out of tears by now, and just felt drained and empty.