Chapter 939

• I continuously told myself that I was admiring her form from an artist perspective and that it was a natural, understandable attraction. She had, after all, been the muse for the greatest drawing I had ever put to paper. But I also kept thinking I was wrong for finding her sexy. Especially when I found myself contemplating her neck, breasts, thighs, hell... any part of her really. She had started creeping into my fantasies when I would masturbate, which disturbed me a good deal if I allowed myself to think about it. I felt like I should not be allowing myself to indulge these kinds of thoughts. She was my sister, for Christ's sake. But she would continue to sneak into them, regardless of our relation.
• I once found myself in her bedroom, when no one was home. I stood in the doorway and smelled the air, which smelled faintly of her. I could catch hints of the perfume that she preferred, one of those pleasantly mild ones that claimed to smell like rain. I walked over to her bed and smelled her pillow, which gave me a stronger sense of the perfume as well as her natural smell. I felt a twitch in my cock as I took a second and third deep inhale of it. That snapped me back to reality enough to exit the room, pondering what the hell my problem was.
• Late one Saturday night after work, I was upstairs in my room painting. Amy was out with some friends and our parents were off on some couples retreat. Taking advantage of having the house to myself, I had the stereo blasting an old Cure album loud enough to shake the room. This pleased me a good deal, and I would normally have been making serious progress with the canvas, but it just wasn't coming together tonight. I stared at the gray and blue images in annoyance for a few minutes, trying to figure out how to coax what I wanted from it. It just wasn't happening. I tossed my brush at the water glass in frustration and cursed to myself. Crouching to the ground, I snatched up a tube of black paint and rocked on my heels, glaring at the canvas. I had been wrestling with this same idea for a week now, and restarted multiple times. It was starting to outright piss me off.