Chapter 117

• It began to slowly dawn on me. The conflicting feelings and emotions I had been having for weeks now, wasn't because I felt bad for Anthonio. Indeed, my pregnancy hormones had contributed to it, but it was mainly because of Manuel. I was still in love with him, and it scared me to no end. I was so scared that he would never come to truly like me or maybe even fall in love with me because in truth, he was only tied to me for the sake of our child. I was scared to be the fool who would continue to love him unrequitedly, while he just had his fun with my body. Those were the fears that I couldn't admit to myself until now.
• But now, seeing him so angry about the fact I was with Anthonio, only made me wonder why. Per chance, had Manuel gotten jealous?! Had he?? If that was the case, then it seemed to be that I had a lot of hope. Maybe I could gradually get him to begin to love me. It was possible. He already treated me with respect, protected me, and even wanted to be sexually intimate with me. All that was left, was love. If I was patient enough with him, it could grow gradually.
• I remained calm and stole glances at him once in a while. Okay, that wasn't true. I literally did not stop looking at him throughout the ride. I just wanted us to get home immediately, so I could let him know that Anthonio and I, had not planned to meet up with each other. I wanted to let him know that there was nothing to be worried about. And I wanted to initiate mindblowing sex with him. Looking at him every day, without being able to touch him was great torture. A torture that I was inflicting on myself for the wrong reasons.