Chapter 9

• I doodle on my book with my earphones plugged into my ears and Miley Cyrus's song playing. I've been thinking hard lately and it's annoying. And to make it worse, the thoughts are about Jakob. The last we talked — well we didn't really talk because he insulted me for trying out cigarettes for the first time which I regretted. Well since that day, Jakob, like usual, hasn't spoken to me. I would greet him and he won't answer like other days. It's weird and annoying. The only good part is that he hasn't left the house since that other time, and he doesn't glare at me. But he always throw dumb insults my way like douchebag or idiot every time I do something that offends him. And basically these are something that a normal person wouldn't find worth throwing insults at anyone.
• And the most annoying thing he had been doing lately is having sex. That Lennon girl is always dropping by this past week and they're always having sex. I always try to ignore it and pretend something that promiscuous isn't going on just across from my room, but it's not working. Lennon is always moaning loud and Jakob's groaning is too distracting. I can't think anymore, not without Jakob's groaning interrupting my thoughts. Deep and so sensual. And now I find myself thinking about him groaning and moaning but with me this time and not his clingy weird girlfriends. And I hate myself for having these thoughts. It doesn't make any sense.
• I don't know why I keep having sexual thoughts, and not about any other person but my very attractive roommate who's also an asshole and straight as a pole. Now I dread going to my own house at the end of each day because Jakob's always shirtless and even though I don't want to look at him, my eyes always find their way to stare at him. This is crazy and messed up.