Chapter 5 Inner Conflict

• It was the day of the reading, it was finally here the day she had villainy thought of in her head all this time. She had told herself it was okay to think it, he was bound to die anyway after being a sugar baby to Mr. Graham for over eight months enduring all that he had put her through. No sugar baby wanted him. He was stingy with their pay but she was desperate knowing how wealthy he was. Her inheritance from him was the only thing that kept her going. She detested him for all he made her do with the little pay that was not enough for a good life but today she was feeling the opposite of everything she had felt before for him.
• She was frustrated and angry at herself for feeling different today but he was someone's father, ex-husband and brother, how could she bring herself to stand in front of his family and accept the largest part of his fortune.
• It was no secret to the grahams family that their father had plans of transferring his better wealth to his sugar baby. She was the only one who stood by and took care of him to the point of his death so she deserved it, at least he believed so.
• "Mati...." She called her name calmly, taking in a deep breath before speaking to her reflection in the mirror. "He deserves all the empathy in the world and you've done a great deed for him that even his sons couldn't do. There's nothing...." She paused taking in another deep breath. "Nothing wrong with being happy for your inheritance. You endured so much for this and besides the money from it would be put to good use, so relax." She said watching her the reflection of her guilt filled self.
• "No this isn't working." She sighed walking towards her bed. Why did she feel so terrible right now. "Mati This isn't you. You wouldn't wait for someone to die to have the life you always dreamed of... But life hasn't been fair either. What do I do?" She buried her hands in her palms. She was caught in the trap of dilemma. She had a lone time to herself in silence before raising her face. A bold countenance written over her. It was a difficult battle between her mind and heart but she had finally come to a decision.
• "I can't do this. I am a human with a good heart. Otherwise I would not have accepted to pay off my dad and brothers debts. I do all this because I care. Mr. Graham may not have been the best person but I can't do this to him." She resolved even though a huge part of her protested against it. She had decided to go to the reading but only to hear what he had for her and choose to decline it later. She wanted to believe he had a large heart and see what he had kept to reward her. Yes that's what we're going to do, she spoke to herself within.
• She finished up with her makeup and slide into a dress letting her hair fall into a pony which brought out the beauty of her visage to the clearest view. She looked at herself one more time in the mirror and nodded encouraging herself to follow her heart.
• She looked out through the window and saw that the driver who was assigned to escort her to the grahams mansion had arrived. Her eyes lit up at her ride. How she earnestly wished for one. Mr. Graham had also deprived her of the privilege to a car. That was the least he could do to compensate for the miserable allowance he had placed her on. A sudden surge of anger flowed into her. This was not the time to resent on a dead man but he should have done better. He was too stingy to a fault yet he had all this money and with a name great as his the masses could only think his sugar baby would be treated like a princess but it was the opposite. She got nothing from him, not fame not financial luxury, he was the absolute worst client ever.
• The door to the car shut as she got into it. She knew nothing about cars but this was probably very expensive. More than her guess could tell. As they drove she had her head flooded with the thoughts of all the irritable things she had endured because of this man.
• "Mati... My sweet Mati, come closer." His voice rang in her ears. She could remember the scene clearly. It was the early months of her contract. Mr. Graham was bedridden in the hospital and on his request she had stayed to take care of him.
• "I'm here Mr. Graham. Do you need something?" She said trying to be empathic but each time he called her this way it was to ask for something she would end up detesting him for.
• "You know me well." He said weakly. "I do need something from you."
• "... Tell me."
• "Down there," he let his hand direct her, her eyes widened with shock then anger seeing the direction of his finger. He had that irritable look on his face that said he needed some sexual pleasure. She sighed heavily preparing her mind for what he was about to ask. "I want to feel your warm touch on it." He said moaning. Matilda gritted her teeth, her hand folded to a fist. It was quiet for a while before she brought herself to speak. She had been his sugar baby for three months and had only received a month pay. He promised he was going to settle the rest but it never came. It annoyed her so much that he had so many disgusting request and couldn't do the least of paying her allowance complete and in time.
• "But it never stands." She said referring to his dead rod.
• "I know but I just want to feel you. Even if it seems dead I do feel something when you touch it with your sweet mouth.
• "This isn't the right place too. It's a hospital."
• "It doesn't matter Mati... I just think you are trying to avoid this by all means." He sighed. "I always praised you for putting up with me and that's why I intend to give you the best part of my wealth when I finally give up. This small favors wouldn't matter once I'm gone and you have your share from my will. It is something you never expected. I promise that you will know nothing but joy once my will is read."
• There he went again trying to win her over with his talks about her share. She shook her head, what a sad life she had to live just to be rewarded at the end. She leaned in closer to him and when she started her pleasure business with him, she could see him reacting like he always did even though he was dead down there. She always wondered what was it with the exaggeration. While she was cursing at him within he let out a sound she had never heard from him before but soon she realized what it was as a warm feel filled her mouth. She froze shocked at what had just happened. The old man released inside her mouth but she didn't get the chance to give her perfect reaction. Mr. Graham had already fallen asleep. His monstrous snore threatening to take down the walls of the building.