Chapter 6 Lilah

• I sit surrounded by our friends, Knox by my side, where he has been since we became mates, well probably before that really. He was just more discreet in it. Now he is openly there, affectionate and sweet as ever, the big bad Alpha he likes to call himself, though that may have initially been my wording he now chooses to use as joke, yet to me he is the sweetest and kindest guy. And the best Daddy to our little guy.
• Kai had been an unexpected surprise, but one now I cannot imagine life without. We had not planned a baby, not even spoken about one, but when we found out we were pregnant we both got swept away in the excitement of it all. It distracted me from the other stuff going on too, all the difficult stuff we had to face. It gave me a positive to focus on.
• Anya, had been trialled at my former pack, River Ash Pack, for the torture, bullying and abuse she had put me through for the year or so after she found she was mates with our then up and coming Alpha, my then boyfriend Logan, who at the time myself, and then entire pack had predicted would be my fated mate. Tales of childhood sweethearts, close friends becoming a couple and being fated mates had always surrounded us, and even the pack elders has predicted we would be fated mates, him as the next Alpha, me as the Beta’s daughter. Though on the day of his first shift he found his fated mate, and that was the day my life changed, at the time it was into a living hell, but looking back now, I can see it was all part of a path to bring me to where I needed to be to become happy. Albeit a very twisted path that fate took to get me to my happiness, to where I belong, and a painful path too, but I can look back now and say I got through it, and I survived.
• Anya was the packs then current Gamma’s daughter (he and the rest of his family has since left the pack in shame after what happened with his daughter) and was Logan’s fated mate, she was instantly jealous of the connection Logan and I had, and the fact that Logan would not let me go, he clung to our past relationship, said many times he wanted both Anya and I as mates. She took it upon herself to make my life a twisted and painful hell, finding ways to torture, bully and abuse me, threatening to make it look like it was me initiating any assault as a “jealous ex”, threatening to push me and my family from pack, she succeeded in making me an outsider in my own pack and I was terrified she could have the same effect on my own family so, stupidly, I kept quiet for so long.
• Thankfully, with the support of Knox, his friends and Indie, and knowing I finally had a safe place where they would be unable to hurt me, and knowing I had people who believed in me, I was able to go to my parents, and the Alpha and Luna. This was at the time Knox and I had discovered we were mates, by rights, he could so easily have dismissed me knowing what I had done to block the mate bond, but he was still there supporting me, doing all he could to be by my side.
• Logan turned nasty, suggesting I kill myself, saying if he could not have me then Knox would not, and went to forcibly mark me. His Father, my former Alpha, my Uncle , got to him first (though my father, Knox and his friends were all there trying to protect me too) and took his own son’s life to protect me. The future of my former pack was changed in an instant. He had acted on the spur of the moment to protect me. But his son had changed progressively over time.
• It is only since that my Dad confided in me that Alpha Grayson has admitted that after Logan discovered I was not his mate he began drinking heavily and using drugs. Struggling to cope with the loss of a future he had expected. He was fighting with mental health, he was happy to have a fated mate, yet he was sad because he felt he had lost me. Something I never truly understood, as the extremely close connection with me should have ended when he discovered the mate bond with Anya.
• It was through the substance abuse and drinking, they believe that he became ill with multiple personality disorder. And this was the changes we saw in him. The nastiness and changes in his personality were not truly the Logan we knew, and his family had tried their hardest to hide this, fearing he would have his future Alpha title taken away, and had tried to seek help for him, but as he was becoming stronger through his Alpha training he was resisting and becoming harder to live with.
• In some ways I sympathise with Anya, as I do not know how she coped living with him, as he had truly changed for the worst, and being with him, desperate for his love, his care and affection must have been heart-breaking. But still, that did not make it ok the things she put me through. And Alpha Grayson and Luna Talia, and my parents made sure she was trialled for the things she did to me, as the kidnap and overdose of wolfsbane was considered by the werewolf council as kidnap and attempted murder.
• I could not bring myself to go to the trial after I had given evidence. I had shut the book on my past once I had become Knox’s mate and discovered I was pregnant. All the physical evidence I had saved from photos of bruising and screenshots of messages had been sent to my Dad so they had records of that. It had taken a while for the trial to happen as Anya had been pregnant, so they kept her under house arrest, allowing her to have the baby, a beautiful little boy, Landon, the image of Logan, who his Mum and Dad would now bring up to become the next Alpha of the pack, inheriting the title his Daddy should have had if circumstances had not been so unfortunate.
• Anya had given up by this point, very bitter, twisted and lost too from the loss of her mate. She didn’t even dispute the things she had done, admitting to it all, even laughing about it, saying it was all deserved. Saying she wishes she had killed me, then she may never have lost Logan. At that point the council decided she was to be sentenced to life imprisonment as she was showing no remorse for her actions. They were on the verge of giving her a death sentence, but felt it could cause suffering to the young future Alpha, so she would spend her life in the dungeons, in silver handcuffs.
• Ultimately I don’t know what punishment I wanted for her, I had left that behind now. Knox however had wanted her dead, he would gladly have killed her as would each of our friends. But that was their protective nature in them, trying to care for me.
• My Dad had said the same though, he would not have been sad had the council decided she would die, and he believed most in pack would have felt the same. The shock in River Ash pack had been massive when the truth came out. But the pack was building itself back up from the loss of its young upcoming Alpha, the tragedy, drama and crisis caused by him and his fated mate, and were focused on the positive of the future with the new young Alpha they had been blessed with.
• And that is what I had chosen to do, live for the future. The past had done nothing but hurt me, fate had given me a twisted messed up way to get to Knox, but I had finally found him, and now I was enjoying being by his side with our very own young Alpha to be parents to. And I loved that role, a role I never knew I wanted in life, but one I am cherishing each and every day. Despite the many sleepless nights Kai may bring, he was worth it…….