Chapter 8

• “You will have to reject me.”
• Reject him?
• That was it? All I had to do was reject him?
• Both satisfaction and misery rose in me at the very thought.
• I knew I had to do it for the sake of myself, my duty and my kingdom, but the very thought gave me chills like I’ve never felt before. And they weren’t the good kind.
• "Is that all? All I have to do is reject you and this will be over?"
• "But you can't," he replied almost immediately.
• "But I must. We don’t belong together, Drew. You know it, I know it, even fate knows it. You said it yourself; you feel trapped here because of whatever bond we have. You want to be free; you don’t want me like you think you do. You’re the alpha of the rogues and I kill them for a living. We will never work.”
• It felt like I was convincing myself more than him, as the looming thought of rejecting Drew made me feel worse by the second. I felt like throwing up.
• He shook his head, looking desperate." You don’t understand, Amber. It is only painless if both of us reject each other. As much as I still believe that I don’t deserve you and I can never have you, hell, I want you so bad. If you are going to reject me, it will be better if you look me in the eye and sink a silver dagger in my chest."
• For the first time since my siblings died, I felt my eyes burning in an unfamiliar feeling. Tears.
• Fucking tears.
• I didn’t dare let them fall, but they scared me. Who would’ve thought? Amber Rousseaux, the hater and hunter of rogues, would be in the state of crying at only the words of a certain grey-eyed man.
• I couldn’t let these emotions manifest. Even though the look of desperation on his drunk face and in his voice almost broke me to the core, I knew I had to do it.
• I had to do it for the sake of everyone. He will get over it, right? He must.
• Clearing my throat, I stared deeply into his eyes, realising that I didn’t know how this rejecting thing worked. Still, I tried.
• "I reject you, Drew," I said, but nothing happened. No sparkly light shone, no contraction happened in my chest, and Drew still looked the same. It didn’t work.
• Why didn’t it work?
• "Why didn’t it work?" I voiced my thoughts, but he only shook his head.
• "That is not the way."
• "Then what is the way?" I almost snapped, just wanting a good night's sleep. I cannot go home with this mate bond still in tack. I won't have peace until it's broken.
• “And Drew won’t have peace if it's broken,” my wolf growled. I knew she was against this. I could feel her reaching out to Drew’s wolf—caressing him, even.
• "I-I don’t know how a mate bond is broken," he mumbled softly.
• Unlike yesterday, I could see that he was telling the truth. All he knew was that rejection broke the bond, but he didn’t know how it actually worked.
• I sighed deeply as I accepted my fate of another sleepless night. I'd have to cancel my brunch with Nathan tomorrow and spend the day learning how this works. I couldn’t face him with all this mess.
• Imagine, two days ago I didn’t even know that my mate existed! What a messed-up twist of fate.
• Without another word, I spun on my heels and made for my motorcycle before Drew could say something else mushy and change my freaking mind. Drunk Drew was definitely an honest Drew. In his sober state, he was so cocky and... cold.
• But tonight, I got a glimpse of what actually went on in his mind, and it made me feel awful. He said he desired to have me, but didn’t deserve me. What did that even mean?
• It didn’t matter. I needed to stay focused on what I should do.
• As I climbed onto my bike, my hair blew in a sudden whoosh of wind and Drew was in front of me again. I hated it when he did that.
• "Amber, don’t do it," he said, gazing straight into my eyes.
• If I was lucky, I hope werewolf drunkenness works like human drunkenness and he won't remember any of this. Then, he won't be expecting it when I actually reject him.
• "You can't do it, Amber," he repeated as he reached out to hold my hand.
• But I pulled away.
• “And then what, Drew? If I don’t reject you and I marry Nathan, will you promise that your wolf will be able to take it and not kill him?”
• Silence. I was met with silence. But that was an answer.
• “But if you reject me, I’ll still kill him,” he finally said. “My wolf will still see it as his fault, and he will retaliate.”
• “Well get your wolf under control,” I snapped, and I could see that he was sobering up a bit. “You’re not making this any easier. You’re the one who came to my ball. You’re the one who said you didn’t want me and I trapped you here. Yet, you’re the one telling me not to reject you? Make it make sense, Drew. Make it make sense.”
• He stared at me for a while longer in hopelessness.
• “There is something about me that you don’t know. A side of me that makes my wolf act differently than what we’re accustomed to. It’s the reason why the rogues follow me—the reason I have the strength to match an Alpha. It’s like a predator, only seeing in black and white.”
• He inched closer to me, eyes staring intensely into mine. Even covered in alcohol, his scent made my body erupt in tingles—made my head feel light.
• “I will have no choice. Just like I had no choice in showing up at the ball.” He came even closer, his eyes burning into mine. “Just like I have no choice but to do this.”
• And then, his lips were on mine.