Chapter 7

• She resents him for being this way. He's always the same. He can't just let things go and allow her to move on. Just like his stubborn brother, always stuck in the past and unable to move forward.
• "Hmmmmm. Did you manage to complete your out-of-office work today? I stopped by around mid-morning, and you were out." Sophia continues to eat slowly, maintaining a calm facade and precise mannerisms, aware that he's searching for any slight reaction. Her tone remains steady and her voice exudes nothing but upbeat nonchalance. She never shows a hint of weakness to anyone.
• "Divorce him and start anew, Sophia. This isn't a life. He's never there for you, and now, today of all days, where on earth is he?"
• Sophia's cutlery clatters onto her plate as she drops it, a surge of anger causing her to glare at Johnny. She despises that he does this from time to time and never lets it go. She tries to count to ten before she says anything because she doesn't want to argue with him, of all people, but she doesn't understand why he makes this his problem every day of the week. He used to adore his brother and idolize him, but now he barely spends time with him and is the first to criticize his life and choices.
• "I don't want to divorce him. We're fine as we are, and I saw him today, I don't need him here. He's busy with our company, and it's no more a special day than any other. Stay out of it, Johnny; you don't understand our relationship," Sophia retorts.
• "Pfft." Johnny lets out a sound of aggravation, pulling a face that displays his anger and disbelief in her words. "Don't I? I have lived here watching it all from my corner. You think I don't see how miserable you are, and he never does anything to try and fix things between you. It's always been him who pulled away and kept you at arm's length. Are you going to waste your life on a husband who neither shares a bed nor a single meal with you? How is that an existence?"
• "I'm not hungry anymore. Eat, you look thinner these days, and you're pale. I have a headache, and I'm going to bed early." Sophia cuts him off, deciding that the best way to handle Johnny when he's like this is to follow Leon's example and leave. There's a faint smell of whisky on his breath even at this distance, and she knows he's not thinking clearly. He's biased, so it's always Leon who is in the wrong.
• He does this a lot too, just like his father did. When he can't handle what's going on in his head, he turns to booze and makes stupid mistakes. As a sister, Sophia loves Johnny with her whole heart, but she can't deal with him these days. He's not that sweet little brother who used to listen to her anymore, and she doesn't want to mother him. She doesn't have it in her to care about others deeply like she once did. It's all weight and stress that she doesn't need when she's barely treading water herself.
• "I'll start over with you. We can make it work. We were always closer than you and Leon...he doesn't love you, but I do. I'm not a kid anymore." His words stop her in her tracks, and she mentally counts to five and tries to control her internal reaction. Breathing slowly as her hands start to tremble, she resists the impulse to yell at him that he still behaves like one.
• This isn't the first time he's said these words to her, and it angers her that despite telling him not to say it anymore, here they are again. The painful realization that, no, Leon doesn't love her, and she's known it forever, but she still doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to listen to them; she doesn't want the burden of his feelings on top of everything else she carries every day, and she doesn't need his reminder that his brother married her out of duty and never once felt more than resentment for it.
• "You're drunk. Go to bed. I'll see you in the morning. Let it go." Sophia doesn't wait for his response or give him time to follow her. She marches out of the room and through their lounge, heading for the main winding staircase. She passes by Emily on the way and snaps a command to ease the tension.
• "I'm going to bed with a migraine, don't disturb me. See to Johnny, he's drunk."
• "Yes, Miss." Emily nods, seemingly wary of Sophia's dark mood, and bows as Sophia ascends the stairs and heads straight for her room without pausing to take a breath. She's not even hungry despite not really eating and is bubbling up inside with so many emotions that lean more towards anger than upset. Keeping her mind off the obvious was hard enough, and Johnny goes and makes it worse. Today has been terrible from start to finish, and she pulls her cell phone from her pocket and checks the time as she reaches the upper landing.
• Eight PM. This day is needlessly dragging, and she hates that she has to endure four more hours before she can chalk it up to another year gone by. She thrusts it back into her pocket and shoves her bedroom door open, stopping with a startled pause as she sees Leon's clothes discarded on the bed. The ones he was wearing at the office earlier, and she has a mild moment of panic and then a flash of hope that he came home after all.
• Looking towards the bathroom door, she sees it's open with no lights on, so she knows he's not in there. She turns to the study where he sleeps. The door is closed tight, so she walks over and pushes it open, heart in her mouth, and nerves jangled even though this is his bedroom too, but such is the impulse to always have more from him than she gets. The room is silent, pitch black, but he's definitely been here to change.