Chapter 1 Hope!

• Raajnandini's POV
• Have you ever felt like you are melting under the golden shine of the sunset? I do!
• Sunset always fascinates me. It fills the sky with so many colours and secrets. So many colours yet golden prevails. My heart released a sigh of relief when I saw tiny birds singing for the evening and returning to their homes while flying on the wide ocean.
• How fascinating to know that tides don't affect them, Winds can't stop them, they are free like they own their soul. I wonder how it will feel to experience this feeling.
• Coming to Hawaii was a good decision, I needed some time before taking the biggest decision of my life. I know I am true to myself, I am not doing anything wrong. God is with me and I can do it.
• If I can't fight for my love then what's the use of becoming so independent. My mother never steps back when it comes to her decisions, she takes what she wants then why can't I?
• I am sure they will understand me.
• I looked at the golden ocean as my hair danced with the breeze. My hands went sweaty as I tried to calm my nerves. Will it work? Why not, I am thinking too much.
• It's almost 6 pm and I am growing nervous with each passing second. I looked at the only way which comes to the beach, there is no sign. Maybe he is late.
• Should I call him? No, it will look desperate.
• "Do you want me to call him, Nandini?"
• I looked back to give attention to the voice which I hear more than my own voice.
• He gave me a smile which shows nothing but pity towards me. His eyes are telling me which is inevitable, we both know that this is not the first time but I am not ready to believe it. I don't want to even think about the probability.
• My hands shivered as I wiped them on my colourful sundress to get rid of nervous sweat. If my fear came to reality today then it will break me. I won't be able to give myself to anyone after this.
• All the efforts, energy and feelings. I am not ready to break again. I healed myself every time but this will be the last stroke.
• I smiled at Simon.
• "No, Simon... I know he will come."
• Simon didn't say anything but I know he believes that this is stupidity. Maybe I am stupid but dreaming for the life you want is not wrong, right?
• So what if my father is an Italian mafia King and my brothers are the most feared men in the country, I do have a right to choose for myself, right?
• "Nandini"
• Simon's voice was gentle and consoling but it's making my fear take its peak because he is indirectly telling me that it's going to happen.
• Simon is my bodyguard, he has been with me since I was in highschool. A well trained and strictly disciplined man.
• He is almost 15 years older than me and used to call me ma'am, I didn't like it. There are very few people who are close to me and I love to build special bonds with them.
• Simon refused to call me by my name but I am too stubborn for him. At last we came to the agreement that he will call me Nandini, the second part of my name. Others call me Raan, which is short and not long like Raajnandini.
• Perks of having a South Asian mother!
• "Don't say it, please"
• I mumbled looking at the table which I decorated by myself for the love of my life.
• Today I am going to propose to him for marriage. I don't believe in gender duties which so-called society has set for us. If I want to spend life with him then what's wrong in taking the step ahead.
• Andrew and I have been in a relationship for almost two years, I think that's enough time to get to know each other and think about the future.
• "He will come"
• This is not my first relationship with a man, the men I have dated before ghosted me and I am not naive to not understand the reason. The fact is they didn't even have the courage to say it out loud and I didn't have the courage to go and ask them. Because I know, I know what their answer will be. So I let them ghost me.
• Andrew is the first man who stayed beside me for two years. He didn't ghost. He treats me well. He loves me and I doubt I'll ever get a man like him. I want to spend my life with him.
• I know he will come. I released a shaky sigh while looking at the road.
• Weird sparky feeling rushed inside me when I heard the roaring of the car. I know this sound, it's him. He came.
• I smiled and bored my eyes in the direction.
• Simon smiled at me and walked away, giving me the sense of privacy but I know he will be watching me from afar.
• I looked at the man who stole my heart. He walked towards me, his hair fighting with the breeze as he cut the distance between us and stood a few feet away from me.
• His lips turned into a small smile giving me a sense of relief, maybe I was paranoid. Everything is fine.
• "Raan"
• He sounds everyday but still there is something in his voice.
• "Andrew, I thought you forgot."
• A nervous chuckle left my lips, I don't want to sound desperate.
• "How can I forget that the love of my life wanted me to see at the same place where we met for the first time."
• Sunshine sparkled his deep brown eyes as he said those fluttering words.
• "You remember!"
• My eyes held nothing but admiration for him.
• This is the place where he first met me and we got hooked at the first glance at each other. I still cherish that moment.
• His eyes wandered on the silly attempt of mine to make something special. He smiled at the efforts, he always does.
• But his eyes watered and my heart struck with the thunder under the calm sunset.
• It happened, my nightmare came to reality.
• "Raan, I am sorry..."
• He didn't dare to look at me as his tears fell down and disappeared in the sand.
• "I love you but ___"
• I didn't realise when my own tears started running, I can't blame him. I shouldn't. It's not his fault.
• My throat tightened with the feeling that someone is suffocating me to death. I blocked my stupid mind from flashing our happy memories and broke me into the mess which I don't desire to show Andrew.
• "I understand"
• I gulped down my tears back to my hurting throat.
• I turned around on wobbly legs but he rushed in front of me to stop me. He tried to touch me and I noticed thousands of thoughts running in his mind. He refused to touch me and it hurt. The man who didn't let me get out of his embrace is now scared to even hold me.
• "You can't leave without knowing the whole truth... I won't let you think of me as a coward because I am not..."
• Pain is dripping from his eyes. He didn't have to say anything, I know.
• "I love you more than myself, Raan... I can die for you but what about my family..."
• It hurts more than hell to realise that people are in danger because of me.
• "I can't let them lose their lives because of me... I had to choose..."
• "And you choose them."
• I shouldn't be saying that, Andrew has a loving family just like I have. Maybe I would have chosen my family over anything else too. He is not wrong but it's difficult to make this stupid heart understand logical things. It only knows how to love people and then get broken.
• "I can't watch my family dying in front of me..."
• He confessed.
• "I will always remember our time we spent together... It will always hold a special place in my heart... I am sorry for failing you... Maybe I am a coward because I don't even have the courage to give you a last hug... I am not allowed to touch you..."
• "Just leave, Andrew..."
• My legs gave up letting my knees kiss the sand.
• "I am sorry for endangering your and your family's life."
• He turned around with the same pain in his eyes that my eyes are holding. I watched him disappear behind the shiny car door just like he is going to disappear from my life. My heart clenched in pain thinking that we won't be seeing each other again. I won't be able to hear that voice which made me feel at peace.
• Why is there no man who is ready to stand against my family, who's ready to fight for me. Who has enough guts to stand against my father and tell him that he deserves me.
• Why?
• I looked at the sky.
• "Is this too much to ask for, God!"
• How funny it is to think that I worship different gods of two religions still none of them are giving me the one single thing which I desire.
• I wiped my tears and looked at the phone which rang on the table of my b roken dreams.
• Fury engulfed me when I saw his name on the screen.
• "How dare you call me, Alex?"
• I growled at him.