Chapter 1 Reasons

• Alayah’s p.o.v.
• My name is Alayah, a sixteen-year-old Lycan. I’m sitting on the back porch, watching my mother lie near the flowerbed, lost in her own world as usual.
• She’s always been distant, drifting in and out of my life since I was little. According to Grandma, my mother cared for me when I was a baby, but as soon as I was old enough to react, she started pulling away. No one’s ever told me why.
• Dinner’s always the same when she’s around: quiet, tense. Grandma and I do most of the talking, though even she knows better than to expect much from my mother.
• After dinner, I retreat to my room to focus on my accounting studies. I chose this path because most Pack leaders hate doing it, and I want to help our Alpha. It’s my way of contributing, of finding some control in a life where my mother’s absence has always been constant.
• When I wake up the next morning, I already know—my mother’s gone again. She always leaves in the dead of night, and we just wait for her to come back, though a part of me hopes she never does. Another part of me still clings to the idea that maybe, just maybe, we could have a normal relationship.
• It wasn’t always like this. My father died in a Rogue attack six months after they had marked one another. Grandma told me they were Mates, and Mom was devastated after losing Dad, and even finding out she was with Pup couldn’t pull her from her depression, Grandma had to watch her twenty four seven.
• She stayed until I was eight, then began disappearing for months at a time, never caring about my life or asking about school.
• The only thing she ever did was sit by the flowerbed my father planted for her, staring at the sky. I keep that flowerbed alive—it's the only piece of my father I have left.
• Then, just a few days before I turned seventeen, something shifted. Mom came back after months away, looked at me for the first time in years, and simply said, "I am sorry but you remind me too much of him." She left again shortly after, and it was the last time I saw her.
• I finally understood—her pain was tied to me, to how much I look and act like my father. I had his jet black hair and emerald, green eyes. It sounded as if I was an exact copy of him, with of course the difference that I am a female.
• I wanted to know more about Dad and I was talking to Grandma’s Brother, Uncle Rex, and he let it slip that Dad was our Beta’s older brother, and I realized I had more family than I ever knew.
• Grandma never took me to the Pack-house, not even for huge celebrations. She never told me about the rest of my family. I wasn’t sure if Dad’s family knew about me, maybe they asked Grandma to keep me away from them, maybe Mom made her promise to never take me to the Pack-house.
• So I just decided to visit the Pack-house, searching for answers.
• I woke up feeling nervous as hell. After going back and forth with Topaz, my Lycan, I decided today was the day I’d visit the Pack-house. Grandma was away for a few days, so I had no excuses left. Breakfast at the Pack-house seemed like the perfect opportunity to see if Dad’s family even knew I existed. Topaz and I prepared ourselves for the worst—my family rejecting me just like Mom had.
• After getting dressed, I grabbed my tablet and left the cottage. The walk to the Pack-house was filled with the usual morning bustle. Other Pack members rushed by, complaining about being late or chatting about their night patrols. No one paid much attention to me, as usual. I wasn’t in a hurry. Being homeschooled by Grandma meant I never had to deal with rushing off to school or being asked awkward questions about my parents. For the past year, I had been taking online college courses, thanks to Grandma’s background as a teacher. It was a blessing, one I didn’t take for granted.
• As I approached the Pack-house, I felt a knot form in my stomach. I didn’t know what to expect, but I kept walking, following a group of warriors up the stairs to the dining hall. I grabbed a plate and moved through the buffet, filling it with my favorite foods. Topaz was anxious, but I kept my cool. No one noticed me, so I didn’t expect the sudden silence that followed. It was as if a switch had been flipped. The dining hall went dead quiet. I thought it was just a coincidence—surely, they weren’t reacting to me.
• I turned with my plate, my eyes searching for the table I’d spotted by the window. Just as the soft hum of conversation began to return, a shadow fell over my table. I didn’t need to look up to know who it was. “Good morning, Alpha,” I said, turning to face Alpha Randell.
• “Good morning. I don’t believe we’ve met. Who are you?” His voice was curious, but not harsh. Next to him stood a tall, imposing figure. My uncle.
• “My name is Alayah,” I replied, holding his gaze. “I live with my grandmother near the eastern border.”
• Alpha Randell glanced at my uncle, and I caught the confusion on his face. There it was—the question he wouldn’t ask. I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. If my uncle wanted to know if I was his niece, he could ask me himself. I wouldn’t make this easy for him.
• “If you don’t mind, Alpha, I’d like to finish my breakfast before it gets cold. Unless there’s anything else you need to know,” I said as I look both of them in the eye.
• Alpha Randell seemed surprised, but he nodded. “Once you’re done, I want to see you in my office.”
• “Of course, Alpha.” I turned back to my plate, determined not to let anyone rush me. I could feel my uncle’s eyes burning into my back, but I took my time. When I was done, I dropped off my plate and mug, then grabbed my tablet and made my way to the Alpha’s office. My uncle walked beside me, silent. Topaz, ever the troublemaker, kept making faces at him, sticking her tongue out in mock defiance.
• When we reached the office, my uncle opened the door without knocking. I wasn’t going to follow without permission, though. “What are you waiting for?” he muttered. “A written invitation?”
• I looked him dead in the eye. “For Alpha Randell to invite me in. I’m not his Beta or his Gamma, and I’m not his Mate, so I’ll wait for permission.”
• The room went quiet as everyone stared at me. I kept my composure, instructing Topaz to settle down. Finally, Alpha Randell spoke. “Alayah, you’re allowed to enter.”
• I stepped into the office. “Thank you, Alpha. I just wasn’t sure. Protocol states that no one enters an Alpha’s office without an invitation, and it sounded more like an order than an invitation.”
• Alpha Randell’s lips twitched, but before he could say anything, a voice asked, “Are you my granddaughter?”
• I froze, unsure who had asked the question. I turned to Alpha Randell. “My father died in a Rogue attack before I was born. I’ve lived with my grandmother all my life. I didn’t know much about my father’s side of the family until Uncle Rex let something slip. I’ve always wondered why no one from my father’s family ever came looking for me. I doubt my Mother and Grandmother hid my birth from anyone and that means that at least you as the Alpha should have known about my existence, Alpha Randell. ”
• I didn’t wait for a response. Without another word, I left the office and the Pack-house. If they wanted to be part of my life, they could come to me. If not, I didn’t need them. I’d made it this far without them, and I could continue just the same.
• Later, they did came to me. Alpha Randell explained to me that he didn’t tell them about me because they were still grieving the loss of my Father and that his family never really cared for my Mother. I had to ask Grandfather about the reason as Alpha Randell never really understood it himself.
• “Alayah, have you been waiting long?” I hear my Grandfather ask and I smile at him as I shake my head, for the past five years I have been coming to the Pack-house on a regular basis.
• “Hello, Grandfather.” I say as I point at my empty plate and he smiles at me while shaking his head.
• Grandpa has a worried look on his face and I think it has to do with our future Alpha finding his Mate, “I am sorry, Dear. I am in over my head as usual, I can’t seem to make head or tails out of those numbers and Alpha Randell wants everything done before the big day.” Grandfather says as he sits down in the chair next to mine and I smile as I remember Grandfather and Uncle Paul complaining about the extra work Alpha Randell gave them.
• Last night we were speculating on how this might work out, Marc’s Mate happens to be the only Pup of our neighboring Pack. My best guess would be that they will combine the Packs, that they will give it a new name and maybe even build a new Pack-house somewhere in the middle of the territory.
• It also gives every unmated male and female a chance to find their connection, I know I can’t wait to find my own connection with my Mate and find my happily ever after.
• To find someone that will love me for me, who will always be by my side. To finally have someone that won’t walk out on me, every chance they get.