Chapter 6

• H A R R Y
• “Somebody answer me.”
• I stare back at Gemma who gave me an eager eye. I know she must have been traumatized and I know she never wanted me to make the same mistakes like what I did before. She never knew anything about what happened and until now I couldn’t tell her what really happened too. She would hate me.
• “How long have you been standing there?” I ask her.
• She enters our bedroom, “Don’t divert the attention to me. I need to know if what I heard was right, Harold.”
• I glance at Lindy who is looking much worse than I do. I know she never intended to lie about this but it would be too soon to let anyone know.
• “Who’s pregnant?” I asked her. “What you heard was--”
• “I am not stupid Harry.” Gemma says heavily. “Are you really pregnant Lindy?”
• Lindy didn’t answer and I can tell how sorry she looked from those eyes.
• “Gemma, you’re thinking too much, Furthermore you shouldn’t be listening to other people’s conversation.”
• “I wasn’t listening Harry. I overheard it the moment I stood there and I am beyond sure that what I heard was right.” She answers firmly. “Are you pregnant?” She asks Lindy.
• “Gemma I think Lindy had a long night, can we--”
• “Stop doing that!” Gemma exclaims loudly. “I need to know the truth! If you wont tell me, I swear to God I can never forgive you.”
• “She is pregnant.” I answered softly.
• Gemma gapes as her eyes flared momentarily in surprise. There was a stagnant pause between the two of us and Lindy just kept staring at her feet. I couldn’t tell if Gemma was mad that I got her pregnant or she was happy that I am having a baby. All I know is that she is worried that this is happening all over again.
• Her eyes glued on mine and I can tell from those eyes the stain of worry before she looks back at Lindy and approaches her, “How long have you been pregnant?” She asks. “How can you both be so careless?”
• “We’re sorry.” Lindy speaks as I rub her back.
• “Did you both plan this?” Gemma quizzed.
• Lindy shakes her head and in a snap second, Gemma stares into my soul. “I was careless.”
• “Good thing you know that it’s your fault!” Gemma smacks my arm.
• “Ouch!” I whined.
• “How could you be so selfish and not think about Lindy’s future once you will get her pregnant! Harry you know better!” She points her finger at my face.
• “I’m sorry, okay?” I muttered. “It wasn’t something I was planning too. We didn’t plan for any of this but it happened--”
• “Because you were so carelessly stupid!” She cuts me off.
• I can understand that she is angry at me because of so many possible reasons. It could affect majorly towards Lindy and I know Gemma is just worried for me as well. When I knew she was pregnant, I didn’t want to think of the bad things because I love her so much. Rather, I thought of this as a blessing.
• “Gemma please don’t be mad at him.” Lindy speaks. “It is my fault as well and not only Harry’s. We did it. We were both careless.”
• “Lindy, you don’t know how crazy Harry’s world is like with all his fans and the social media. Him being a superstar is a like a blessing and a curse at the same time. You have been through so much before but this time is much different. This is huge! This pregnancy is a lot more serious than before.” Gemma answers Lindy.
• Lindy moved her head towards me and smile ruefully, “Harry promised me he will be here.”
• I take Lindy’s hand and kissed it as I smile at her. My head turns to Gemma who is now looking at me with doubt, “I am taking full responsibility Gemma.” I tell her.
• Gemma stares at me angrily and scowls in frustration. Lindy would think that Gemma was disappointed that I got her pregnant and probably worries about the fact that we lied to her but I know Gemma is thinking of another thing. Gemma is thinking about Jolene and I cant stop thinking about her too now that this is all happening again.
• The entire night went by fast and we weren’t able to have the movie night. Lindy had fallen asleep in the bedroom after crying about how she felt like she betrayed Gemma’s trust. Lindy’s been fragile and I don’t really like seeing her cry after what I have done to her before. I didn’t want her to go through that kind of pain again, the kind of pain that I am always the reason behind it.
• I didn’t want it.
• Gemma is staying in room a floor right above us and hadn’t talked to me after she found out about the pregnancy. I know she has a lot in her mind especially that she would be reminded about Jolene again. I always worried that she would think of Jolene as soon as she would know about the pregnancy and I guess it was hard for the both of us to talk about Jolene again.
• We were all moving forward now.
• Around one in the morning, my phone rings as I lounge around the living room with a glass of brandy in my hand. I got a message from Gemma which says: “Open up. We need to talk.”
• I began to head to the front door and opened it for Gemma. She steps inside as we both walk towards the living room, “You want something to drink?” I asked.
• “I didn’t come here to drink with you, Harry.” She faces me.
• I remained silent.
• “Where is Lindy?” She asks.
• “She is asleep.”
• “Good. We need to talk about this outside.” She begins to walk to the balcony.
• I followed her and as soon as we entered, she closed the sliding door to make sure Lindy wouldn’t be able to hear us. The moment she closed it she says, “You’re a jerk. You never learn your lesson do you?”
• “Gemma this is something different.” I answered.
• “Different? It’s the same thing. It’s happening again! You never learned your mistake from what happened to Jolene and now this with Lindy.”
• “What happened with Jolene was different, Gemma.” I answered firmly.
• “She loved you!” She breathes. “All she ever did was love you, Harry. You promised her you would be there for her. You promised her the same thing you promised Lindy earlier and I don’t want the same thing to happen to you again because I know how trapped you felt.”
• You don’t know Gemma. You don’t know half the truth. I’m sorry.
• “I love Lindy.” I answered.
• “I know. But this whole thing will ruin her, God damn it Harold, her future! Before you inserted your dick inside her, didn’t you ever think of what would happen to her when you get her pregnant?”
• I silenced.
• “Things will change with her life. She’s seventeen Harry! She’s so young to be going through this, even after what she has been through all her life just being in love with you!” She continues.
• “Why do you always make it seem like it is always my fault?” I asked her.
• “Are you plain stupid? Because it is your fault.” She gestured her hand to me. “Being with you is like a sin in this world of stardom and women who are linked to you always gets bashed and hated just for the mere reason that they are with you. Think about what will happen to Lindy when the whole world will know about it. Have you ever thought about how to tell her parents about this?”
• Her parents. Fuck, I honestly haven’t thought about that yet.
• I rake my fingers through my hair as I stare at the agitated Gemma, “Lindy is a wonderful woman, Harry. She has so much to offer to the world and don’t just ruin it for her.”
• “I am not going to do something irresponsible, Gemma.” I tell her. “I don’t know what in hell will happen in the future, but I wouldn't want Lindy to go through this alone. I told you I love her and this time is different. It isn’t going to be like how it was before with Jolene.”
• Gemma sighs as she stares at me eagerly.
• “I will love her and our growing child.” I added.
• “What if her parents would want you to marry her because you got her pregnant?” She asks something I never ever thought of in my life.
• It never slipped in my mind that her parents would want us to marry because Lindy is too young and I know her parents still has a lot of dreams for her.
• I love Lindy more than anything in this world, but marriage is still not part of my plan with her. Not because I am not sure that it is her I want to marry but because I am not sure about myself.
• It isn’t because I don’t want to get married but it’s a matter of I couldn’t yet. Marriage is spending your entire lifetime with that person you love the most so what if she will learn that I am not the right person for her to spend her lifetime with or I would figure out vice-versa.
• I have always thought that marriage would always run out its course the longer you are with that person for years just like what happened to my parents. I always have that fear inside my head that there is marriage because there is divorce. There is love because there is hate. There is loyalty because there is infidelity. There is happiness because there is sadness. There is forgiveness because there are sins.
• “Haven’t you thought of anything about what would happen to her?” She asks.
• It was getting more annoying because she blames it more on my face when I already know that it was my fault. “Gemma, right now all I can do is be here for her. I don’t know what will happen in the future but I know for a fact that I will be there for Lindy. I don’t wanna lose them.” I answered.
• She sighs before she wraps her arms around me, “I know you love her and I understand what you’re going through. I’m just scared that history will repeat itself and I don’t want that for Lindy.”
• “I am scared too.” I answer.
• Gemma pulled herself away and cups my cheek, “She is a very wonderful person, Harry. Don’t ruin her life just because you can’t fix your own. Don’t hurt her like what you did to Jolene.”
• I sigh and I always feel sad when I think about Jolene.
• “Learn from your mistakes in the past and do something right for Lindy. At least pay for all the debts you have had from your past mistake.” She adds.
• I nod.
• She pulls herself away, “When are you telling mum?”
• “I can’t tell mum yet. Not yet.” I answered.
• “Why not?”
• “I want to talk to Lindy first before I make my own decisions alone. I don’t wanna do things hastily.”
• “Okay. I will keep your secret.”
• “Thank you G.” I hugged her.
• When Gemma left, I headed to bed and fell asleep.
• “Harry please don’t do this. You promised me.” She begs as she cries.
• I cover my ears frantically as Jolene’s cries grew louder. “Make it stop. Make it stop please!” I screamed and as soon as I stare at my hands, I see a pool of bright red blood on it.
• I continued to scream as loud as I could until I felt myself breathing heavily with a fast heart beating inside my chest. I was sitting on top of my bed, sweating and shaking.
• “Harry, are you alright?” Lindy asks me and as soon as I stared at her, she looked at me worriedly.
• “What’s wrong?” She asks with her sleepy voice.
• I shake my head and hugged Lindy, “Nothing.”
• Jolene, I’m so sorry.