Chapter 1

• HARRY
• “Five weeks.”
• She’s pregnant for a month and seven days.
• I exhaled deeply as I try to settle myself. The first thing I thought of when she told me that she was conceiving our baby is worrying about her future and not mine.
• My mind quickly worried about her because I know she has so many dreams she wants to achieve. She wanted to be a lawyer and wish to defend those oppressed people who are less fortunate to fight for themselves. She had dreams and I am ruining it.
• I always ruin things.
• I honestly didn’t think of what the people will say about me knowing that Lindy was much younger than me and that she’s pregnant at such a young age. I didn’t even worry about the public not accepting it since it’s really none of their businesses anyways.
• I see tears filling up her eyes and I feel so bad for what I have done. In a split second, I hugged her tightly because I didn’t know what else to do. Also, I wanted to make her feel that everything was going to be okay even though I know this will ruin her, highly the both of us. I tried to calm Lindy down and tried to relax her tensed muscles by rubbing her spine.
• I know this was something unexpected and I know that she’s far too young to have this kind of journey when she has so many dreams she wants to achieve. She has a bright future ahead of her and this baby could potentially shift her course. This baby will change all of our plans in life.
• Clearly, we are both not ready for this. We weren’t ready to be called parents.
• Most importantly, I am not ready to be a father. Hell, I don’t even know how to.
• All those times I never used a condom makes me want to go back and wish that I should have had. It just feels different when it’s bare and feeling her warmth wrapped around my naked dick makes me convulse in lust. Most importantly how in the world did I miss? I always pull out before I am going to cum.
• “Harry.” She calls out with her soft voice. “I’m not ready for this.” She pulls herself away from me.
• I raked my fingers through my hair as we sat on our seats in silence. I think both of us were trying to organize our disturbed thoughts, most especially me. I glanced at her and she looked much devastated as I was. I wiped her tears off her cheeks with my thumb and tried to smile at her.
• I wanted to tell her that everything is going to be okay because we have each other, but I know that’s too selfish of me to say. Even if there’s that reassurance, there’s still that unknown fear of how our future will unfold.
• “I was doubting on telling you about this because I was scared.” She mumbles.
• “Why? Didn’t I tell you that you can always tell me anything?”
• “I know but this one is different, Harry. You’re famous. I was too scared to tell you because what if you won’t accept the baby? What if the baby would actually cause you to lose your career and your fans? I know how you love making music so much! You losing your career and everything you worked hard for would hurt me way more than—”
• “You’re always so selfless.” I cut her off. “You know that?”
• She sobs against her palms pressed against her face as I continued to say while embracing her again, “You never think of yourself first and what will happen to you. You have to know that my career isn’t the only thing that’s in line here. Your future too.”
• “I’m just completely lost right now.” She answers me.
• “I know you are.” I pulled myself away and held her hand as I kissed her knuckles. “But even if you feel lost right now, you’re not. You were never lost because I am here Lindy. I am happy that we are having a baby.”
• “You are?” She asks me, her eyes widened in shock.
• “What kind of question is that? Of course!” I assured her.
• Her lips forms into the weakest smile that she could do.
• “Let’s talk about this when we land Paris, okay?” I cooed.
• She nods and the entire flight, we were both silent.
• I wasn’t silent because I didn’t like what she told me. I was sad because I couldn’t help myself think about the things that will change between us. This whole baby will change the both of us and our priorities are now going to be divided.
• Shit, I don’t even know how to tell her parents about this.
• I was too damned excited of fucking her in the plane but I guess we were both not in the mood for that.
• Lindy keeps her eyes staring right outside the darkness of her window as she continues to keep quiet for the rest of the hours of the flight.
• Right now, I couldn’t explain what I am exactly feeling because it was a certain mix of emotions fighting each other inside my system. Of course I am happy that we are having a baby but the first thing I felt was fear and worry for her then followed by acceptance and now in the pits of my fear, I feel happiness beginning to blossom.
• Most of this was my fault, if only I used condom then I wouldn’t had her pregnant.
• I was too complacent and too careless.
• It’s too late for that now since the baby is already forming inside her.
• The moment we arrived in Paris, I helped her get off the plane as we were walking together hand in hand. After knowing that she was pregnant, I wanted to make sure that she was safe. I grabbed our bags while we were accompanied by my security team. The paps were quick to huddle around us, taking one picture after another and another more as fans began to scream and run towards where we were walking.
• “Bonjour Harry!”
• “Se il vous plait suivez-moi sur Twitter!”
• “Lindy smile for the camera!”
• “Can you please not push too much? I’m with a woman! Thank you.” I hollered out to the pap who was pushing on my right while my security was quick to push him and his camera away.
• I needed to make sure that Lindy was safe and our baby is safe too.
• “You okay babe?” I ask her.
• She pulls her head up and smiles at me, “Yes.”
• When we reached outside, I opened the passenger door for Lindy and closed it as soon as she got inside. I placed our bags in the trunk while my security team was trying to stop anyone from getting too close.
• “Harry is she the one?” One pap called out.
• “Oui.” I answered.
• “That’s really sweet Harry. Are you here for a vacation with your girlfriend?”
• “Yeah, thanks for staying around for our arrival. Drive home safe.” I tell the paps.
• I thanked my security before I got inside the driver’s seat. I started the engine and finally away from the airport. Lindy was still quiet on her seat and her eyes were wandering around the streets of Paris. I keep glancing at her while the lights were glimmering on her eyes. I reached for her hand and held it while my other hand was holding onto the stirring wheel.
• I finally caught her attention, “You’ve been really quiet.” I tell her.
• She smiles at me, “I’m sorry. Is it making you feel weird?”
• “Not really. Maybe a little bit.”
• Lindy half smiles, “I’m just thinking about so many things that’s all. I mean, for starters I felt relieved that I was finally able to tell you.”
• “I’m glad you were able to tell me too.” I answered.
• “I really thought you were going to tell me to have abortion.”
• I was taken aback, “Lindy, I would never tell you to do that.”
• “I know. I just can’t help not thinking about it since it’s still not entirely forming yet. I mean, it’s still a clump of blood.”
• “What are you even talking about? Whether it is still a clump of blood or not, I would never tell you to do that! I would rather lose my fame than lose my first child in such a horrible way.”
• “With what happened to us in the past, I’m just scared that you would reject me and our baby this time.” She answers.
• “How could you ever think that I would tell you to do that?” I asked her.
• “I’m sorry.”
• I sigh softly, “I’m sorry if my actions a few months ago made you doubt me. I will never let you risk your life for that kind of selfishness. We have spent sweaty nights making that baby, I won’t let it go just like that. It’ll be such a waste of effort.” I joked and it finally made her laugh.
• She smiles tightlipped, “But this is something more serious Harry. This thing inside me that’s going to keep on growing is the biggest responsibility that you and I are going to have.”
• “I know.” I answered.
• “We have to be mature for our actions.”
• “That’s why I’m not going to leave you just like that. I made that baby with you, and there is no way that I won’t take responsibility for it.” I squeezed her hand and kiss it. “Relax okay?”
• She nods.
• “Well anyways, do you have anything in mind that you want to eat?” I questioned. “Are you craving for anything?”
• “I am craving for some pesto, and chicken. Probably some garlic bread too. Oh and I want to eat mango.” She answers and her mood elated, thank God.
• “Ah.” I smiled. “We are eating for three now, right?”
• She smiles widely at me, “Yes. For three.”
• I placed my hand over her tummy and she just chuckles while she allowed me to move my palm around her belly. “Harry?”
• “Yes?” I moved m y head to her.
• “I’m really scared of the future.” She sighs, “Everything’s gonna change now.”
• She pulled her head up and faced me, “Harry this thing in my womb will change our lives forever. This thing will change us. This thing that’s growing inside me isn’t supposed to be here. This thing is going to ruin you and—”
• “This thing…” I cut her off. “…is my child.”
• She exhaled heavily.
• “This thing is not a thing, Lindy. It’s our baby.” I added and she stares at me with sad eyes. I smiled at her, “We made it because we love each other. I know you’re worried because of career and I am worried because you’re too young for this. Although we both have worries inside our head, please don’t worry a single thing about having to fight this alone.”
• She nods at me.
• “I am here, okay?” I cooed. “This was my fault to begin with but there is no turning back now.”
• “I’m scared.” She tells me softly.
• “Oh baby I’m scared too. But you know what’s not making me worry about anything?”
• “What?”
• “It’s because I have you in this.”
• She smiles at me.
• After we had dinner, we arrived in our hotel and placed all of our bags inside. As soon as I finished settling our things inside the dresser, I saw her standing by the balcony’s doorway. I moved closer to her and asked, “Do you like the room?”
• She quickly moved her head back towards me and stared into my eyes, “It’s beautiful. Of course I do.” She replied sweetly.
• I smiled as I move my way closer to her and hugged Lindy from behind as she begins to ask me, “Aren’t you worried about the drastic changes and possibilities of what this baby will do to our lives once it will come out?”
• “No.” I answer her honestly.
• “Why not?”
• “I told you, I have you. You’re all that I need to make me strong.”
• She spins around and faced me with a smile, “You give me hope. You give me strength to make me keep on going.”
• I kiss her forehead, “Who knows about your pregnancy?”
• “Just you and me.”
• “You were carrying it all to yourself all this time?”
• She nods.
• I sigh, “Even Martha doesn’t know?”
• “I didn’t want to tell anyone else just yet because I wanted you to know it first.”
• I nod, “Thank you. Don’t worry, we will tell your parents once we go back to Canada then I will tell my mom—”
• “No!” She cut me off with fear in her voice.
• Lindy stares at me sternly and I could see that she was scared of telling her parents. “My parents expected so much from me. I can’t let them know now. This will drive my mom insane. And… My dad…” Her voice cracks and I understand why she was being like this. “He will never forgive me. He trusted me so much in this relationship and I betrayed her by getting pregnant.”
• “But it wasn’t your fault.” I reminded her.
• “And neither is yours.”
• I shake my head, “No, this is my fault because I should have had protection beforehand.”
• “There’s really no need to blame ourselves now.”
• “Yes, but don’t you think we need to tell them sooner?” I questioned. “How will we explain to them if your tummy will get bigger? It’ll be hard to avoid.”
• She shakes her head vigorously. “I can’t tell them now. I just can’t. I’m not ready.”
• “Okay. We will tell them when you are ready.” I assured her. “You’re here for me and I will be here for you. We’ll be in this together helping each other.”
• Reassurance was what she needed but she was what I needed the most.
• This is different now.