Chapter 3 Haru

• The feeling of Aiden’s warm hand around my arm made my heart race and my stupid dick respond in the most inappropriate way. Shit! And I had just jerked off in the shower, too, all while imagining doing it with Aiden.
• Youth could be so damned hard to deal with.
• I moved my arm away from his touch. My face hot and probably red, I said, “All right. All right. I’ll have breakfast.” Just so he would leave me alone.
• Honestly, the only way to make Aiden rest his case was to do what he demanded of me. In this instance, eating breakfast.
• Taking a step back, I raised my gaze to his face and said insistently and clearly, “But you don’t have to drop me off. It’s not that far anyway, and biking doesn’t take long.”
• With that declaration firmly out of the way, I turned my back on him and took a seat beside Isaac.
• As I reached out and got myself a slice of toast, I spied him taking his seat across the table. I could sense that he was watching me intently, like a mother hen, making sure I ate enough to sustain me until lunchtime.
• I blamed his overprotective attitude toward me on that incident a year after our parents’ deaths. At the time, I had collapsed at school and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. It was discovered that I was severely malnourished and had depression and anxiety problems. Well, what child didn’t, after his parents had just passed away? Especially at the age of fourteen when life itself was one big, crazy mess?
• The incident had scared everyone shitless, particularly Aiden, who had been frantic. After I was discharged from the hospital, those lousy social services people had turned up and made a big fuss investigating our living conditions. This had stressed Aiden out to the max as he had been the sole guardian of us brothers under the age of eighteen—Mason, Isaac, and, of course, me.
• Aiden had worked his ass off convincing the case manager that he was a capable guardian and that they didn’t need to remove any of us from his care, despite working various part-time jobs with ridiculous hours to support us while studying for a business degree at the same time.
• At the end of the review, they decided to take me away, which made Aiden go berserk and only worsened the already dire situation. To this day, I still remember that fateful morning when the social services woman came to drag me away. I had been crying my eyeballs out and clinging desperately to Aiden. In fact, I had been so scared of losing Aiden and all my brothers that I went into overdrive with fear and anxiety and collapsed right there at the doorstep.
• Once again, I was hospitalized, and of course, the social services woman was scolded by the higher-ups for her highhandedness. Eventually, another manager was put on our case, and after another thorough review, she convinced us that taking me away was for the best and it would only be for a short time, until my health stabilized.
• Before they came to take me away, Aiden had assured me that everything would be all right.
• “Look at me, Haru,” he had said, his warm hands cupping my teary face as we sat there on the hospital bed. “I will come back to get you. We’re family, and I promised to take good care of you, didn’t I? You know I will never abandon you.” He hugged me tight and even kissed my forehead to soothe me, convincing me of his devotion. “You’re precious to me, Haru, and I seriously won’t know what to do if I don’t have you with me.”
• His words had managed to calm me down and put my fears at ease. We even did a pinky swear. Yeah, at the age of fourteen, I did a pinky swear.
• Three months later, the agency did another review, and because my health was a little better, I was able to return home, which was a relief to everyone, especially Aiden, who had been overjoyed and wouldn’t let me out of his sight henceforth.
• I remembered we had spent the whole weekend partying and sleeping in the living room, Japanese style, for my homecoming. It had been the first time any of us had smiled and laughed from the heart since our parents’ deaths. The first time any of us had felt like we were alive again.
• Thinking about those days made my heart ache, and I couldn’t help myself and sneaked a peek at Aiden, who still had his gaze fixed on me.
• Our eyes met, and my heart skipped. I glanced away, my body tense.
• Shit! That gaze was so freakin’ intense. Suddenly, I lost my appetite.
• “You don’t need to watch him eat, Aiden,” Reo said. “I’m sure he knows where his mouth is and how to chew his food properly.”
• Reo’s comment made me choke on the food I had just eaten, and I started coughing severely.
• Beside me, Isaac offered me his glass of water. He said, “Jesus, Haru, slow down. No need to rush with the eating.”
• I gladly took the offered drink and downed the lot in one go.
• Aiden said, “I’ll pick you up after you’ve finished your shift at the restaurant tonight.”
• Feeling much better now that I was no longer choking on my own meal, I put the empty glass down on the table and said, “I told you, I’m fine coming back by myself.”
• “At midnight on a Saturday?” Aiden asked. “You looking the way you do doesn’t help the fact that it’s not safe. I have no idea how many times one of us have had to intervene and save you from those types of bastards already.”
• By those types of bastards, he meant questionable men who were apparently obsessed with boys like me and made it their hobby to stalk and jump me along the dark streets of New York City at night.
• My face heated up at Aiden’s statement. Firstly, because I was embarrassed at the reminder. Secondly, because Aiden’s words hit me right where it hurt—me being treated like some damsel in distress. And thirdly, because I hated those bastards who always seemed to pick me to stalk. I was an eighteen-year-old boy, for God’s sake, not some pretty girl oozing with sex appeal.
• Reo said, “It can’t be helped you looking like that, Haru. Mom said you have the gene from our ancestor back in Japan.”
• I raised my eyes to Reo, wondering what that heartthrob was spouting about now.
• Isaac asked, “What type of gene is that?”
• “The Shrine Maiden gene,” Reo replied.
• Isaac raised his brows. “Shrine Maiden gene? Is that even a thing?”
• Reo shrugged his broad shoulders. “I think it just means a certain type of appearance. The ancestor from our mom’s side of the family used to have one every generation. It’s always a female though, and she said that person is apparently supposed to be very beautiful.”
• He turned his gaze to me as he continued. “Mom said you look just like the Shrine Maiden on her side of the family—her grandmother, to be precise. Another was our great-grandmother.”
• He smiled cheekily at me, probably to tease me, as was his habit. “She also said our great-grandmother was petite and so pretty in her younger days that the family had a hard time keeping her safe. One guy even attempted to kidnap her. When they caught him, he said it was Great-Grandmother’s fault because she put a spell on him, being a Shrine Maiden and all.”
• Isaac couldn’t help himself at hearing the ridiculous tale and burst out laughing.
• I frowned at Isaac and said coldly, “It’s not funny.”
• Isaac managed to calm down and wipe his tears. He said, as he wrapped his arm around my neck and tousled my hair, “So, you have your great-grandmother’s gene, the Shrine Maiden gene. That’s awesome. That just means we will have to work harder to protect you from creepy old men who want to fuck you.”
• That guy! Being extremely blunt as per usual. Like I’d want to be fucked by some creepy old man.
• If I wanted some under-the-sheet action, it would be with Aiden, and with me taking the lead.
• Mason, who was half asleep throughout the whole narration, chuckled. “You have my sympathy, Haru.” He rested his chin on his hand as he leaned on the tabletop, his eyes on me. “You need to become a man as soon as possible. It will solve that problem.”
• Isaac eagerly nodded in agreement. “And that means getting yourself a girlfriend and losing your virginity.”
• I had had enough of this silly talk. Suddenly, we were talking about my virginity now, were we? Like that was a public topic open for discussion.
• Reo looked as though he couldn’t contain himself and joined in the band of harassment, too. “That’s right, you’re still a virgin. Most of us lost ours when we were sixteen or seventeen.”
• God! He made it sound like it was a crime to still be a virgin at eighteen.
• Noah joined in. “Aiden lost his when he was sixteen. I think it was on his sixteenth birthday, too. Wasn’t it with that popular cheerleader from high school? I remember she was hot.”
• That was news to me. Aiden had lost his virginity to a hot cheerleader from his high school at sixteen?
• Sixteen? When I had first met Aiden, he had already been sixteen, nearly turning seventeen. That meant he had already kissed and had sex with some hot chick way before he had met me.
• I didn’t know why, but suddenly, I felt a little pissed at the thought of that.
• Aiden said, his voice firm, “Please stop talking about my sorry past, and it’s normal for boys to do that sort of thing at that age.”
• Noah nodded. “It’s a teenager thing. Most go through it.”
• Reo said cheekily, “Most. So, we can confirm Haru is in the minority here? And will not likely lose his virginity?”
• Isaac shook his head. “Nah, Haru is just late. Maybe it’s because of the malnutrition that ruined his growth.”
• He leaned toward me and whispered, “Is your little brother down there doing all right? I mean, you know, getting hard and stuff? Do you need some porn magazine or DVD to get you going? I can lend you some of mine. I know you don’t read or watch porn, but that’s because you’re late, but if you’re interested, I’m here to help, bro.”
• I wouldn’t be so pissed with embarrassment if Isaac didn’t act so suspicious in front of everyone as if we were conspiring on taking down the world, like a duo of infamous villains. The fact that his voice was so loud for a whisper meant that everyone in the room could hear him, crystal clear.
• I noted Mason trying to hide his smile while Reo and Noah grinned with obvious enjoyment at seeing my deep dark secret being revealed for all to hear. As for Aiden? He was still staring at me, his eyes so dark and intense it made my heart race and my stomach flip in dread.
• God! I didn’t want to face him.
• Was it so abnormal for a boy not to read porn? Was it so abnormal for a boy to stare at his handsome brother and get hard while fantasizing about fucking him?
• Of course, it was abnormal. God! I knew I was a sicko. A creepy weirdo.
• Reo was still chuckling away with hilarity, and I glared at him, wanting so much to strangle his neck.
• Being my biological brother, he should be on my side and understand my case. It wasn’t like I wasn’t struggling with my problem swinging the other way. Not to mention the fact that I also had unrequited love with Aiden and wanted so badly to kiss and fuck him that it made my head spin sometimes.
• The hormones! It was the hormones.