Chapter 1 Haru

• The first time I met Aiden Davis was when I was eight years old, when Mom, my older half-brother Reo, and I had just arrived in New York and landed at the airport. It was during winter, and I had a terrible cold during the entire flight.
• Aiden, who was sixteen years old at the time, walked up to me, took my small cold hands into his large warm ones, and said, “Hello, Haru. My name is Aiden. I’ve heard so much about you from Dad, and I’m glad to finally meet you. We’re going to be brothers soon. Isn’t that great? I’m going to take good care of you.”
• All I could do was stare at his refreshing smile, mesmerized. For an eight-year-old half-Japanese boy who had lived in a small town all his life where there were hardly any Westerners around, I found the sight of Aiden fascinating. I thought his blond hair and hazel-green eyes beautiful.
• I felt drawn to him.
• Brothers? We were going to be brothers, he said, and it made my heart swell with joy that we were going to be one big happy family: Mom; my new dad, Michael Davis; new brothers, Aiden, Noah, Mason, and Isaac; and Reo and me.
• That joy, however, only lasted five years, because just after their fifth wedding anniversary, Mom and Stepdad passed away in a motor vehicle accident. That joy had swiftly and unapologetically turned to sorrow. Slowly and surely though, that sorrow turned to determination, hard work, and eventually joy again, because us six brothers had stuck together through thick and thin. For me personally, that joy started turning to agony three years ago, all for a different reason, and the handsome face that had used to mesmerize me now pissed me off.
• “Haru? Wake up! It’s already half past seven.” Aiden’s deep-timbred voice insistently nagged at me.
• I flashed my eyes open and stared at the face that never failed to please a woman, the face that made my heart ache.
• My heart skipped, which only managed to annoy me even more at such an early hour of the morning.
• I groaned in protest and rolled over, giving my back to him. Damn, but I didn’t want to see him so cheerful, grinning at me with that ridiculous smile of his. It affected me in a bad way.
• I muttered, “Didn’t I tell you not to come into my room? Privacy, Aiden, privacy.”
• Aiden laughed wholeheartedly. “Sorry, but I can’t help myself. Old habits die hard since I’m always the one to wake you up. You always sleep so deeply, which is adorable.” He chuckled, as if he found that amusing.
• Who found an eighteen-year-old sleeping adorable, anyway?
• “You’d better get up; otherwise, you’re going to be late for your part-time job,” he said as a reminder.
• I said, “I’ll get up once you’ve made yourself scarce.”
• I knew I sounded snarky, but I couldn’t help myself. Seeing him first thing in the morning was the best and worst thing to me. Damn, but my heart still hadn’t stopped racing since he’d appeared.
• Aiden chuckled merrily. He was always like that with his easygoing attitude, taking everything I said as a joke and lightly brushing it aside.
• He said, “You know, you used to like my face, a lot. You used to always stare at my face and comment on how much you liked it.”
• I felt him sitting on the side of my bed and then leaning on the lumpy cocoon of my body.
• He continued, as if perplexed, “What happened?”
• What happened? Really? What the hell happened?
• I wanted to yell at him, “You happened!”
• I fell for you, for God’s sake. Hard!
• Hiding the forbidden feelings I had for him, I grumbled into the pillow, “People change.”
• “What was that, Haru? Did you say something?”
• I flipped the duvet away from me, sat up straight, and muttered, “I said people change.”
• Aiden gave me a warm smile. “So, you’re finally awake. About time.” He reached out and tousled my bed hair. “Good morning, Haru. How was your sleep?”
• I brushed his hand away from my head, my face hot with embarrassment. If I told him I had masturbated while thinking about him last night before going to sleep, and the fact that during sleep, I also dreamed of doing him, which made me so deliriously happy, would that count as a good night’s sleep?
• I muttered, “It’s okay. Sleep is sleep.”
• Aiden cocked his head to one side. “You’re moody today.”
• I put my hand on his chest and pushed him off my bed. Damn, but I felt so uncool that I had to put in quite a bit of effort just to make him move. The fact that he was bigger than me was something that always riled me up. With that type of athletic physique and such a gorgeous face and charming smile, who wasn’t going to fall for him? Ever since high school, there had always been strings of girlfriends attached to him.
• Sometimes, I wondered what happened to me, the runt of the family. Reo, my half-brother, wasn’t like me. He—like our stepbrothers Aiden, Noah, and Mason—was at least six feet tall and had an athletic build. Isaac, although he wasn’t sternly framed like the rest of his brothers, was still a head above me.
• And me? I was barely over five foot five. Barely. Who was going to find me attractive?
• When they, the girls, referred to us brothers—the Davises and the Onos—Aiden was always the gorgeous one, Noah the broodingly handsome one, Reo the hot Asian one, Mason the stunning one, Isaac the attractive one, and me the cute one.
• Why was I cute? Just because I was below the average height for a male didn’t mean they should refer to me as cute.
• Once Aiden was finally off my bed, I said, “I’m getting ready, so just leave already.”
• “I got it. I got it,” he said. Before shutting the door behind him, he asked, “Do you want me to drop you off at work?”
• I shook my head. “I can bike there. I’m old enough to look after myself. Stop treating me like a kid.”
• The fact was Aiden was the only person in our family who pampered me and treated me like a kid. My mom, Sana Ono, had never spoiled me when she was alive. Reo, who was four years older than me, and our three other stepbrothers, Noah, Mason, and Isaac, didn’t either. They treated me like any normal brother would—close, but not too close. Although I seemed to remember Stepdad had been a little bit like Aiden—overly fond of me and doting on me.
• Aiden chuckled. “See? Old habits die hard,” he said before closing the door.
• Yeah. I guessed old habits did die hard. Like me always running to him, seeking reassurance and comfort whenever I got into trouble, despite being a grown adult. Well, teenage young man, to be precise.
• It couldn’t be helped. Aiden had been the one solid rock I could lean on when we lost our parents. In fact, as the eldest of the family, he was the only strong brother everyone could lean on for support during that painfully difficult period, despite being only twenty-one years old at the time of our parents’ passing.
• I sighed, feeling depressed suddenly.
• Shit! Here I go again, feeling gloomy.
• Hormones. I decided to blame it on the hormones. I was eighteen years old and had never had a girlfriend. Let alone all-out sex. I was still a virgin. I could have gone to parties like most guys my age did, picked up some random girl, and just had a one-night stand like I had tried previously, but the thought didn’t sit well with me. The few times I had the courage to take action, I had never managed to go further than saying hello before walking out again, feeling sick to my stomach.
• Why the hell couldn’t I just be like a normal guy? Why couldn’t I just like girls and want to do them? Why couldn’t I find boobs attractive?
• Fuck! Why did I have to fall in love with Aiden, my own stepbrother?
• Why?
• Like hell I knew why!
• My chest felt tight and painful. It fucking hurt.
• With another deep sigh, like some depressed middle-aged man with a midlife crisis, I got off the bed. After grabbing a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and underwear, I headed out of my closet-sized bedroom.
• In the hallway of our crammed six-bedroom, no living room, one kitchen-dining-sitting area, one bathroom apartment, I met Noah, the Davises’ second brother who was five years older than me and was currently a brand-new university graduate at the age of twenty-four.
• “Morning, Haru, you’re up later than usual today,” he said.
• It looked like Noah had just returned from his intensive morning run. His shirt was soaking wet with sweat. Not to mention his forehead and face.
• “Yeah,” I said. “I didn’t go to bed until very late last night.”
• I didn’t add the fact that I was too busy masturbating while thinking about his older brother, Aiden, imagining doing all sorts of perverted stuff to him like kissing him, licking him, and sucking him, especially that large cock of his which I had seen numerous times when we used to bathe together when I was younger.
• Couldn’t be helped. The family wasn’t well off, and with only one bathroom to share among six brothers, taking baths together was the only solution to saving money on the power bill. And Aiden had always been the one to bathe with me, and when you bathe, you get naked, and when you get naked, well, you were bound to see parts of the human anatomy that weren’t revealed when you had clothes on.
• “I know it’s summer break and all,” Noah said, “but it’s only your first week on the job, right? You really don’t want to give your employer a bad impression.”
• Noah, the perfectionist, never failed to lecture me on my too chillaxed attitude where life was concerned. For him, life needed to be taken seriously.
• I said, “I won’t be late. I’ll bike there as soon as I’m done showering.”
• After all, I couldn’t afford to lose the job, since I needed money. I refused to solely depend on Aiden where that was concerned. As the only one with a stable income in the family, he had to pay a shitload of bills, not to mention there were six very hungry mouths to feed. Boys’ appetites could be extra expensive.
• “After showering and then breakfast, you mean,” Noah said firmly. “Breakfast is an important meal of the day, Haru. You just don’t eat right—that’s why you don’t grow properly.”
• His words hit me right where it hurt most. My size.
• I said, “Well, excuse me for dramatically bringing down the family’s average height, but I can’t help that I stopped growing at fifteen.”
• Noah must have realized his words pissed me off because he took a step forward and patted my head, like all the brothers did. It was their habit to pet me when I lost my temper. I guessed that was how you get treated when you were the youngest in the family.
• “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just watching out for you.”
• “I know,” I said.
• Yes, I knew he was watching out for me, as all the brothers did. After all, that incident when I had collapsed at school from severe malnutrition had scared them shitless. Not to mention the drama that followed with social services.
• “I’ll have breakfast before I go,” I promised.
• Noah tousled my hair as he said, “Good boy.”
• I brushed his hand away and asked, “Can I use the bathroom first? I have work at nine today.”
• Noah nodded. “Go ahead.”
• “Thanks,” I said as I turned on my heel.
• At the bathroom door, I knocked, knowing one brother or another was currently in there using the facilities.
• The door opened a moment later, and Isaac, the Davises’ fourth brother and a year older than me, appeared.
• “Oh, Haru. Morning. The bathroom is all yours.”
• “Thanks,” I said, nodding.
• Once Isaac left, I slipped in, gladly shutting the door behind me. Honestly, I thought, once I had saved enough money from my part-time jobs, I’d find myself a small, very affordable apartment to live in while studying. Sharing a place with five other brothers was no fun at all, especially when you’re sickly in love with one of them.
• Yep. I’d be leaving this apartment before summer ended, any brothers’ protestations be damned!