Chapter 28 The Edge Of Submission

• I like to think I handle things fairly well. When you've lived a life like mine, you'd imagine few things could truly faze you. And while it's true that I've come to appreciate my ability to respond adequately under hostility, I don't think anything could've prepared me for what I learned tonight.
• With one arm bent under the pillow, I lay on my side over the bedsheets, watching the bathroom door as I wait for Efrem to emerge from the shower. The lingering effects of the drug keep my mind hazy, time seeming to pass in a blur.
• But I don’t want it to stop. I don't want to sleep. I don't want a clear head. I want to ride out the haze for as long as I can, because I'm afraid that when I finally do sober up, I won't have a choice but to confront the reality: I am here out of charity.