Chapter 262

• My naughty aunt May
• I was a typically hormonal, testosterone-overdosed teenager, I suppose. Well, typical in the sense that I could sometimes get a hard-on from the vibration of riding a bus, but maybe not entirely typical when it came to chatting-up girls. I was incredibly shy and couldn’t speak to a girl I fancied even if my life depended on it.
• Which made life desperately unfair because, of course, I wanted to shag anything with a hole in it when I was in my teens, just like every other lad. I just couldn’t do anything about it. I’m glad wanking doesn’t really make you go blind, or I would probably have lost my sight before my fourteenth birthday. It was a very frustrating period in my life.