Chapter 4

• Laura and Philip started walking back in the direction of her aunt's house.
• "We met here, ya know, right about there on the beach. I was 10; he was 12. I was building a sandcastle, and he nearly smashed it when he ran by catching a football. I was visiting my aunt Beth, and he was vacationing with his family and staying in one of those rental cottages down the street."
• Philip laughed to himself at Laura's recall. What a pleasant childhood memory.
• "When I went back home after the summer, I saw him in school. It turned out we lived a mile away from each other."
• "And, yet, you met out here by the sea," Philip added.
• "Yes. And we were friends from then on."
• "Does it bother you to talk about it?"
• "Not those memories. Those are bittersweet ones. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days. Life was simpler then. All you needed to know was that boys had the cooties, and a circle and a dot could protect you from them."
• As Laura walked along talking to Philip, she felt at ease with him, like she was talking to Donnie. Even with his presence next to her, she could almost sense she was next to Donnie.
• "How long were you married?"
• "Almost five years." She said. "Tomorrow would have been five years..." her voice seemed to trail off.
• Philip could sense the regret in her voice; regret that they did not marry sooner.
• "Did you have any children?"
• "No." she spoke softly, "No, children. We wanted them; we just weren't blessed by them."
• "We waited until we were finished with college and established enough in our careers before we got married. If I could take it all back, have it all to do all over again," Laura stopped. Her voice cracked and trembled. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
• Philip wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. She stroked her long sandy blonde hair smooth. "We cannot think about what might have been, for we never know where we will find ourselves tomorrow."
• His words were like a soothing blanket to her. Laura felt his warmth. She felt the steadfastness of his heartbeat. She knew he was right. She knew that Donnie would not have wanted her to regret their time together.
• They strolled along in silence as he embraced her, and she leaned into his gentle strength.
• When they came to Laura's aunt's house, she stopped. "Thank you, Philip. It has been very comforting talking to you. Your kind words have helped to strengthen me."
• Laura stood there for what seemed like hours, but only just a second or two, staring into his face. His eyes and his smile reminded her so much of Donnie. But it wasn't just the color of his eyes or the shape of his lips. It was something more, something deeper that seemed to capture Donnie's spirit.
• "It's getting late. I should let you get back to your home."
• Philip took her hand again and kissed her goodnight.
• "Would you like to come in for some coffee?" She said quickly before she changed her mind. "I mean, I don't think I will be able to go back to sleep anytime soon."
• Philip smiled his smile that made her think she was talking to Donnie and not Philip. "I would love some, but I do not want to wake your aunt."
• "Oh, she's not here. This is her summer home. She let me stay here for a while until I am ready to face life at home again."
• "Well, then, shall we?" He said as he extended a hand to her.
• It felt good to be inside. The sea air had been a bit chilling.
• Laura led Philip to the sunporch off of the kitchen. It faced the water and you could still hear the waves crashing onto the shore from there. She left to go and fix the coffee and returned a few minutes later with the coffee and some toast.
• The two sat for a while drinking their coffee and enjoying one another's presence. As they drank, Philip talked and answered questions about him. He was here on vacation (vacation as he put it) from France (Lorraine). He was a doctor and had been married. But his wife left him for another man, taking their only child, a daughter, with her to Belgium. Lucy, his daughter, was 4 and went to live with her mother and her nanny. He hadn't seen her in almost 6 months.
• She listened as this man poured his soul out to her and felt his loneliness, his emptiness. As she listened to him talk, she couldn't help but let her eyes roam over him. He was a little taller than Donnie was, but basically the same build and stature. Dark complexion, thick dark wavy hair, green eyes with long dark curly lashes, stern looking nose, luscious lips (she always loved Donnie's lips. She thought they were so kissable.) He had a large muscular chest, which she could see through his button-down shirt and large biceps. She didn't dare venture any lower with her eyes. Everything but his voice told her that this man was Donnie.
• Philip couldn't help but notice Laura staring at him. He wondered if she had been listening to him. He looked at her beautiful sandy blonde hair. He had remembered how it shone golden in the moonlight. She had blue eyes and the palest most porcelain-looking skin he had ever seen. He could tell she had been crying a lot, but when she smiled, her eyes looked brilliant like two-star sapphires. Her lips were full and ripe, and her cheeks, although slightly sunken with the depression, were round and full when she laughed. Her features were small and delicate and her build was slim. He knew from putting his arm around her that her waist was small. She appeared to be about 30.
• Philip stopped talking. Suddenly he felt very drawn to this woman before him. He felt he had known her all his life. He leaned over and gently kissed her on the lips. Laura tried to turn away, she knew she should have, but she too felt drawn to him.
• She gasped and touched her lips with her fingers. Laura froze. It was as if a ghost was sitting right there in front of her. Tears filled her eyes.
• "Laura, I am sorry. I didn't mean to. I felt something inside of me so strong, I could not resist."
• Laura reached for his hand, closed her eyes, and kissed him again. There it was again. She felt it for sure that time. It was the same feeling she had experienced in her dreams. She put his hand to her bosom. Her heart was racing.
• "Donnie, I've missed you. Kiss me." She said.
• Philip knew she was speaking to her dead husband, but for her sake, he did as she bid him. He kissed her more passionately this time. He looked at Laura who still had her eyes closed.
• Laura was still in her robe and nightgown. She was still grieving the loss of her husband. He couldn't. Not like this. But he couldn't push away either.
• There was something else there, almost like a magnetic attraction.