Chapter 6 The Nightmares

• “All the dreams I dream are nightmares and those nightmares are the ones I live.”
• ~~~
• Anastasia’s POV
• “Ana, come here,” the man said,
• “Leave me alone,” I screamed.
• “And why should I listen to you?” The voice asked, moving close to me.
• “I’ll report you to the cops, don’t come any closer.” I threatened.
• “Go ahead and try, we will see who they will believe,” he said with a wicked smile.
• He suddenly pulled me closer to himself. I could smell cheap alcohol and cigarettes on his breath which made me feel nauseous.
• “Please let go,” I said in tears with my lips trembling.
• “Not after I’m done,” he said, pushing me on the bed in the room.
• “Please don’t do this,” I said, crying profusely but all my pleas turned on deaf ears.
• Suddenly, I jolt awake, gasping for air. My heart races, pounding in my chest. Hot sweats drench my skin. I’m having this same dream again.
• I sit up quickly, disoriented, my surroundings blurry. The clock reads 3:47 AM. I turned to see my mum stir beside me. I hope I didn’t scream in the dream. I don't want to wake her up.
• I throw off the covers and swing my legs over the side of the bed, feet planted firmly on the ground. I can feel my heart beating faster than the usual pace.
• “Breathe, I tell myself. You're safe now, no one will hurt you here.” I muttered to myself with my hands folded together in the center.
• Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I confront the darkness that still haunts me. I thought I was getting over this. I thought I had outgrown this. I guess receiving that call earlier had messed with my brain.
• Why won't he leave me alone? Hasn’t he ruined my life enough? What does he want from us?
• I take slow, deliberate breaths, attempting to calm my racing mind. But the fear and anxiety linger, refusing to disappear.
• I get out of bed, seeking distraction. A glass of water or something just needs something to calm my nerves.
• I doubt I can go back to bed again. I’m scared I might have that terrifying dream again and it’s not even morning yet so I can’t go to work either. Maybe I should beg the manager to put me on a permanent night shift because I doubt I’ll be able to sleep properly at night again.
• I took out a bottle of water from the fridge and down half of it in a gulp. I sat down on stool in our small kitchen
• But the memory of his touch, his voice, remains. A constant reminder of the past I desperately try to escape.
• I really don’t like thinking about everything that has happened in the past but I can’t help it, it is so hard on me but I mastered living with it since it seems to be a part of me already.
• My mind is racing with thoughts, worries, and anxieties that refuse to let me sleep.
• Suddenly, I hear the familiar creak of the door opening. It’s my mother, I guess she figured I wasn’t beside her anymore. Her cane taps softly against the floor as she tries to make out where I was seated. I know she's coming to check on me, even though she can't see me but she can feel my presence and she tells me she smells me.
• “Mum, why are you up?” I asked standing up to meet her.
• “What's wrong, Bambito?” She asks, her voice laced with concern.
• I hesitate, unsure of how to respond. I don't want to burden her with my troubles, and besides, I'm not even sure I can put them into words. So I say nothing.
• The silence hangs between us like a heavy curtain. My mother's ears are as clear as day since her sight isn’t working perfectly, it’s as if her clear hearing is a compensation for her lack of sight. She listens for the slightest tremble in my voice, the softest sigh, she can even hear my heart beating fast.
• “Anastasia, why aren’t you sleeping?” She asked, her voice gentle but insistent. “Something's bothering you. Tell me please.”
• I still say nothing, trying to filter my thoughts to calm down.
• I know she won’t back off till she gets it out of me.
• “Are you sure everything's okay?” She asks again, her tone softening.
• “Sí, mama, everything is fine. You don’t have to worry, I guess my insomnia is coming back, that's all,” I responded, trying to put her mind at rest.
• But she doesn't believe me. She knows me too well. She takes a step closer, her hands extended, seeking reassurance.
• “Bambito , you can tell me. Whatever it is, we'll face it together. Are you having those nightmares again?” She asked.
• My mum knew about my nightmare in the past and it worried her so much and I won’t want her worried again.
• “No mama, it’s the insomnia coming back. I stopped having those nightmares years ago,” I told her quickly.
• “Are you sure?” She asked again obviously knowing I’m lying.
• “Yes mama, you worry too much.” I said. My mum worried about everything, that's why I didn’t tell her he called. She must not know about it.
• “Hmmm, okay. I won’t push it,” she said.
• “Thanks mama,” I replied, squeezing her hands that are still holding me.
• Her words wrap around me like a warm hug. I feel a lump form in my throat as I struggle to hold back tears. Maybe I should tell her. Maybe sharing my burdens would lighten the weight but I know better, I know it’ll weigh her down.
• For now, I just nod, hoping she'll understand. She holds my hand in the darkness and gives it a gentle squeeze back.
• “Let’s go back to bed,” she said, as we pulled away from the hug.
• “I don’t think I can go back to sleep, it’ll be morning soon anyways so I better start preparing for work early.” I said.
• “It’s too early Anastasia, it’s not like your work permits you to close early,” she complained.
• “Actually mum, I’m thinking I should stick to the permanent night shift.” I said, scratching my head knowing fully well she’ll be against it.
• “Why would you do that?” She asked.
• “I heard they pay staff on night duty a lot more and come with huge tips too.” I said, knowing fully well that’s not the reason.
• “But you know….” She hadn't completed her sentence when we heard a knock on our door.
• I shook under my mom’s hands and fear gripped me immediately.
• Who could be knocking in the middle of the night?