Chapter 3 When I Woke Up

• When I woke up, my head hurt. I didn't know why, as I didn't touch alcohol. Maybe it was because I spent a long time thinking about what had happened yesterday.
• The image of Anthony in the dark, almost screaming my name, stuck in my head. He looked like someone else, one I didn't know yet.
• I never had a relationship with any other boy because I was more quiet and shy. I've caught myself having weird and inappropriate dreams about my older cousin, one of those times was last night.
• It was strange and disturbing, because it wasn't like the other times. Anthony was not the affectionate man, but the dark one that frightened me with his fury. The problem was, I wasn't that scared of him. It actually turned me on.
• Craziness.
• After my father died, I believe I acquired a senseless paranoia and it was even affecting my sleep.
• Anthony was not this evil person who would arrest and torture me. Despite his change in attitude towards me yesterday, my cousin was still the person I trusted the most.
• I got out of bed feeling that the night hadn't been enough for my tiredness to end.
• The day would be full as soon as he set foot in the university. There was a big job to be done and I hated leaving things to the last minute.
• I took a relaxing shower, getting ready to go straight to college. It was still early and that meant my sister was still sleeping.
• I couldn't say I hated Becca, she was my sister and the only one still here besides Anthony. Maybe his problem with me came from the resentment of our father who separated from his mother to marry mine.
• Dad and I were close, and after my mother died of cancer, he slowly drifted apart, but we were still flesh and blood.
• I knew it bothered Becca. She always showed her dislike for me and after our father passed away it became more evident.
• In order not to end up fighting with her, I chose to leave earlier and not be home when she was. It was clear that we had to solve this problem between us, even more so now that it was just us.
• I walked down the white stairs that had golden banisters, giving the entrance an impression of royalty. Our father, Dominic Goldner, was known to love to lavish luxury and power. When my mother was alive, they had grand parties with many guests who praised the beauty of the place.
• He said that I had drawn her beauty and delicacy, but not the glamorous way that Elisabete loved to live.
• Even though my family has a lot of money and properties around the world, I never liked wasting our money on unnecessary things, just for the sheer pleasure of it.
• I hated attention. When I had to be the center of attention, which thank God there were few times, I felt like I was naked in front of everyone.
• "Aren't you having coffee?" asked Meredith. The woman had worked here since I was born and when my mother died, she was the one who practically raised me. "You're already too thin, I don't want you to feel sick while studying."
• She usually didn't drink coffee and that irritated the woman who had gray hair and brown eyes. She acted like she really was my mother and that was welcoming. I approached her and kissed her forehead affectionately. Her authoritative eyes judged me without even saying anything.
• "I'll have something in the college canteen, you know I can't be late." I spoke.
• She looked at me suspiciously and put her hands on her hips like she always did when she was going to challenge me.
• "I know you don't want to see Rebeca, but you can't leave the house without eating anything. Do you want the wind to carry you like a feather?"
• I laugh at her joke knowing she wasn't a joke at all. Meredith loved to use her sarcasm in any situation.
• "I am not going." She said before opening the door and leaving.
• It was silly to run away just because I didn't want to run into my asshole sister, but it saved me a terrible day and a bad mood.
• When I was younger they said I could be whatever I wanted, just because I had a photographic memory and could learn quickly. However, when I turned fifteen I discovered my passion: literature.
• The course wasn't something as brilliant as medicine, law or engineering, but I was passionate about books. When I opened a book, the world around me changed completely, taking me to another reality. I could say that I saw myself in every character I read and that made me open my mind to other things.
• When I got to university, I hardly had time to buy a Starbucks coffee and a hearty piece of cake. Mere could even imagine that my thinness was due to lack of food, but in fact I was like an ant that loved to devour everything that was sweet or salty.
• I was the student who sat in front to better understand the subject, even though I already knew what it would be. It was hard to make friends, and I didn't even know how I had managed to become friends with Eva. She was the complete opposite of me: she wasn't afraid of anything, commanded attention, was always dressed in sexy clothes, and had no trouble making friends with anyone. Sometimes I envied her.
• I was starting to write a novel, the problem was a lack of relationship experience. Of course I knew the theory of the thing, because as already said, I loved reading books, but I knew that for a good novel the author should know what she was writing about and I had no idea of much.
• As usual, as soon as classes were over, I went straight to the large library at the university where I studied. The librarian already knew me from so much that I attended.
• The hours seemed to fly when I was snuggled in an armchair reading a good book. Since I was already early, I didn't have to worry about the work I had to hand in next week.
• When I looked at the time it seemed like days had passed. I left the place almost running. It wasn't like I was going anywhere important, but I had promised Mere I'd be there by six. She will be sixty-seven years old, and I wanted to cook a small dinner for two. The woman did so much for me, things that weren't a duty for her, because the love she gave me was real, and that was rare to find.
• When the taxi dropped me off at the door of the mansion, I didn't dare enter. Luckily the housekeeper had her own house on the Goldner property, but when I arrived she was gone. Everything was dark and silent. I thought it strange, because we had agreed.
• Apparently I would have to go into the house and run into Becca and listen to a few more jokes that she insisted on saying even after years of living together.
• The most puzzling thing was that even the kitchen was empty and silent. It felt like everyone had moved on and left me behind.
• I was already discouraged, and when I reached the entrance hall, the image of Becca only made me think that my night was going to be bad.
• Maybe people were right to say that I should go out more, but as proven yesterday, I wasn't the type of person to go to parties and party.
• "Did you think you'd run away from me forever?" Questioned her with her typical pose of superiority.
• I couldn't deny that Rebeca was a beautiful woman, she could have been a top model, but she decided to opt for marketing. Her dark hair fell over her firm shoulders, her upturned nose was the result of plastic surgery, which wasn't the only one she'd had.
• Rebeca loved to wear chic clothes of the current fashion, along with glamorous and expensive jewelry, molded in gold and diamond.
• She also had the self-assurance and determination I so desperately wanted. Of course, I would leave out the arrogance and self-centeredness, but deep down, I wanted to be more like her. At least I wouldn't be so afraid of an older sister who hated me just for existing.
• "What do you want?" I questioned, letting my tired shoulders slump. He had already given up and would probably let her bullshit go in one ear and out the other. "I'm tired, I don't want to hear anything you have to say about me that might make me even more tired."
• She looked at me like I was the worst person in the world and stopped me from going upstairs. I found the way she was acting strange, that added to the fact that there was no one else in this house besides me and her, it made me suspicious.
• Her light eyes were dark with anger. I wasn't surprised, since very young Rebeca had looked at me with disdain. As a child, she once locked me in dark, dirty places, just to make me scared. Even though our father punished her after that, she did it anyway, and the punishments only increased her hatred of my presence.
• "Is tired?" She questioned irritably, pushing me against the wall. I banged my head and thought about complaining, but she pinched my cheeks with her long, sharp nails. "I'm tired, Ellen. Tired of hearing you, seeing you and sharing everything I have with you, even my father." I always knew her hurt, her actions made that clear, however, she had never hurt me like this. I felt bad that my sister didn't like me because of that. Daddy was never the best man in the world, and after Elisabete died, I found out that he only broke up with Becca's mother because he cheated on her with mine. "You're annoying. A sucker like your mother."
• "Becca, I know you are…" I tried to say, but she squeezed my skin harder.
• "ENOUGH!" I didn't want to be afraid of her. Despite being a witch, I doubted that she would do me any physical harm, however, she was capable of anything, as my skin burned with her grip. "I don't want to hear your voice or your thoughts, moans or sighs anymore. My father is dead and I don't have to put up with anything that has to do with you."
• "What are you saying?" I questioned pushing her hard and trying to hold back the tears that burned on my face. "I am your sister, after all."
• The look she gave me was frightening and her smile was almost psychotic.
• "You are a rat that sucks the energy out of this house, even from Dad who died because of you."
• "He had a heart attack." I whispered, no longer holding the weight that was in my eyes. "Why is he doing this?"
• "I want you out of this house now!" He spoke pointing his long red fingernails at me. "I'll give you a good amount so you don't have to give me a headache in the future. I'll pay for college and after that you should disappear from my life.
• I was ecstatic hearing this nonsense. "
• "I don't need your handouts." I said still crying and sobbing. She hated appearing weak, but it was impossible not to be affected by the mean words she had just unleashed. "If you think I'm a sucker, I should inform you that I'm not. Unlike you, I don't need luxury to live. I have enough money to pay for my college, don't worry about it."
• The truth was, I should have left this house the day after we buried our father. She always mistreated me and made her hatred for me clear, but I decided to push that problem with my belly because of Mere and the memories I had in this house.
• I ran up the stairs still in tears. I had lost everything, my parents and now my home. It didn't matter how much luxury it had, but it welcomed me on cold nights and protected me from the rain.
• As soon as I entered my room, I called Eva to ask her for help. She lived alone, but she knew that her yo-yo boyfriend lived there too, however, she didn't intend to stay at his house for more than one night.