Chapter 4 Reckless

• Reckless
• 🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍
• I usually avoid parties. That explains the surprised faces when they see me there. Riley says it’s because I look stunning. I catch up with some old acquaintances I know from race competitions in town.
• Finally, the three of us stand there while West talks about his plans for the next match. He could talk all day long about his upcoming game as if he doesn't spend enough time with his playing, practicing and planning with his team. At Least there is something that makes him happy.
• After a while, Norris calls out his name, “Hey WEST! Look who’s here?”
• We turn and West laugh, “Oh my Fucking GOD!”
• He walks over to Norris.
• “Who’s that?” Riley asks me.
• I glance in the direction and ask who?
• “That Muscular tall boy…”
• Then I spot him.. Standing next to Norris. I sigh.
• “I wish I had that kind of tanned skin..”
• She laughs. “You are perfect the way you are.” I snort. Mom says that alot. I find it hard to believe.
• “I am seeing him for the first time? West seems close to him”
• I look at him again. She is right.
• “I don't know..May be on the team.”
• After That I spent the rest of my time sitting in a corner with Riley, enjoying my drink, pondering my plans for the night. I am a little anxious about my talk with West.
• “Let’s go for games over there” She eyes a corner with beer pong going on.
• “Shoot!” I say instead, as I notice Norris heading towards us. Riley grins as she follows my gaze.
• “Care for a dance, Natalie?” He asks. I glance at the dance floor. There is barely any space to stand, let alone dance. The thought of sweaty bodies makes me shudder.
• “I... I cannot leave Riley alone...”
• Please back me up, Riley... Save me...
• “Oh, don’t worry! I have to use the restroom,” and just like that she takes off.
• Talk about a back-stabbing bitch.
• But soon my annoyance fades. Because I have to say I actually enjoy my time dancing with Norris.
• “I am glad you came tonight... Made my night better.” He says after a while, leaning in and closing the distance. His words make me feel bad about leading him on. If I make my relationship with West public, such situations wouldn’t arise.
• As I glance at my watch and notice Riley has been gone for too long. I excuse myself from Norris to call her. When she doesn’t answer, I call West. He doesn’t answer either. After a while, I finally notice them going out of the house together. I call them again but they cannot hear me because of the damn music. I follow them out in confusion. Are they leaving without me?
• As I follow them outside, I ignore that West is pulling her closer and His hands wandering all over her waist. As they near his car, he turns her towards himself. His hands tracing her body, finally reaching her face. I know what’s about to happen. I know I am not prepared to see this. But still, I freeze in my spot as he cups her cheeks and kisses her. I tear my gaze just in time. But not before I see him fumbling to open the door to get them in the back seat. The same spot where I and West made love so many times.
• I rush back inside, But I can’t unsee what I saw. My mind cannot stop concluding the obvious. They have been sleeping together…
• It wasn’t their first time.
• Riley wasn’t shocked or reluctant.
• I rarely join them at parties. They probably do this often. God knows for how long…
• So many emotions hit me at once. Doubt, shame, confusion... I feel ugly and worthless. I grab a drink or two to numb myself and stare at a blank space on the wall trying to process the betrayal and heartbreak I am feeling right now.
• How could he do this? That too with Riley? How would he feel If I slept around with his friends? I look around in frustration trying to spot someone. Someone close enough to West who can make him hurt the way I am hurting right now.
• As I go for another drink, I hear a voice behind me.
• “Go easy there...” Someone stands way too close to me. I glance towards him but don’t object. I have seen him at school but don’t know his name. West knows him. Probably he will work. I am afraid but maybe this is how West will notice that how he is ruining me… Day by day…
• “Why do you care? It might serve you some purpose.” I tell him while taking a gulp. He takes a hint and wraps his arm around my waist.
• “Good point!” He smirks. “But I don’t like sloppy girls in bed.” He closes the distance between us, if that was even possible.
• I know this is wrong, dangerous, and reckless, but somehow it seems irrelevant right now. As if nothing can hurt me as much as West has hurt me. As if sleeping with someone else will restore my self-worth. He steers me towards one of the bedrooms. As I walk with him I can feel my steps are not steady. I am way more drunk than I thought. But somehow I don't care about my safety right now. My head is reeling from all the memories I shared with West. Times when he told me I was beautiful. Times when he held me for hours. Times when he made me smile. We were meant to be together. We were meant to know each other better. But he is with someone else and I am about to do the same.
• He tries to open a door, but it’s locked. He takes me to a corner and pushes me against the wall and says, “I guess we will have to manage here for sometime…”
• He plants his lips on mine. I try to remember when West had kissed me last time. If this boy feels any better. I don't like how it feels right now. He pulls my dress up and pushes his hand into my panty and mumbles against my lips, "Let me wet your pussy while we wait…” I don’t react as if I am watching myself from a distance. I can imagine West doing the same to Riley too. Maybe even more.
• As he strokes my folds with his fingers, I cannot help but imagine if West is fucking Riley right now?
• Suddenly, a voice falls into my ears. “She’s drunk, you asshole! Leave her alone!”
• “She is my score. I wouldn't leave her without fucking,” the guy objects.
• It's Norris.
• “She isn’t going anywhere with you.” He pushes that guy away from me and pulls my dress down. Not sure who he is to make that decision for me, but words don’t come out of my mouth to raise an objection. Either I am too drunk to understand what they are arguing about or that guy lets me go easily. Norris grabs my hand and starts taking me out of the house. He says something, but I cannot make it out. I am fairly intoxicated and emotional to understand anything, and the music is deafening. My head pounds and I puke as we reach his car in the parking lot. He hands me a water bottle from his car. After a few minutes, I cannot help but glance towards West’s car. The thought of them still being in there sobers me up.
• “That was reckless, you know? Are you stupid or something?” Norris tells me.
• I am stupid indeed. They were probably hanging out together in the summer. Talking to each other and I thought they were just too busy to meet me. I was too stupid to connect the dots. To understand the obvious. Did West simply want to sleep with me? All those promises. All that trust. Was he simply lying? Is this what everyone wants?
• “Are you even listening to me?”
• “What do you want from me, Norris?” I look at him sharply.
• “What?”
• “Why are you so fucking nice? I don’t even pay attention to you. You must want something.”
• “Jesus!! I just saved you from that creep. Do you even know who he is?”
• For some reason, Norris confronting me reminds me of West. How he always finds faults in me. Especially when I am about to confront him. He always deflects. I am sure when I confront him tonight, he will somehow put blame on me. Probably will tell me I didn’t pick up his call last night or didn’t kiss him back tonight. The thought itself makes me furious. I know Norris isn’t at fault. He is the one who probably saved me, but him standing in front of me makes me angry at him. I have an urge to burst my emotions right now. The whole freaking summer break, the last week, and now finally this night! This cursed night! I have had so much anger simmering inside me for so long. It hurts so much. I want to hurt someone back.
• “Did you save me so you could fuck me? Or do you need a blow job here?” I glance around to imply the empty parking lot.
• He is taken aback at first, then shakes his head in disgust, “I was about to drop you home. But you know what? I don’t want a bitch in my car anymore!” He paces away but turns after a few steps. “I am calling West. Don’t go whoring around while you are drunk.”
• I chuckle dryly at myself. Such a gentleman. Tears finally come out of my eyes. I walk towards the park nearby to cry myself out.