Chapter 3 Party

• 2. Party
• 🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍
• West has been avoiding me. I know he was on vacation during initial week. But something was odd.
• After vacation, he told me his father was giving him a hard time, and he needed space. Then more and more excuses. Even though he never said anything to me, I tried to move on… But then he would breadcrumb and pull me back.
• He barely talks or texts these days, but doesn’t leave me alone either.
• So last night, I confronted him. I asked Why didn’t he call me? Why was his phone always busy? He asked if I was trying to spy on him. I was not! I just missed him. When called, his phone was busy.
• Every. Damn. Time.
• Doesn’t he miss me? In school, it’s formal between us, but at night, we used to talk about anything to everything. When my mind wanders to dark corners, I tell myself It’s just a rough patch. He opened his heart to me. Told me his troubles at home. I told him about my insecurities. He is always pushing me to do better. I am always there to support him.
• ‘We are better than that.’ He would tell me whenever we saw a couple fighting.
• I don’t agree, but don’t argue either. Fights are important sometimes. That’s why I pushed him to talk last night, but he yelled at me. I avoid confronting him, to avoid the silent treatment that comes afterward. It isn’t over.
• ‘We are better than that.’
• Our argument last night doesn’t matter.
• … …
• As I see West and Riley walk together into the class, a dread rises inside me. Did he pick her up from home today? Is he talking to her every night? If out of all the people in the world, he has chosen her over me, then I am sincerely screwed. A few nights ago, her phone was busy when I tried to call her. But that could be a fluke. It has to be. We were supposed to tell others about us after the summer break. He wouldn’t do that to me.
• Tears prickle my eyes as Riley and West come and sit next to me. I try to calm myself. I know I am probably overthinking. He is right. I just need to give him space. I am probably suffocating him. Maybe things are difficult at home again. He goes into a strange mood for weeks sometimes. It’s just that. I am sure. I have to talk to him. I manage to keep my tears at bay and we exchange pleasantries.
• “Are you coming to the party on Friday, Riley?” She nods. Then he asks me, “What about you, Nat?”
• I stare at his face as he talks so casually to me. Has he forgotten our argument? He doesn’t forget. It’s me who has to take a step to patch things up.
• Always.
• He would have answered my call and texts in the morning if he had forgiven me. There is nothing to forgive, though. Still, I need to subdue. I want to tell him NO. I won’t go with you anywhere unless we fucking communicate. Only because he is having a hard time doesn’t mean he has any right to give me hell, too. I want to show him I can live without him. But I wish I could believe it myself.
• “Yes, she is,” Riley answers instead. “Don’t you dare make excuses this time Nat,” She grabs my arm and tells me. “I will pick you up. You ain’t yourself lately.”
• She noticed. Doesn’t he see how miserable he is making me?
• … …
• I stare at myself in the mirror after getting ready for the Party. I am wearing a navy blue skin tight dress. I think it looks good. I take a pic and send it to Riley. I am not as beautiful as her. I need more effort to look better, but still, I am pleased with myself tonight. Riley often approves of my clothes. I have zero sense of clothing. It didn’t matter to me before. But now I am getting more and more antsy about my looks. West isn’t exactly kind with his words. He claims to be straightforward, but he doesn’t realize he comes off rude sometimes. He doesn’t notice how his words cut deep. But I guess it happens when you have a shitty family.
• Last week wasn’t any different. West has been talking to me at school. But it’s superficial. As if ‘us’ before summer break didn’t exist. He called me last night after missing all my calls on previous nights. Took me all my strength to not answer his call. Because I am planning to talk to him tonight. Face to face. We need to make things official if he wants to keep this thing between us. I cannot take this secret bullshit anymore.
• Riley: ‘You look awesome. My efforts are paying off :) I’ve a better idea about ur hair. I will redo it’
• Me: ‘literally blushing…’
• Riley: ‘We will reach ur place in five.’
• We? Is she coming with West?
• I look at myself in the mirror again. A wave of mixed emotions hit me. I should have picked his call last night. But he ignored me for weeks. Isn’t it fair for me to ignore him for once? I take a deep breath to calm myself. West’s car pulls over in our driveway and mom sends them upstairs.
• Riley squeals as she sees me and hugs me tight.
• “You look wayyy better than the pic.” She gives me a pointed look. It’s her way of saying ‘Your selfie skills are shit.’
• “Not better than you!” I roll my eyes. No one in our whole class looks as fabulous as her. She looks gorgeous without any effort. God save us when she puts in an effort.
• “She gave you a compliment. Just fucking take it, Nat!” West comes next to me and gives me a side hug, smiling and kisses my temple. Just like that, it melts my heart. It’s a platonic thing we often do. But still, It makes me feel better. I have been yearning for his affection. Once Riley is done with my hair, she goes to use the washroom. West stands next to me, looking at my reflection in the mirror.
• “You look good tonight. You should do it often,” He says, rubbing my back.
• I turn my head to see if he is being honest. He leans in for a kiss, but I turn my face to let it fall on my cheek.
• “I need to talk to you,” I mumble.
• He sighs. “Yes. It’s due. Let’s talk after the party.” He gives me a tight smile, moving away from me. I nod.
• Riley comes out, and we head out for the party. Riley is super excited. Her energy is infectious tonight. It’s difficult to stay somber around her. Past week she tried her best to cheer me up.
• “It’s been really long since we three hung out together,” Riley says as we sit in the car.
• She is right. We used to have so much fun together before the summer break. Long drives. Random picnics and whatnot.
• “Let’s make the most of tonight,” I say, smiling.
• “Norris gonna drool all over you?” Riley smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.
• “Oh, please!” I scoff.
• “What is wrong with him? He is cute.” Nothing is wrong. I am just not available. I glance at West.
• “Seriously, give him a chance, Nat,” West says.
• I try to hide the surprise on my face and look at him sharply, trying to figure out if he is the same guy who was rubbing my back, leaning in for a kiss barely five minutes ago.
• I take a deep breath and try to ignore the constant dread hovering over me for the past few weeks. I tell myself he is teasing me in front of Riley. That’s all it is. Then I turn on the music and look out of the window.
• I need to be calm. I will enjoy myself tonight.
• After the party, we will talk anyway.
• … …… …… …… …… ……
• 🤍🖤💜 Jacob 💜🖤🤍
• … …… …… …… …… ……
• “You seem off today!” Norris asks as I get out of the locker room and walk towards the parking lot. He is on my hockey team.
• “It’s nothing,” I say.
• Truth is I am tired of Sadie following me around. She came to see me practice today. I ignored it at first but now she is being creepy as fuck and has been literally harassing my female friends. I want to be somewhere where I don't have to see her face. Just for once for God’s sake.
• “What are you guys doing in the evening today?” I ask him.
• “Going to a party but it's far from here. I mean near our school.”
• We are not in the same school.
• “Send me the address I will join you guys,” I say as I hop in my car.
• … …
• In the evening, I take some extra precautions to make sure Sadie doesn’t follow me. Then I take a cab to the location Norris sent me.
• “I will have to find some permanent solution for this…” I tell Hanna while talking to her over the phone. She is my childhood friend.
• “She will not leave you alone unless you find a new girl… You are not dating someone so she thinks she still has a chance,” Hanna says.
• She is the only one who knows that this overall situation with Sadie is starting to wear me out. It's been more than a month and Sadie isn't leaving me alone.
• “It’s not easy for me Hanna you know that…” I say in a resigned voice.
• Something is so so fucking wrong with me. I don’t get interested in girls easily.
• And No.
• I don't get interested in boys either.
• “Yea yeah I know…” She dismisses me, “Shame though.. My friends keep asking me to set them up with you… Some even said they wouldn't mind you know… ahem ahem… a night.. or A hookup may be.”
• My face wrinkles. Idea of having sex or hook ups in general makes my skin crawl. I would rather like to know someone. Maybe go on a few dates.
• Know someone before you fuck guys!
• Come on!
• Although, I find it shameful to admit it openly. This is not how boys behave.
• “Anyway, try to loosen up today.” She says.
• I cut the call as my cab reached the party location.
• “FINALLY!” Norris exclaims and I laugh.
• My house is so far away, I usually don't make it to the parties they throw or attend. Apart from hockey practices I do not get many chances to mingle with my hockey team. He drags me along with him to meet everyone on the team and some of their friends.
• I am glad I came here.
• “Where is West?” I ask him.
• Norris turns and calls out his name, “Hey WEST! Look who’s here?”
• I glance in his direction and I see West standing with two girls. The tall girl in A blue dress gets my attention. I am not sure if it's her Brunette hair or her smooth white skin. She is looking at West intently, listening to what he is saying. I think I have seen her before.
• Maybe at matches?
• West turns and comes towards us leaving the girls behind. I feel disappointed. I wish he had introduced us to the girls instead of leaving them behind. I get busy talking to everyone, when I glance back I see the girls have disappeared somewhere.
• It's good for a change. I am getting interested in a girl. I think to myself ruefully.
• Soon one by one most of my friends leave to get busy with their girls and I spend my time with the rest of them playing beer pong. The Brunette haired girl lingers in my mind so I stay around in hopes to see her again.