Chapter 42

• I didn’t know I would have doubts about Aaron again until Siobhan’s words. I tried not to let them affect me and was only successful to an extent. I couldn’t drive out the thoughts planted by Siobhan’s doubts many of which came from my own insecurities. I’ve been second to Siobhan for way too long that being the second option became the new normal for me. Never has a guy seen me then her and gone for me. Now, why should Aaron?
• They had a fling once after all, right? And if I recall, when Aaron’s dad threw an after-party after his Oscar win one time ago, Siobhan was invited. If she hadn’t invited me to come along I wouldn’t have gotten any invites, who would invite the daughter of a nobody after all? But we ended up not going because her mom thought we were too young for a night of wild drinking and dancing with older people who might take advantage of us – but that’s beside the point. The point here is, Aaron told me when we initially resumed that he always liked me and thought he never deserved me. Now, do I believe that? The words of a guy I only just started seeing as a friend?
• I know Siobhan has my best interest at heart which was why her words kept coming back to me no matter how much I tried to keep them away. Somehow, I ended up avoiding Aaron without even realizing I was doing that. It wasn’t until he cornered me in the hallway while I was coming back from Coach’s office to check the schedule for our practice that I realized that he was aware that I was avoiding him.