Chapter 288

• While sitting there, I thought about my own situation again. If I really was that drawn to let others think for me, I needed to figure out how to better assert myself. I decided to start better analyzing the interactions I was having with people, and see where it might lead me.
• I went back to my parents' house for the night, and saw the divorce packet sitting on the desk again. I decided right then, if Matt really wanted to go through with it, then I would give it to him. I had been the one that screwed up, even though I still wished I could take it back. I just wished he could find it in his heart to forgive me, and see that he was supposed to be in my life.
• The next night, I brought the signed papers with me, and left them at his house when I went home. I had to start thinking of my old house as his place now, if I was going to have any hope of moving on. I would still go visit the kids and be friendly to Matt, but had to be prepared for the hammer to fall when the divorce would be final. According to the letter from the lawyer, it would be likely about three to four months until it was final, if I didn't fight the terms. I did get in my bed that night and cry.