Chapter 47 Grey Sky

• The ointment concocted by the court physician was extremely healing, and after only one day I could not see a single scar on my face. But my heart still ached vaguely, and I shut myself up in my room, refusing to take a step outside. I was afraid to face all the people in the court, and I did not want to see their strange eyes. Sometimes I wonder if rumors of my fornication are already circulating, if even the servants are discussing it in private. Am I now branded a slut in everyone's eyes! The more I think of it, the more I am disturbed, and the more I am frightened!
• For the first time, I felt so close to death. All my pride and self-conceit gave way to fear. Turns out I was not so brave as I thought, I chickened out, I shrank into my shell like a turtle and pretended not to hear anything! I know I am making a fool of myself, but it is the best I can do. The fear that King Nick had given me had taken its toll on my psyche! I hate him, but I hate myself even more! Because I chose of my own free will to come to this court, I chose to face a pack of wild beasts alone for the sake of those I loved. Maybe that's why Leon keeps training me. He wants me to be strong, strong enough to stand with him. But is this really what I want?
• William's words echoed in my head again, each one becoming a whisper that disturbed my thoughts. I'm conflicted again!