Chapter 7

• After I felt emotionally numb for several hours I decided to call the doctor and had scheduled an appointment for the same day.
• Taking yet another pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy had to be one of the most difficult things I had ever done.
• Hearing the baby was the size of a blueberry was enough reason for me to ignore the doctor all throughout my first ultrasound. I used to dream of this moment and had expected it to be a bit different, but it was the complete opposite. I was devastated.
• I did not know how to ask for a referral to an abortion clinic but I managed to do it. If I removed the baby now, I wouldn’t get too attached to the idea of something living inside of me. Right?
• Yes, that was what I was going to do. I was going to live my life and move on as if nothing happened and after I got rid of the baby, everything would go back to normal, there was no reason for me to be stressed and that’s why I had decided to go to work as usual. 
• I didn’t want an abortion. What I truly wanted was to raise my child and have something completely of my own which I could love and treasure. 
• Despite it not being the first time, the idea of stripping while a tiny human loved inside of me made me sick, and was definitely not something I was going for. “Enzo,” I called out before he got the opportunity to close the door to his office. He turned around with frowned eyebrows and a big smile on his face. He was probably happy because I had approached him for the first time in the half-year I had worked here and that for once it was not the usual other way around. “Do you think you can schedule me behind the bar for tonight?” 
• Enzo guided me to his office and closed the door. He repeated the same routine as yesterday and held his hand against my forehead, as if he was trying to find something. “Are you sick again?” 
• “No, I mean yes, maybe a little but I can still work...just not dance.” I lied to his face. It wasn’t exactly a lie but it was far from the truth. Enzo grabbed a map and scrolled through it before he closed it and threw it on his desk.
• “You know what, I’ll talk to my brother, you go ahead.” He smiled while guilt washed over me. Gio was a difficult person to talk to and extremely strict which is why I went to Enzo in the first place.
• “Are you sure? Because if it’s not possible that’s also fine by me.” I asked while I tried to play nice and hoped for him to ignore my words, which he luckily did. “Yes, go ahead it’s fine.” 
• There was no need to mention it a third time, because I already took in his words and turned around to leave but before I could, I bumped against a chest as hard as stone and knew exactly who it belonged to. “Is this some kind of habit of yours?” Christian spoke as he pushed me back. 
• “I-I’m so sorry.” I stuttered while I lowered my head as usual. “Now that you’re here anyway, Squirrel is going behind the bar tonight, she’s still sick,” Enzo told Christian. It must’ve been a relief for Enzo, because it meant he didn’t had to ask Gio—but seeing Christian in front of me made me feel even more terrible. “Look at me.” He spoke in the same demanding tone he always had and forced me to look up at him. 
• He observed me as he walked a circle around my body, while I tried to remain my calm. “You still look like shit,” Christian concluded. Yes, I do, and it’s because I’m carrying your baby. 
• “So it’s okay?” Enzo double-checked. At times it surprised me how he respected Christian, he was older than him but the rules were clear as Lucio had told them. Christian was in charge, them Gio and at last Enzo.
• “You can let the girls dance around a campfire for all I care, do whatever you feel like doing.” He shrugged, and pushed a file into Enzo’s hand. He sounded so unbothered. Was that what he was going to say when I would tell him I was pregnant? You and the baby can dance around a campfire. 
• “I only came to give you the file.” Christian told his brother before he gently placed his hand behind my back. I froze up for a second and looked at him as I felt confused at what he was doing. “I’ll take you to the bar, come on.” He spoke to my surprise.
• I didn’t refuse or push him away, and just went along with it as he walked me through the hallway which led to the club. Many of the girls gave me dirty looks and couldn’t stop staring at his hand which was still behind my back. What would they even do to me once they found out I was carrying his baby? 
• The club was still closed, meaning also all of the girls who were already in the lounge had turned to give me a dirty look. On a normal day I wouldn’t mind because I knew Luna and Faith would protect me, but today was their day off so I was all alone.
• “Anthony!” Christian called out as he opened the door to the large kitchen. I had only been there once and that was when I had just started out. I remember it like yesterday and could not forget how Lucio pulled me away, because he thought I’d be more fir for this job instead. Stripping paid better so at that time it was out of option for me. 
• The moment Christian walked in, all the staff stopped whatever they were doing and perfectly lined up like obeying dogs. “Hey, what are you doing out here?” The guy who had appeared from behind a wall asked him as slowly observed me.
• “This is Serena, she will be helping out here temporarily, take good care of her, don’t let her wash any dishes, don’t give her any difficult tasks, and be nice. If I hear one complaint you’re fired!” Christian announced. Everyone nodded their head in unison and quickly walked off to get back to work, while Anthony stood in front of me.
• Temporarily, I asked if I could work here for just this day because I was afraid of pushing it, but here he was doing it for me instead. The thing I liked the most would be that he was calling me by my name. Other than Lucio that was something which did not happen very often. Something about ‘squirrel’ was bothering me.
• “So we meet again.” Anthony smiled and gave me a handshake. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” 
• “You better.” Christian spoke before he turned around and placed both hands on my shoulders. “You are not a good listener, are you? I told you to stay at home.” He spoke in an irritated tone. I kept my mouth shut and stared at him, while Christian who realized that he was not going to get an answer, removed his hands and took his exit. 
• “So, let me show you what you can do.” Anthony clasped his hands before he gave me instructions. The only thing I had to do for the night was cut up some lemons and some other fruits which was nothing special and extremely boring but at least I was getting paid. I might not be getting the tips I was used to, but I would at least be able to pay my rent. 
• Quite some time had already passed and my arms were starting to get numb, but the last thing I could do was complain. I wasn’t even supposed to be back here so I had no right to complain. 
• “Squirrel, you’re dismissed!” Anthony called out. I was shocked and dropped the knife, so I could turn around. “Dismissed? I at least had three more hours to go before my ending time. 
• “Boss’ orders.” Anthony shrugged. I gave him an awkward nod, before I gathered all of my stuff and made my way out the backdoor. Leaving early did just not come to my advantage considering the uber I had scheduled. Perhaps I should suck it up and take the car next time.
• I made my way to the garage and was just about to schedule another appointment.
• “Serena?” A voice called out. I turned around and looked at a man who stood next to the car, before I took a step back. It was dark but it was not difficult to recognize him. It was the driver of the Lamberti brothers, but how did he knew my name?
• “Yes?” 
• “Boss told me to make sure you get back home safe, let’s go.” He spoke as he opened the door. Getting a free ride home and not having to pay for an uber was something which he didn’t have to tell me twice so I didn’t ask any questions and got in. 
• But why? 
• Why was Christian taking such good care of me? 
• I looked down at my flat stomach and thought about how life could’ve been like. Did I misjudged him? If I told him the truth would he take responsibility and help me raise our child? 
• No, of course, he wasn’t. 
• He already told me that Lucio had ordered him to look after me. He already told me that he cares for all his employees well being and I was definitely not a special case. There was no way he would end up accepting me or the child. He came from a rich family with mafia ties and someone like me did definitely not fit into the picture and besides that, I would not even feel safe bringing a child into that life. I decided to let go of my crazy thoughts, because the right thing would’ve been to to ignore it. These people were dangerous, I didn’t want to get too involved with these people and this was not a fairytale. 
• What if I kept the baby, only for Christian to force me to give it away? Ordering people around wasn’t anything new to him.
• Would I even win a court case like that? 
• I felt a slight dizziness in my head and closed my eyes. “Are you alright, miss?” The man behind the wheel spoke. I gave him a nod and shrugged him off. “Yes.”
• I had only gone to work for a few hours, but I felt like giving up. It wasn’t just the work but also the music and the lighting. It was all too much for me. Even if I were to keep this baby, I had to find another job and had to do it as soon as possible.
• If I was going to keep this baby, I would give it the life it deserved with or without a dad. 
• If was going to keep this baby, I would do it on my own so no one could steal it away from me...