Chapter 32 Dare's Turmoil

• Dare returned to his Penthouse feeling dejected with himself. He sat down on the sofa and stared off into space for what seemed like hours, lost in a self-deprecating spiral. His eyes were rimmed red from crying, but he didn't have any tears left to shed. He didn't even know if he should cry anymore. He felt empty inside, devoid of emotions and feeling as if some fundamental part of him had been ripped away by a cruel cosmic hand or something equally awful. The world was nothing but an emptiness that ate at his being until there was nothing left. It was a bleak grayness, as gray as death itself. There wasn't much light left in existence because the sun burned all the colors out of everything except darkness, and it made the dark world even darker. He felt numb in every way imaginable. He wanted to curl up into a ball and never move ever again. To die.
• He could do that too, right now. The thought made him smile. His mouth curved upwards as he let out a small chuckle. He was being melodramatic again. He always did this when he was upset. He would laugh, then he would be depressed, and he would laugh some more. Was it madness? Well, who can say? It certainly felt like he was losing his mind. Or maybe it was just the depression talking. Whatever it was, it made him want to cry again, to break into ragged sobs that made him feel like a broken record player. He wondered how many times he had fallen apart like this over the years. Was it really worth it? Couldn't he go back to living normally, back to how it was before that cursed night? Was it so hard to do? Mariana had broken him when she said she had seen his past.
• Was it true or just a bluff? Whichever it was, he knew he must be wary of that Witch. If she has truly seen into his past, then she could use that against him. He did not wish for that to happen. For him to be manipulated by that heartless witch. Who knew what she could do to him with that knowledge? For once in his life, he felt weak, and not in control and he likes being in control. Now, Mariana might just be in on his darkest secret, his weakness. A part of him wanted, no, needed to believe she bluff him when she made that statement, but she is a Scarred Witch and there are no limits to how far they can go. And if she knew, then it was time he told someone about it, someone other than Leon, maybe the Fox, but who could trust a Fox with such a secret? Is he not far worse than the Scarred witch? At least, he knew his fate with the Witch involved, but who could truly tell what goes on in the mind of a Fox? He got on his feet and reached for another bottle of rum, he didn't bother to pour it out into a glass, rather he drank straight from the bottle and paced his bedroom floor. The longer the hours ticked by the more restless he became.