Chapter 4 Not Me

• POV(HANNAH),
• I woke up very early and prepared for the interview. I didn't have breakfast and only did a slight touch-up of my makeup. I headed to NEXT IN, but on the way, a car zoomed past and splashed muddy water all over my dress. My white shirt and skirt were now dirty.
• I rushed back home to change the shirt but didn't have time to change the skirt. I was running late, but I didn't want to show up to the interview looking disheveled, which would definitely lessen my chances of getting the job.
• I arrived at the company on time and took a deep breath before entering. I took the elevator to the third floor, feeling the stares from the people downstairs.
• The hope of getting the job immediately vanished the moment I entered the interview center. It felt more like a beauty pageant than an interview. The applicants were all dressed extravagantly, and I felt like a needle in a haystack. I couldn't contain my fears as I took a seat at the end of the row.
• They were all applying makeup, not worrying about the tension of the impending questions.
• Amidst all the tension, I came in contact with Gwen, another applicant. She seemed less worried, not concerned about makeup or the work tension. She was calm and grinned ear to ear.
• I stole glances at her, and she caught me most of the time. After 3 minutes, she stood up from her seat and walked over to me. She looked neat and beautiful with minimal makeup. She had the perfect height and beauty that every lady wished for.
• She extended her hand, her palm spread, and smiled sheepishly. "Hi, I'm Gwen," she said, almost tearing her mouth apart with a smile.
• "Oh, I'm Hannah. Nice to meet you," I said. Almost immediately, we became friends. Gwen told me about her family and everything. It was obvious that she came from an affluent home and didn't really need this job. She was here for the interview because of her parents.
• Her father knew the CEO, so it wouldn't be a big deal for her to get the job. My heart sank as soon as I heard those words, and I urgently wished to tell her about my brother's health. She was someone who could give up the job for someone like me, but I didn't know if it would sound selfish to ask her.
• "Uhmm, Gwen, my..." I was about to say when I heard, "Number 53, you're next!" It was Gwen's turn. She sprang up and walked into the CEO's office. At that moment, I wanted to give up.
• Entering there meant everyone else here would fail the interview, including me. I wanted to leave, but my instincts pulled me back.
• Memories from 7 years ago came rushing back. I remembered how I was bullied because of my appearance. I had been called several names for being fat and ugly. I wanted to kill myself, and I even attempted it once. But it only got me into a lot of trouble, and I didn't dare try it again. It felt like I was suffocating to death. They would cover my head with a plastic bag and poke two holes with a needle for me to breathe. They would laugh and say things like I needed to weigh down.
• I felt life draining out of me. And just when I thought things would be right, they asked Ethan if they should let me leave. He gave me an awkward glance, as if he pitied me. I stared at him with trembling lips and teary eyes, my clothes and face wet, and mouthed, "Please help me." But he just smirked and looked away.
• That was his answer. That was all he needed to decide my fate. As I watched him leave, a bucket of cold, dirty water cascaded down my body, and my chin dripped with water.
• And my last memories with Ethan were when my diary somehow got to him. His friends read it aloud to the whole school, and I begged on my knees, crying. I had written about being in love with him and the silly poems. Ethan and I had been schoolmates since elementary school, but he never paid attention. We lived in the same area for 7 years before he moved, and he wasn't aware of it. I wrote about how I stole glances at him through my tiny window, how I climbed his fence to steal peeks of him eating, and even witnessed his embarrassing moments like singing. I discovered his secret of playing the guitar.
• All of this was revealed, and in his eyes was a look I couldn't understand. I didn't know if it was pity or something else I didn't understand.
• And just as he had always done, he walked away without sparing me a last glance. I was humiliated and embarrassed as I watched my years of love and memories torn into shreds before my eyes. All he could do was walk away. But even after all of that, I picked up the piecesand stitched them back together.
• Tears threatened to fall, but I held them back. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard, "Number 54, up next. Please come in!" It was my turn. Gwen walked out with a smile and said, "Good luck, girl," as she took the seat where I had been sitting.
• I took a deep breath as I was ushered into the office. I closed the door behind me, and there sat the CEO at his desk. His face was buried in the magazine he was holding, seemingly unaware of my arrival. I knocked on the door slightly, and he gently dropped the magazine, revealing his face.
• Ethan! It could have been anyone, but out of the billions of people on Earth, Ethan was chosen. He was my high school bully and crush, and also my first one-night stand. His hazel eyes were staring into mine, and I froze in an instant.