Chapter 67

• Astra wanted to die. It was not the first time she felt like that. When Astra thought about it, she wanted to die a lot of times in her short life. Maybe she was not meant to live then. Maybe she was born to die. She first wanted to die when she was a child. It was the issue with the dress and Charise, she felt so bad that she thought if she died no one would miss her. Her parents would not worry because they had Charise, they loved her more anyway. Astra never did anything about the need then. She wondered if she would have done something if she had the chance, maybe a drop of poison or a knife to her wrist. Both options sounded appealing to her at the moment, she would take any route, but Brian.
• There had been many thoughts throughout when she was a teenager to her adult life. Astra had been pretty depressed when Nicholas dumped her, but nothing came close to when she lost Brianna. Astra was not the one that started the fire but she would have not minded the fire burning her to death, if Brian was not with her. She was a terrible mother and she managed to kill the thing that was keeping her alive.
• Astra felt like that now. She felt like she wanted to die. She was more intentional than the other times though, she would actually do something this time. She was willing to pull the trigger and plunge the knife. Astra kept on hearing Ray’s voice in her head as he continuously told her that it was her fault.