Chapter 64

• ALEXIOS
• I wasn't sure what I expected to feel next. Perhaps I wanted the rush of emotions to overpower me. Perhaps I wanted to feel her around me once again. It was probably stupid but I had tried it. I grabbed a pillow and sighed whilst staring at the ceiling. I wondered if she was watching now. Selene, alleged mother of the night. The goddess who had done absolutely nothing for me. If she was watching, if she care at all, I wanted her to hear me.
• "I'm trying. I am not a silly defenseless child anymore. For years, I have done without your protection or your so called grace but if you can hear me... If you give two fucks about that innocent girl whose life is currently in danger, You'll give her back to me." I paused, breathing in. I waited, expecting something. A sign. It was either that or having to scout the cemetery for clues. But there was nothing. No miracle. No magic. It was just like I remembered. The goddess was fucking useless. I did want to get to my feet and get to work. I intended to find Lydia and keep her safe whether or not some woman in the heavens cared enough it not but still, something in me had faith. I wasn't even sure if devotion had anything to do with this. It was a desirous part of my thinking. My intuition, the gift I had choked down for so long resurfaced. I was afraid. While I would never acknowledge that to anybody. I couldn't keep such volatile truth from myself. I had been unstable since Vitale had mentioned that he was Loretta's second chance mate. That bond still existed between them both and none of that advantaged me. A part of me gaped at a possibly obvious truth. Perhaps the goddess was done with whatever future Lydia and I could have had. But it wasn't entirely my shortcomings. I had to throw that deity off her high horse. "It's not my fault you know. I was a teenager with a grudge. I was angry at everything and everyone. You didn't protect my father. Duncan's Luna didn't do much to stop her terror of a husband. When you made me Loretta's mate. I thought that was you shaming me. I honestly believed that was you telling me that I matter what I had managed to achieve on my own, I would forever be subservient to you. I just wanted to prove that I could be over a dormant goddess." I stopped again. The final words were caught at the back of my throat as the memories assaulted me. I had managed to overthrow the awful memories that had plundered my existence for only so long. Those repressed emotions came pouring like creeks. "...I guess you win. I guess I'm still a slave to the moon. I don't...Lydia to die. I don't want Fiona to be the monster she has always despised... I love them. I love them! So for once, listen to me. As selfish as my demands are, do it. Return our bond!"