Chapter 200 ~Brian regrets all~

• ~Brian regrets all~
• Once Brian got into the toilet he went straight to the sink, stared in the mirror for a few seconds, dragged his face in sorrow and broke down in tears. For the second time in his life he was falling out of love. And when he thought he was done with Kate in California he never knew a more gruesome fate awaited him in Miami. What other fate could be more gruesome than murdering a blood line; a cousin just because of what he felt for Ella; he had never regretted an action in his life and with what Ella did the other day, he doubted if he would ever finish strong; he wondered what fate awaited him in the end, and no matter how he pretended someday his sin would catch up with him. Ella had shown him her real color and he regretted all he had been through just because of her. He never expected the tides to blow hot at him this time. Countless times he had had recurring picture of the sin in his mind; how he smashed the head of his cousin with a log, thinking he was fighting for love not knowing he was fooling himself and keeping it down for a girl who was self centered and greedy. Yes he had suddenly learnt that all Ella wanted was her sexual satisfaction and nothing else. She did not care whether the police were after them for the murder they committed neither did she bother about onlookers, grandma or his father seeing them together as love birds. He had come to realize Ella’s uncontrollable urge for sex which could be the reason her husband behaved the same way.
• “I am so ashamed of myself now,” he said through sniffing as he turned on the tap to wash his dried face. But before he could do that his cheeks were already bathed with effortless tears that trickled down and dropped into the sink, “I am sorry, I am so…” he breathed uneasily, recalling and having flashes of his cousin being smashed by him at the time. “I never intended to kill you. Trust me,” he said, raised his gaze to the mirror and beheld his agonized face which seemed blown and tortured. “I only wanted to weaken you. Beside it was self defense. And I never knew you were my father’s cousin. Why would I kill a cousin? Why would I raise my hands to take the life of my cousin just because of a foolish bitch who doesn’t deserve anything good? I never intended to clubber your head to a mesh. Please forgive me wherever you are. I beg of you. The guilt is too much for me to bear. And with time if I can’t bear it any more I would have to report to the police, so that I and Ella can bear the consequences. I am tired of this life now. In my next world I would never fall in love neither would I kill a bloodline just because of love that doesn’t exist. Look at me now. The blood of a bloodline is hanging on my neck…” Brian paused once he overheard a shuffling walker, he sniffed deeply to dry his nostrils, wiped his tears before washing his face in the runny water. He found a towel on the hanger and dried it hastily.