Chapter 1

• NOLEN’S POV
• I woke up with a start, lips parted and ready to scream when the bright lights pierced into my eyes, causing me to squeeze them shut. I winced.
• That sudden pain was the reminder that I needed that I was no longer that 7-year-old kid balled up in the corner of a locked-up closet, terrified and praying that my mom would come rescue me.
• The pressure in my chest let up as I took in my surroundings very slowly. As sanity returned, I repeated the words I knew would chase the remnants of my terrifying dream away, the same words my father repeated when he rescued me and brought me back home; “You are safe now, Nolen, you are safe.”
• It’s been eleven years since Lurane Grant abducted me from elementary school, 12 years since I stopped being that weak little boy. But 12 years sizzled away to nothing but smoke every time I find myself in the dark. I cannot bear to be in a dark room. Darkness terrifies me.
• D*mn, I’ve started this story on a dark note.
• Contrary to everything you’ve just read, I’m not a dark, gloomy teen. Just don’t put me in a dark room and I’ll be fine.
• I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, pausing briefly to catch my breath when my thigh muscles screamed a protest.
• I winced.
• Yesterday, I finally exercised after a whole year. The reason for this is it’s been a year since I last went to school. As pathetic as it sounds, I had a breakdown after my second year as a senior, and it got so bad that mom and dad had to come pick me up when the nurses at school couldn’t manage to coarse me out of my balled-up position in the sports storeroom.
• What happened was, we had just finished football practice for the evening and, since I was part of the team cleaning up for the day, I was one of the last boys to leave. My partner, eager to go home for the night, had carelessly thrown the training cones and dummies we used for practice that day and said a hasty goodbye. I laughed at his impatience, shaking my head as I bent to arrange the mess. Coach would have our heads if he found the storeroom all messed up the next day because aside from teaching strength and endurance training, coach was also very particular about discipline.
• And so, while I was bent over the cones, stacking them up, one of the dummies tilted and fell over the door, slamming it shut.
• A normal reaction to that would be to get up, walk to the door and open it, or maybe even turn on the lights. But my immediate reaction was to run viciously for the door and slam my fists into it over and over again until my hands bled.
• I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Help me! Help me! Somebody!” as the darkness closed in all around me. In my mind’s eye, in my wild psychotic state, the darkness had hands, huge, black and long hands that threatened to tighten around my throat and squeeze the life out of me. The darkness had a form. It was Lurane Grant trying to kidnap me again.
• When I couldn’t scream anymore, I crumpled to the floor, hugged my knees to my chest and began to cry.
• A 6’2 highschooler crying like a baby on the floor. I wonder what the first person who came into the room thought when I lashed out at her after she tried to help me up. I must have clawed at her face, hissing because she shrank back in horror.
• No one could get me out of there, not even the cops. Until finally mom and dad came. It was mom’s face wet with tears that finally brought me back to the surface.
• I remember her warmth as she hugged me to her chest. I remember trembling against her, repeating; “She wants to take me away,” while pointing at the nurse whose face was now bleeding.
• Mom looked up at Dad helplessly before asking, “Who?”
• “Lurane Grant.”
• Mom nearly had a mental breakdown with me on the ground. It was Dad’s strong hands around us that finally pulled us to our feet. Without him there to support both of us, Mom and I would never have been able to get off the floor.
• I couldn’t return to school after that because mom immediately got me to see a therapist. Anyway, I didn’t have to be in school to know what the other students and the welfare staff who later had to call the cops thought about me: Nolen Pierce, star student and athlete of John Manheim High, was a psychopath.
• Anyway, I was able to get a permit to stay away from school for a year. It was the hardest year for mom and me. Dad was our rock, keeping us grounded. I know d*mn well that without Nolan Pierce there with us throughout what would turn out to be the hardest year of my life, mom and I would have given up. But as always, my dad is my hero and I love him so much. He is the perfect definition of a real man. My role model.
• As always, my bathroom light was turned on when I pushed the door inward. As part of my healing process, I keep my lights on, every one of them. Don’t worry about the electricity bills, dad’s a billionaire. Weird, but he got extra rich by taking over Douglas Grant’s properties. That’s the father of the woman who kidnapped me.
• I cleaned my teeth, turned on the hot water and took a bath. By the time I was done with that, mom was already calling for breakfast downstairs.
• “Nolen! Hurry up!”
• “Coming!” I shouted right back, forcing myself not to roll my eyes. I didn’t have to hurry for anything but trust mom to be on my neck on my first day of school.
• That’s right. After a year away from school, I finally decided that I was healed enough to return, but I didn’t want to go back to John Manheim. The last thing I wanted was to face my old classmates and teammates again. I really don’t think I would be able to face them and, thankfully, when I told Dad about it he was in full agreement. He didn’t think twice about enrolling me at Princeton. He has the money, he has the connections, so why not?
• My stuff was packed and ready downstairs because Princeton is a boarding school. I did choose it because of the assurance of privacy and the additional security. I know there’s no way Lurane or anyone can kidnap me again.
• Also, at Princeton my secret is safe, no one knows me and no one knows about my breakdown. No one ever has to know if I keep to myself and mind my business until graduation. Besides, it’s just for 9 months. How hard can it be to avoid other people for 9 months until I get my secondary certificate?
• “Nolen!”
• “I’m coming mom,” I called back. I found my shoes and went downstairs. Even before I got down the last stairs, my younger sister Desiree, named after dad’s mom, appeared around the stairs and poked my ribs, causing me to wince again. Yesterday’s workout was so intense that I was still sore even after a good night’s rest.
• “What the hell was that for?” I demanded, making a swipe at her, but she was faster, dodging my arm as she made her way to the dining room.
• Desiree looked over her shoulder at me and poked out her tongue, “Took you long enough to come downstairs. Mom sent me to come get you.”
• “Yeah, well, I’m here now, what the hell is your problem?”
• “Nolen!”
• Before I could react, my younger sister, one of the twins, came running out of the kitchen at me.
• “Nolen, Nolen, up!” Lily reached her arms up, her cute cherub face beaming with a wide smile as she jumped up and down for me to pick her up. As always, 6-year-old Poppy, her twin, was right behind her, and she too demanded to be picked up.
• “Nolen, up!”
• Laughing, I picked them both up and hugged them to my chest, kissing their faces while they giggled. “Making trouble for mommy already, aren’t you? And it’s barely even 9 in the morning yet.”
• Mom groaned in the kitchen. “I can’t wait until they start school.”
• “School!” Poppy shrieked excitedly, waving her cereal spoon in the air and sending milk flying everywhere.
• Mom groaned again and gave me a ‘You see?’ look. I laughed and let Lily and Poppy down so that I could grab a napkin and wipe the spilled milk off the table and floor.
• “Morning mom.”
• Mom came up to kiss my cheek. “Excited for school this morning?” she asked concern in her eyes when she pulled back.
• I shrugged, “Not particularly but…you know?” When I saw her brows dip with concern, I forced a laugh, “No one’s ever really excited about school though.”
• "Says the straight A student," Desiree rolled her eyes. "Nerd."
• I made a face at her.
• "Have you called Ursula?" Mom asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
• I held back my groan. "Mom, Ursula and I are just friends!"
• "I never said anything otherwise," She raised her hands in surrender, laughing.
• "But you implied it."
• Mom had a mischievous smile which then became wider when Dad walked into the kitchen kissing the twins and Desiree good morning before making a beeline for mom, kissing her fully on her mouth.
• Poppy and Lily squealed, clapping their hands in excitement while Desiree and I cast our gazes upwards, groaning. We’ve seen enough of Mom and Dad's lovey – dovey moments to last us a lifetime.
• Chantelle Pierce – formerly Chantelle Jones – is the most beautiful woman I know. We are lucky to have her. Dad is lucky to have her and, trust me, I know how much he loves her. I am ashamed to say it, but before Desiree was born, I walked in on them too many times while they were – you know, baking cakes – so let’s just say I am traumatized in more ways than one.
• But I count my blessings. I know I’m lucky to have parents who love each other and still blush and giggle around each other like high school kids.
• Dad whispered something to Mom, and she gasped, laughed and smacked his hand. “Nolan! You better hurry up. You have to drop Nolen off, remember?”
• “Don’t worry about me,” I raised my hands in mock surrender. “You guys go do whatever it is that adults do…”
• “Bake a cake,” Desiree chipped in.
• “Lick the icing,” I added.
• “Can I lick the icing too, mommy?” Poppy begged.
• Everyone burst out laughing.
• Mom made a face at me and Desiree as she bent to kiss Poppy’s curly hair. “No baby, this is not the kind of icing you want to eat.”
• “Eww!” Desiree gagged and made a face.
• “What? You both started it. How did you think you were born?”
• “Dad!” she laughed. “I don’t have to hear about it!”
• “We’ve seen enough of it already,” I laughed. And trust me I have. In the car, the kitchen – where our food is cooked for Christ’s sake! – in the living room…wherever there’s a space in this house, believe me, Mom and Dad have already been there doing the devil’s tango. I don’t think any other kids have been traumatized the way Desiree and I have. Honestly, I don’t know how it’s possible that they only have four kids.
• I’m not complaining though. As I said, I count my blessings. I have a great family.
• Half an hour later after breakfast, Dad had his chauffeur bring the car around. My bags were packed into the trunk, and soon it was time for me to leave.
• Poppy and Lily ran out the front door and their lips trembled. “Will you come back?” they wanted to know.
• “Soon,” I promised them. Luckily, I can always call them from school. I will miss them, that’s for sure.
• Mom walked up to us and, after taking the twins from me and giving them to the nanny, turned to me and held my face in her hands.
• “I don’t have to tell you to be a good boy. You’ve always been. I just want you to be happy and safe.”
• “I will be safe mom.”
• “You have your medications?”
• I nodded yes. I had all 8 bottles of anti – anxiety and anti – depressant pills in my bag.
• “Call me if you need anything. If you feel you can’t stay there anymore, call me, your Dad and I will come rushing over to pick you up, okay?”
• “Thanks mom,” I nodded.
• She kissed my cheek, then looked over her shoulder at Desiree, who remained standing at the door with her arms crossed in front of her. She tried to look tough, but I saw the tears brimming in her eyes.
• “Desiree, come say goodbye to your brother.”
• She reluctantly made her way towards me, but once she saw that Mom had gone to kiss Dad goodbye, she stuck her middle finger out in front of my face.
• “F*ck off. I’m in charge now.”
• “I will miss you too," I laughed. "*ss.”