Chapter 163

• But I knew it wouldn't last. With every birthday, I felt my father's eyes on me more and more often. At twenty-five, I was well beyond the usual marrying age for the daughter of a mafia man. We women were used as a gesture of good will, or sometimes bargaining chips to placate the men. Make them feel bigger than they were. More important. And the thought of becoming some gangster's trophy wife, of sleeping in the same bed with him and letting him rut over me every night, made me want to vomit. So one day, I just walked out of the house, got into my car, and left. No one stopped me. No one even thought to question me because I'd always been such a good girl who never caused any trouble.
• I drove as far as I could go without any money to get gas, which was three hours away to Austin. I pulled up right outside of this club, walked in, and asked for a job. I'd only planned to stay long enough to get a paycheck, until I'd found out exactly what type of business it was and decided it was safe enough for me to stay for a while. And that's how I met Jade, who offered me a place to stay when she found out I was sleeping in my car and washing up in the restroom at the back of the club before my shift every night. I'd been at her place about two weeks when I asked her if I could take her place one night on one of her dates. If I got rid of this pesky virginity, I wouldn't be nearly as valuable if I was ever found and forced back into my father's home.
• If I survived the beating he would give me for running off and "defiling" myself, maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to have some semblance of freedom. Or at the very least, have a say in who I ended up marrying.