Chapter 7 Pills

• H U G O
• PARIS: I need your help Randy. I'm so scared. I'm so scared right now.
• I tried to ignore what Paris sent her. I don't understand. Why is Paris acting like this? What's she scared of? Who's she scared of?
• I sit on the couch and kept my eyes glued on her text. I try to think of what she was possibly talking about over this text. It looked simple but so much meaning on it. I try to read in between the lines but I still couldn't figure out what Paris is trying to say over this text she sent Rose. Maybe Rose knows about it. It's already one in the morning and I wouldn't want to wake Miranda up and tell her that I opened her message. She'll feel like I invaded her privacy.
• Her phone beeps again.
• It was another text from Paris.
• PARIS: We need to tell him. I feel so bad for hiding it from him all these years. I had a nightmare. It was horrible. It was so traumatizing that I'm too scared that it looked real. I don't want it to happen. I'm so scared. I'm really scared. We need to tell Hugo. I need to tell you so many other things too. I'm sorry.
• My eyes widened, me?
• Tell me about what? What's going on? What's she talking about? What's Paris and Miranda hiding behind my back?
• I pulled myself up from the couch and I instantly wanted to call Zachary. I wanted to ask him about Paris' behavior right now because it is troublesome. Zachary and Paris would do drugs together since before and that's no lie. We're used to hearing it because we've known about it since years ago. We try not to invade their space because it's their thing. We wouldn't want to intervene and tell them it's not good for them.
• Maybe she's on drugs again. She was sent to rehab before so many times before their disbandment. Paris had been a massive cocaine user and I wonder if she's taking those again. She's having weird hallucinations and nightmares when she's high.
• But she couldn't be doing drugs again, she's pregnant. It'll be bad for her baby. Before, Paris used to be a real addict and she couldn't live without it. She needed lost of help years ago when she was on the verge of almost loosing herself. I even saw Zachary worrying out for her. He looked out for her and stick to her all through these years. She'd be gone for days without calling him and Zachary would worry the fuck out for her.
• Nobody knew about this except us and it was almost leaked through the public but they had great connections on the media. They were too good to clean her name before she'll get ruined by her own doings.
• I wanted to text Paris. I wanted to ask her. At the same time I wanted to check on Zachary. I'm so worried for the two of them. What if they're both doing drugs right now?
• But I've known Zachary and he has given up anything that's related to drugs for so many years ago. I grunted and placed Rose's phone down.
• P A R I S
• KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
• "Paris!" It's Zachary.
• I woke him up.
• Shit.
• "Paris open up the door baby. C’mon." He sounds so worried for me.
• That dream.
• I wouldn't want that to happen. I don't want to hurt anyone. It wasn't my intention to hurt anybody. I'm sorry.
• I didn't want to kill her.
• I didn't want to kill her.
• I'm sorry.
• I'm so sorry.
• I'm crying in front of this mirror. I looked distressed and troubled. I don't know what to do. I need my pills. I need them to calm me down. I need my fucking pills. I need it. I need it.
• Where is it?
• Where is it?
• Where the fuck is it?!
• I kept looking through the drawers but I couldn't find it. I couldn't find one. I know I bought extras for it. But there's no bottles of it. None of it. Not even a single one. Where is it?
• Fuck! I cursed mentally.
• Zachary knocks again. "Paris please open up! I’m getting worried of you! Please!"
• "Where are my goddamn pills Zac?!" I yelled at him as I kept looking through the other drawer of our dresses.
• "Paris please open up." He begs.
• "My pills! I need them Zac!" I yelled again.
• "I threw them out! You don't need them! They're making you worst! Just open up please. I'll explain why I did it." He says.
• I picked my slipper up and threw it to the door which made a loud thud. "Don't you tell me you fucking threw all of my pills Zachary?!"
• "Paris. Please. Open. The. Door." He pleads.
• I grunt as I pull my hair. I'm so mad. My hands are shaking. I need my pills. I need them. I think I'm going to faint. I’m hallucinating. That dream felt so real. I'm so scared.
• I need my pills.
• I need my pills.
• "My pills. My pills!" I yelled again and again.
• "They're making you worst Paris! Open the fuck up!" Zachary tries so hard to pull the door.
• "You can't help me Zachary." I muffled and leaned my hand over the sink.
• I cried. I began to weep.
• I lied to you.
• I lied to you.
• I'm sorry.
• You can't help me Zachary.
• You can't help me.
• That dream.
• That dream.
• She's still hunting me.
• What does she want from me?
• I didn't want that to happen.
• I'm sorry.
• My world is turning. My world is turning and turning. I see double. I'm getting dizzy. I'm seeing things. I'm seeing her. She's here. She's here with me. She's haunting me. I'm hearing her cry. I screamed as I covered my ears. I don't want to hear her.
• I hear her.
• I hear her.
• "Make it stop!!" I yelled as my tears were my cheeks.
• "Paris!!! What the fuck is wrong with you in there?!" Zachary hits the door louder.
• I shake my head as I scream for more.
• "I’m going to get the keys! I'll be back!" Zachary leaves me.
• Don't leave me Zachary. Don't leave.
• She's here with me. I see her. I feel her around me.
• She'll kill me like how I killed her.
• I’m sorry.
• I'm so sorry Annabeth.
• There weren't screams anymore. She's gone. She left. I stand in front of the sink. I stare at my own reflection. I looked like a total zero. I look like I'm terribly helpless and I am. Behind those beautiful photo-shopped pictures of me online, I'm a mess.
• I'm a complete mess.
• The door swings open and I see a blurry vision of Zachary. He stands there as he calls out my name. He calls out my name again and again. He's saying some things but I don't hear it. I can't hear the exact things he's saying.
• "Zachary…" I muffled soft and felt my entire body falling backwards to the ground.
• He catches me.
• There was nothing but darkness.
• M I R A N D A
• I asked the nurse on the nurse's station where Paris’ room was and I am anxious. I am panting, trying to catch my breath and feeling incredibly scared but I knew I had to see her.
• Hugo, Landon and I rushed our way to Paris' hospital room and we were all worried for what happened to her. Zachary called us up this morning and told us about what happened. He said Paris was having tantrums and nightmares. I'm glad they were still here in New York when this happened. I'm so worried for Paris. I hope nothing serious had happened to her. I don't know what has exactly happened last night but I wish her baby is still alive. I wish she's okay too. I wouldn't want her to have another miscarriage again.
• When we reached her room, we quickly marched inside and saw Paris sleeping on her bed. She looked pale. Very pale. Very weak. The three of us walked near Zachary and he hugged us respectively. He looked tired and he looked like he hasn't gotten any sleep at all.
• "Thanks for visiting." He told us.
• "We came as soon as we heard." Landon answers.
• Zachary rubs his palms on his face while he stares at Paris eagerly.
• "What happened to Paris?" Hugo asked.
• Zachary sighs and shakes his head sideways. "She's been having nightmares lately. She consulted a doctor and asked for some sleeping pills to help her."
• Zachary sits down on the couch and looked like he hasn't had any sleep at all. "Those sleeping pills were making her worst every single night. I thought it was bad for her. But I didn't know that she stopped taking those sleeping pills the doctor gave her and instead she's taking cocaine."
• My heart dropped.
• I gaped.
• Zachary looked distraught right now and I feel terribly sorry for him. I pity him so much. I just want to comfort him right now. He's so worried for Paris and I wish she could see how worried he is for her. But I couldn't believe Paris is taking cocaine.
• "It was too late for me to realize that she's taking drugs again. She's taking drugs behind my back and she's pregnant." He muffles.
• Little tears appeared behind his eyes and I feel terribly bad for him. I really pity Zachary. I really do. I didn't know Paris were taking drugs. I didn't know she could even do it. She's pregnant. She knows it's bad for her health and for the baby.
• Zachary sighs heavily. "She's having trouble. And I don't know what's bugging her. She's always distant from me. And quiet. She doesn't talk much. And something is really bothering her. I don't know what." His voice shakes in fear.
• I sigh.
• The four of us looked and felt saddened about what happened to Paris. I don't know what to say too. I don't know what to say to Zachary because he looked like what he feels right now.
• "How's the baby?" Hugo asked.
• "The baby's fine." Zachary answers.
• I exhaled in relief. "Thank goodness." I muffled.
• "I am too. But it's Paris. There's something wrong with Paris." Zachary says softly.
• What?
• What does that mean?
• Zachary moved his head to me and asked, "Do you know anything Miranda? You were the last one who she texted last night."
• I felt instant shiver down my spine, "I'll try to talk to her. I'll try to talk it out from her. I don't know what's going on with Paris but I really wanna help her Zachary." I tell him.
• He didn't answer me anymore.
• "Has she been a user of the substance?" I asked.
• The three of them grew eerily quiet. They didn't answer and instead, they were just looking at each other, with that I know it. Zachary scratches the back of his neck and nobody even dared to answer me.
• "Has she?" I tried to ask again.
• Zachary sighs. "She has." he answers softly.
• What? I never thought she's been a drug user.
• He sighs. "It's because of me. When we cancelled the engagement before, she learned to take drugs from those people around her. She thought it would help her. It's because of me."
• I sit next to Zachary and comforted him. I placed my hand on his back as he wipes his years.
• "Damn Zachary. It's not because of you man." Landon tells him.
• Zachary moved his head to Landon.
• "You didn't influence her with cocaine. You never were the one who told her to take it. I know you've done it together but you were the one helped her get through it. You talked to Paris and persuaded her to go to rehab." Landon tells him.
• Paris went to rehab? Paris taking drugs already surprised me but Paris going to rehab is too much to handle. There's so much secrets from these used to be famous celebrities and I wonder what's left for me to discover.
• "I'll talk to Paris." I said to Zachary.
• He smiles. "Thank you."
• "Let's get you some coffee and some fresh air, man." Hugo hooks his arm around Zachary. "You look sick."
• Zachary stands. "Will you be okay all by yourself here Randy?"
• I nodded. "I'll wait for Paris to wake up. You guys go ahead without me." I smiled.
• Landon kisses the top of my hair. "Call me when you need anything."
• "I will." I answered.
• I watch as the three of them leave the room silently and I am still confused. I stood from the couch and pulled a stainless steel stool then placed it next to Paris' bed. I watch her as she sleep silently. Her lips were pale and so does her face. She looked like she hasn't slept well, I could tell from her dark circles and heavy look in eyelids. I push the escaping tendrils of her hair and just prayed that she would finally wake up, fine and would reach out to me to talk to me about what has been bothering her lately.
• About an hour or so, I think I fell asleep waiting for Paris to wake up but she is still unconscious. About another hour and passed, the guys hasn't returned yet and I texted them that I needed more time to stay around with Paris all by myself. They said they were in a coffee shop just near by the hospital, taking their time to talk. When she was finally waking up, she slowly flutters her eyes open and I quickly pulled myself closer to her. She looks at me and she was just quiet.
• "Hey." I muffled.
• She looks at me. "Randy?"
• I nodded. "Yes it's me."
• She opens her arms to me and holds me tight. I held her as tight as I could. "I’m so glad you're safe. What has happened to you?" I asked.
• I released her.
• "She's haunting me. She's everywhere Randy. She's following me. She wants something from me and I'm so scared. I hear her when I'm alone. I hear her every night. I see her in my dreams. I'm so scared." Tears begin to fill her eyes.
• Her?
• Who's her?
• Who is she even talking about?
• "Ssshhh, no one's here." I assured her. "It's just you and me Paris. Just you and me." I tell her as I hold her head close to my breasts.
• "You're safe with me." I assured her again.
• "I'm sorry." She muffles as she pulled herself away. "Now I'm guessing you know my addiction to cocaine." She confesses.
• I nodded.
• "Why? Why did you take those when you know you're pregnant?" I asked her.
• "I thought it could help me. The sleeping pills that the doctor gave were bullshit so I thought doing coke would help." She muffles softly.
• “Oh Paris.”
• She shakes her head sideways, "At first it did. I was getting better than those sleeping pills that the doctor gave me. I thought she'd go away but I see her. I hear her. I see her Randy. Everywhere. I doubled the dose of cocaine but it's worst. Zachary was right but I didn't listen to him. I see Annabeth." She cries and she sounded so scared of this woman called Annabeth.
• Who's Annabeth?
• She cries and I held her around my arms. I just held her silently while she keeps on crying. She's crying and she's terrible scared of this Annabeth. But who is she?
• "Who's Annabeth, Paris?" I asked her.
• She grew quiet.
• "Paris. Who is she?" I asked her again.
• She looks at me.
• "Remember that moment I told you I had a miscarriage?" she asks me.
• I nod.
• "It was her." She answers.
• My brows creasing at my forehead.
• "I named her Annabeth. It was a beautiful name and it struck me. But..." She trails off and begins to weep.
• "But what Paris?"
• "I killed her Miranda." She cries.
• "It was an accident. You told me it was." I said to her. "It wasn't your fault." I added.
• She shakes her head vigorously.
• “It was not what you wanted to happen. Don’t blame yourself.” I comforted her.
• "I had an abortion." She confessed.