Chapter 3 Humble

• M I R A N D A
• Landon and I were the last ones to leave among his family and we intended to stay behind. They left ahead of us and we decided to stay a little bit with the Saintclares to have a little chitchat. Although I wanted to leave since Hugo was around, Landon decided to stay as he ordered a cup of tea but I ordered nothing else since I was already too full.
• We talked about how our honeymoon turned out and I can't help but comment about it because I literally indeed enjoy it too much. I'm not intentionally making Hugo feel jealous of what I experienced with Landon because I literally had the best time of my life with everything I did that one whole month.
• We discussed more about Mrs. Anne’s health condition and how she has been having diet meals to maintain her body weight. We furthered talked about Gladys’ business and how she had changed after she started working on her own business. The conversation was overflowing and I enjoyed having the conversation with them although Hugo was silent most of the time.
• "I'm glad you dropped by our table." Mrs. Anne says while the five of us headed to the restaurant's front door.
• "It's not much of a problem auntie." Landon gave her a quick hug once we reached outside the driveway and I did too.
• "I'll drive mum home, Hugo." Gladys volunteers.
• Hugo just nods.
• "I'm so glad I've met you Miranda." Gladys turns her attention to me.
• I smiled at her happily. "I'm much happier that I've met you too Gladys."
• "I hope this isn't the last." She smiles.
• "I swear it isn't." I confirmed.
• She quickly threw herself at me and hugged me tight as if she had known me for so long. I hugged her back too and I felt like she really likes me much more than Audrey and that is something important to me even though Hugo is not mine. At least, they respect me as Benedict’s mother.
• She pulls herself away from me as I tell her and Mrs. Anne, "Have a safe drive."
• Hugo's mother smiled at me dearly, "You too. Have a safe flight back to New York. I heard there's a storm coming. Be careful." She cups my face.
• I nodded and thanked him.
• "And you too Landon. Be careful." She tells him.
• "We will be careful." Landon smiles. “Thank you.”
• "We'll visit you soon in New York." She states with a happy tone.
• "Oh it makes me excited with the thought of that. I can't wait to meet Ben." Gladys chimes happily and it makes me happy too.
• "I'm really sure he feels the same way." I answered.
• "I hope. Well then, we have to go now. Mum looks a little bit tired." Gladys blurted out.
• "We'll go ahead now. Have a goodnight everyone." Mrs. Anne says while he hugs and kisses Hugo's cheek.
• "Take care mum. Love you." Hugo spoke after being so silent for so long.
• "Love you too son." Mrs. Anne answers.
• I watch as the two of them headed to Gladys's car and how Gladys is so careful with her own mother. It amazes me how these people, ever so rich but always do goddamn humble as if they don’t own a lot of money. It is indeed truly fantastic to see how they managed to live such a normal life despite all the wealth they own.
• "I guess we'll go ahead now Hugo." Landon chimes out of the blue which caused me look at him as soon as he said it.
• Hugo glares at me, "I'm glad to see you both again." He smiles a meaningful smile.
• Landon smiles back, "Same here.” He answers before he looks back at me and says, “We gotta go love. We still have a plane to catch."
• I nod at him.
• "You're going to leave London already?" Hugo asks.
• "Yeah. We need to go back to New York. Ben's waiting for us to come back home." Landon says while he placed his arm around my shoulders.
• The three of us got quiet for a few seconds and I just hate it when we get awkwardly silent for a while. I don't like it because it makes me feel as if there is this gap between us that should not happen. I don't want this awkwardness between the three of us knowing how close they are with each other.
• "Ben's been curious about you too." I blurted out.
• Hugo needs to know this.
• The two of them turned their heads to me. Landon seemed surprised to the words that I just as said.
• "He talked to me over the phone a while ago in the bathroom before I bumped to Gladys. He asked me when you were going to visit him." I added and glued my eyes on Hugo, meaning every word I said, not only for me but for Ben.
• Hugo stared at me intently.
• "He said he misses you, Hugo." I continued.
• Hugo looks down on his feet then pushes his hair off his face before turning back to me and answered, "Tell Ben I'm sorry for not visiting. I just had a lot of things to do with work and with Alex. I'll see him soon."
• I nodded once.
• "I promise that." He adds.
• "I just wish you'd keep your promises to your son Hugo." I said firm. “Promises mean a lot to him.”
• I take a hold tight on Landon’s hand, "Let's go love. I'm really exhausted right now." I tell him with a soft smile on my face.
• "Alright. If you want to." Landon answers.
• "Have a great night Hugo." I said to him.
• He looks at me intently with his piercing green eyes making me feel as if there are butterflies in my stomach. Even though I felt that way, I still couldn’t help but feel as if there are pangs of pain in the pit of my soul every time he looks back at me.
• "Send my regards to Audrey too." I added and I didn’t even know why in hell I said that.
• He nods at me.
• I glanced at Landon, "Let's go love."
• I pulled him with me and I feel Landon beginning to walk too.
• "Goodnight Hue. T'was great to catch up with yah." Landon bids goodbye.
• Both of us marched to the car and drove our way to the airport. Landon and I were quiet inside the car. Honestly, I was already tired and I didn't feel the need to talk in the first place. I hate it when I see Hugo, he always makes me feel so bothered every single time after we see each other, planned or unexpectedly. He makes me feel terribly sad because a part of me still wants him so badly. A part of me still loves him even though I tell myself I don’t many times and I know I have been lying to myself about it. I think this part will always be with me until I die.
• I rested my head on Landon's shoulder as we silently drove to the airport. Our hands were entwined together and we were both just quiet.
• "Love?" Landon suddenly talked.
• "Yes?" I slightly pulled my head up to him but I noticed that he was looking far ahead out of his window pane.
• I held his cheek and pulled his face so he could look at me. He smiles ruefully at me. "Are you alright?" He asks.
• I nodded. "I'm just tired. Why? Is there something wrong?" I asked him back.
• He stared at me intently as if his eyes were telling me that he knows things I don’t. I don’t want to suspect that Landon is hiding something from me just because I have this hunch
• He shakes his head. "I just thought something was bothering you."
• "You think too much love." I smile at him to make sure that nothing is wrong between us.
• He kisses the top of my head.
• When we reached New York, I hugged Ben as tight as I could once I saw him because I have missed him so much for the past month. I was too happy to see him and he was too happy to see me too. I think Landon was also in glee when they reunited and it was heartwarming to witness. He kept carrying Ben around and Ben didn't even want to get off of Landon's arms. Ben loved his toys and the souvenirs we bought for him. We gave Vivian and Arthur too and they were grateful for it.
• We were more grateful for how they took care of Ben for a month effortlessly.
• One night, Ben was whining about sleeping with me and Landon since he missed us terribly much. I honestly find it adorable. I settled him in between us while Landon was taking his half shower. I tucked the blanket over Ben and he smiles at me looking so excited to sleep with us in our bedroom.
• I'm too happy that Landon is here to stand as Ben's father while Hugo's busy with his second son. I don’t want to feel any grudge towards the young boy but I still feel as if it’s very injustice that he spends most of his time with Alex when he should be spending time with his first son too. Whenever I stare at Ben, it breaks my heart that he can't be with his real father.
• I feel like it's my fault and it really is my fault.
• I feel like I deprived him from everything that Hugo could offer him. I feel like Ben's imagination of a complete happy family will not be real because of me even though Landon can provide him with it, I know he still wishes that it’s with Hugo. I always end up blaming myself when Hugo can't give so much attention for Ben now.
• "Mom?" Ben calls out my attention.
• "Yes baby?" I answered as I push his hair off his face.
• "When's daddy Hugo c-coming home?" He asks with his innocent eyes.
• I sigh inwardly.
• I don't have any idea Ben. It's been a week since I saw him in London and I don't know when he's going to visit you. I answered him mentally.
• I smiled. "Do you wanna give daddy Hugo a call?" I asked.
• Ben nods vigorously. "Can I?"
• "Of course." I reached for my phone and searched for Hugo's number.
• I hit call.
• It was just ringing.
• I pressed my lips together and waited for Hugo to pick up his phone to answer me.
• H U G O
• My phone vibrates on top of the table which stops the entire meeting that I am currently in. I quickly held it with my hand and saw
• Rose calling...
• "Shall we proceed with the meeting, Mr. Saintclare?" The presenter asked me.
• I gazed at him and glanced back at my phone.
• "Mr. Levine will take over for me." I stand from my chair and pat Mr. Levine's shoulder.
• He looks up at me, "Write down everything for me, Robbie." I tell him.
• "Yes Mr. Saintclare."
• "Proceed." I gestured to the presenter to continue with the meeting without me.
• I marched my out of the conference room and quickly answered Rose's call. I stand by the hallway and leaned over the steel railways of the twenty-first floor of my office.
• "Hey." I answered.
• "Daddy!!" It was Ben.
• A smile creeps on my face. I was expecting to hear Rose's voice but Ben's calmed me down too.
• "Hey buddy." I cooed. I gazed at my watch, "Shouldn't you be asleep now? I'm sure it's late in New York." I tell him.
• "I asked mom to c-call you." Ben answers.
• "Come on and say hi to d-daddy Hugo, m-mom." I hear Ben's voice fading. I think he's handing his phone to Rose due to the muffling sounds.
• "C-C-C'mon mom!" Ben whines.
• “You don’t have to force it if your mommy don’t want to, bud.” I say.
• I hear her breath through the other line and send me shivers done to my last spine.
• "Hey Hugo." It was Rose.
• Her luscious voice tickles my ears as I felt a sudden rush inside my heart. "Hey....Rose."
• "Did we... Uhmmm... Did we c-call on a wrong time?" She asks.
• I like when she stutters like that whenever she talks to me.
• "No." I answered right away. "You just saved me from a boring meeting. Thank you." I chuckle.
• She gasps. "Meeting?"
• "Yeah. It's nothing big. Don't worry." I reassured her.
• "Oh my god, we're terribly sorry." She hurriedly said and I knew she was going to say it.
• "Rose, I would chose you over a stupid board meeting. It's just a meeting and you're more important to me." I say as a matter-of-factually.
• She didn't say anything.
• I bite my lower lip. "You and Ben are more important."
• She's still quiet.
• "Well someone is writing down things for me while I am here. So don't worry about it." I reassured her.
• We got quiet. She's still quiet.
• "Say something else mom!" I hear Ben on the background.
• I bite my lower lip harder and waited for Rose to say anything to me. Possibly anything. Just say anything so I can hear your voice longer Rose. I just want to keep this conversation going. I just miss talking to her. I missed her voice over the phone.
• I sigh heavily.
• "I miss you Rose." I couldn't help it.
• I hear Rose's sighing heavily as I continued, "I miss us. I miss what we have."
• She clear her throat, "Your daddy Hugo wants to talk to you Ben.”
• I think she's handing the phone to Ben now.
• "Hello dad?" Ben answers.
• "Hey sport." I answered back.
• "When are you coming to visit me?" Ben's voice sounded a little bit down.
• I push my hair back. "Maybe in a week. I promise. I'm sorry if daddy couldn't visit much often than before, I'm just too busy."
• "Y-you're busy with Alex?" He asks.
• I sigh heavier. "Yes. Sort of. And with work too."
• "Alex is lucky t-to ha-have you daddy Hugo."
• I feel massive amounts of pain against my chest as if it's being crumpled and shattered into bits.
• "Do you love him daddy?" He asks me.
• "I love both of you." I tell him.
• "But y-you're always with him."
• I sigh again.
• "But d-don't worry daddy Hugo. Daddy Landon is here for me all the time. He loves me so much. He buys me toys. He t-tells me bedtime stories. He sings me t-to sleep. He drives me around to m-my doctor and daily activities at the hospital."
• I can't help but feel jealous. Ben's much attached to Landon than me and it should be that's on Landon's shoes.
• "I'm..." I cleared my throat. "I'm glad to hear that Ben."
• "Come home already d-dad!" Ben chimes.
• I smiled at myself. "I will be there soon."
• "You always say that to me but still you're not here." He answers me.
• I breathe out heavily. "I'm sorry son. Daddy's just busy with work and I promise I'll be home sooner than you think I will be."
• "Ready for some bedtime stories cookie ear?" I hear Landon.
• Sometimes I wish I want far from my first family. I feel like I'm the one pulling myself away from them because of this crazy set up.
• "Bye daddy Hugo! Daddy Landon's going to give me bedtime stories now! I love you daddy Hugo!" Ben squeals.
• I smile as I quietly felt my tears building up fast in my eyes. "I love you too son." I answered.
• "I'll see you s-soon!" He says sweetly then hangs up.
• Later that night, while I was inside my office at home, I can't help but think about Ben and Rose. I miss them. I miss spending time with them. I miss Rose so much too.
• Too much.
• I sigh heavily.
• I have been here inside my office for two hours now and I still don't want to talk with Audrey after what happened. It feels like every time we're in one room together, we always end up fighting and it’s always been like that even before our wedding.
• Lately, I've noticed that she looks so troubled over something that she is not telling me and she's always going out with her friends. I don't care where she goes just as long as she comes home early and just as long as she takes care of our son. I don't ask her anymore where she heads to because we always end up fighting about it. She either comes home drunk or if not drunk, she comes home very late.
• We haven't had a formal conversation and when we talk to each other, there's always fighting and screaming and so much words that shouldn't be said. We seldom have dinner together and if we do, both of us would stay silent. I don't know what is always bugging her but I wouldn't dare to ask because she'll end up yelling at me. I would want to help her with what seems to be troubling her, I mean I'm still her husband and I think she needs to share it with me.
• I suddenly felt the door opening.
• "Coffee?" It was Audrey.
• I glued my eyes on her as she stands by the doorway holding a cup of coffee.
• She like she is in the mood.
• I smiled at her, "Just what I needed." I lied, just to avoid a fight and to respect her as my wife.
• I closed my laptop and she begins to walk near me with a sweet smile on her face. She placed the cup on top of my desk and sat down on my lap as she laced her arm around my neck. I was holding her back so she won't fall off and she smiles at me dearly. I miss this kind of peace with her. I miss the old Audrey.
• She has changed so much and it feels like I am only in love with the old Audrey and not this kind of Audrey.
• I forced a smile on my face.
• "Are we okay?" She asks.
• I sigh inwardly.
• "We are." I answered.
• "I just feel like, we're not like how we used to anymore. We always fight. We always yell at each other. And if we don't fight, we don't talk to each other." She looks down at her fingers. “It makes me sad.”
• I just stared at her while she sits on my lap and how I want to tell her that the fights are usually initiated because of her actions and attitude towards me and our son. She pulled her head up to me and cupped both of my cheeks. "Do you still love me, Hugo?" She asks.
• I'm asking myself that question lately too Audrey. I don't know if I still love you. I don't know if I'm staying on this marriage for you. I think I'm staying for the sake of Alex to have a father even though it's unfair to Ben's part. I thought to myself.
• "Do you love me?" I answered her with a question.
• She pauses and nods. "I've always loved you Hugo. Sometimes I just don't know what's getting into me for fighting you. I'm sorry about the words I said about your friends. I didn't mean it. I was just drunk and troubled. I--"
• "What's bugging you lately?" I cut her off.
• She looks at me ruefully.
• "You can always tell me about it Audrey. I'm your husband. Your problems are my problems. For better or for worst. Remember?" I asked her.
• She smiles and quickly threw herself at me. She holds me tight as she rested her chin over my shoulder and I held her back.
• She sniffs. "I'm sorry."
• She sounds like she is crying and I am a little emotional of this but thankful that she managed to open up to me about it.
• "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She repeats.
• She's really crying.
• Why? I thought to myself why she seems too emotional.
• "What are you sorry for?" I asked her.
• She shakes her head and doesn't answer me anymore. She just cried over my shoulder and we just hugged each other tight. I don't know what's her problem but I'm worried for her.
• "For everything." She muffles as she sniffs.