Chapter 8 - Persistent Memories
- Cassie -
- This last week has been very emotional for me, I have been thinking about my mother a lot in the last week, for some reason she is constantly in my thoughts, I miss her so much, I also keep dreaming of everybody else I have lost recently, Luna Lily for example, seems to be a constant feature in my dreams, telling me everything will work out as it should, and Thomas, my darling Thomas, who sacrificed himself so that I might survive, sacrificed himself because he felt my life was worth more than mine. I’m not sure why this last week has been so trying, maybe because I knew what was about to happen, maybe I’m seeing all my lost loved ones because I am terrified that others I have come to love will be leaving me and joining them. Brian and Mark are so close to Ace’s hiding place, I know it, even if we don’t know exactly where he is, I know thy are close, and I pray to the Goddess almost hourly to spare them, they don’t deserve to lose each other, not when they have only just found each other.
- Ace has taken so much from me, Luna Lily filled a void I had in my heart where my mother used to reside, and Thomas was a balm on my soul, the brother I never had and both of them were taken by my supposed mate. Even Alpha Sven lost his life because of Ace, and the fear that others will fall because of him has nme tossing and turning most nights, only Jack’s presence can sooth me and even that doesn’t rid my dreams of the ghosts of those I love. The emotions that seeing them nightly invoke in me are crossing into my waking hours, I keep imaging Thomas’ voice in my ear. Seeing and hearing them is a mixed emotion kind of experience, I feel crushing sorrow from missing them so much, but I feel closer to them than I have in a long time. I just pray that they are happy with how I have changed, because I know I have changed, I’m no longer that beaten down waif of a girl who was easily trampled, I am strong, I train regularly and I am so much more confident in my abilities. I am a good luna and I know I am, I am not conceited, I just know I am putting all of my effort into the things I am working towards and I know that my determination is paying off.