Chapter 4 His rosebud?
- The name that used to give me flutters in my tummy, now only added fuel to something that was smoldering inside me for years.
- I didn't want to be called with that name anymore.
- "I didn't think my Rosebud could stay mad at me for that long," he drawled out as I kept quiet, eyes searching for something on my face.
- My Rosebud?
- Whatever you see on my face, Achilles Valencian, but you won't find the fifteen years old sister of your best friend there. Because she died that night because of you. And the irony was, it wasn't even your fault.
- "Don't call me that!" My voice came out much like a snap.
- When he raised a brow, I tried to cool down my nerves. I couldn't show him my anger. And though how much right it seemed, he wasn't at any fault.
- He didn't even know.
- "I- I've a name. And I'd prefer to be called by that. I don't like when someone calls me with nicknames," I clarified.
- The side of his lips quirked up. "I know your name. But you will always be Rosebud for me." He leaned in, his hot breath fanning my earlobe. "Though this Rosebud of mine now bloomed into a beautiful rose."
- My heart stuttered.
- Whispers of the past echoed in my mind.
- "Really?" I'd brightened up like a Christmas tree. "That means you will marry me?"
- He'd bit his lip, his eyes lit up with amusement. "I'm sorry, Rosebud! But I can't."
- "Why not?" I pouted.
- "Because it's not the right time. You're still so young."
- "Then when will be the right time?" I'd gazed up at him with so much hope.
- "When you turn into a blooming rose from a rose bud."
- A shaky breath left my lips, a squeezing pain shot through my chest. My eyes stung with forbidden memories. He… remembered?
- But then flashes of that night floated across. My throat tightened, causing me to ball my fists.
- I gulped, it felt like acid burning inside me. I needed air!
- Moving out of his arms, I pushed him away. Surprise flashed across his eyes, and then something like concern took over his features. Not wanting to stay there any longer, I turned around and walked away. As fast as I could without creating a scene.
- "Rosebud!" He called after me, his voice closer. At my peripheral vision, I saw Tobias going to him, maybe to stop him from following me.
- "Em? Where are you going?"
- Ignoring Warner's question, I ran out there and didn't stop until I was at the serenity of the huge balcony.
- Gripping the railing, I breathed in the cold night air. Up in the sky, hung the half curved moon, surrounded by gazillions of twinkling stars. They winked at me, as if mocking me for my pathetic feelings.
- A lone tear escaped my eye as the cool breeze touched my face. And then I let some more to fall free. Tears that I'd been succeeding to put in for years.
- My hand clutched my chest as I felt the same pain it felt that night. As if someone has sliced the old wounds open.
- Biting my lip hard, I attempted to stop those tears. Seven years. Seven freaking years! And here I was, still mourning over the heartache I got as a punishment of my foolishness. Seven years, and it still pained me physically to remember the loss.
- I was still afraid of meeting him. I was still a coward. That's why I tagged Warner along. I needed support. I knew one way or another, in these two weeks I'd have to face him. I'd been trying to escape from him after that night. I'd avoided him like a plague. Even if it was impossible for some occasions to avoid him before I went to high school to another city, I hadn't looked at him. I didn't look at his face or into his eyes, because I knew, I knew if I made the mistake to look up, he would see it. He would see it all.
- And he'd find out how pathetic I was for believing in his words he said to a nine years old naive kid, not to break her fragile heart.
- I thought, I'll forget him if I go away. So I went to live in a different city. I thought, if I dated other men, I'd forget him. So I dated a lot of men. If I toughen myself up, I'd be able to wipe him from my memories.
- But no. Just one glance, and some mere words threw me back to where I'd been years ago. All my attempts failed.
- "Why?" I whispered, my voice quivering.
- Why can't I just move on? After all these years, why does it still hurt?
- Fuck you, Achilles Valencian! Fuck you for fucking up my life!
- I wiped my face when I felt a presence behind me. A glass of orange juice was held before me.
- "Just give me a moment, Warner. I will be inside in a while."
- "Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not your boyfriend. He is enjoying his drink very much with your brother inside."
- I snapped my head to him. He followed me here?
- Stormy grey eyes were dark with… anger, shadowed jaw was clenched. His charcoal suit gleamed under the moonlight as he towered over me. Even after these years, I could only reach his broad shoulders with my five feet four inches.
- And the way he pronounced the word 'boyfriend' with malice, didn't go unnoticed by me. I didn't like that tone at all.
- "Why are you here?" I took a step back. His close proximity suffocated me.
- He covered the distance I created between us, handing me the glass. "Came to see if you're okay."
- You didn't come to see me all these years.
- "You don't need to be concerned about my well-being." I ran my free hand over my arm as chilling air kissed my bare skin.
- A muscle of his jaw ticked. Shrugging off his jacket, he placed it over my shoulders. I tried to go away from his overwhelming presence, but he held me in place and secured it around me. His intoxicating scent filled my senses.
- "I will always be concerned for your well-being, Emerald. I can't stop doing it even if I want. And I won't."
- "Why?" I looked up into his intense grey. His arms were still around me.
- Why wasn't I pulling away?
- "Because I care for you."
- As a little sister?
- A sourness rose up my throat.
- "And why do you care for me?" I asked, my tone bitter.
- Leaning in, he snuggled his nose against my hair, breathing me in. A shiver ran down my spine. Then he pulled away and peered into my soul, briefly glancing down at my parted lips.
- "Let's keep the answer for another day. Let the time unfold the inevitable of its own." Tucking a strand behind my ear, he turned around and strode away, leaving me standing there. Cold and confused.
- What did he mean by inevitable?
- Whatever, I didn't care. Looking back up at the sky, I took a deep breath to calm myself down. Once feeling more controlled, I sauntered back inside.
- I found him at the feet of the huge staircase, talking to a bald middle aged man. But his eyes were on me.
- Averting my stare, I stopped a passer by waiter.
- "Yes, Ma'am? What'd you like to have?" He gestured to the variety of drinks on his tray.
- "Nothing, but I need you to do something." Shrugging off the jacket, I handed it to him. "Would you please return it to Mr. Valencian? He forgot it with me."
- The waiter followed my gaze and seeing the tightness of his jaws, the color of his face drained. He fumbled in his place with the tray and jacket in both of his hands. Before he could object, I thanked him and left.
- The more I'd be away from him and things related to him, the more it'd be good for me.
- "Em? Where were you? You okay? I was about to go to you, but Tobias said to give you some time alone. Did something happen?" Warner fired as soon as he saw me, standing beside him, my brother eyed me with concern.
- I gave him a tight smile. "Nothing happened, everything is fine. Don't worry! I just needed some fresh air."
- He didn't look convinced, but nodded his head anyway. That's what I liked about him, he never forced me to do anything I didn't want to.
- When I asked Tobias for the car keys excusing of not feeling well, he requested me to stay until the announcement and cake cutting. I agreed to stay until the announcement, only for Mom and Dad. I didn't want them to worry. And the entire time I ignored a pair of scorching gaze on me.
- I needed to get away if I wanted to keep my sanity intact.
- ***
- The blaring of my phone alarm woke me from my sleep that had come to me with much difficulty last night. The soft beams of morning glow fell into the room, causing me to squint my eyes. Letting out a yawn, I sat up.
- My head felt heavy. And soon my heart followed as the memories of last night flew in.
- Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose. Just a matter of a few days, and then I will be gone.
- A buzz of my mobile caught my attention.
- Must be one of the girls.
- Reaching out, I grabbed my phone and saw an unknown number.
- Good morning, my Rosebud! Hope you'd a good night's sleep.
- A
- My heart skipped a beat. A? M-means, Ace?
- My hands curled around the phone.
- What does he want now?
- Was my behavior last night wasn't enough to clarify that I didn't want to do anything with him? Even though he didn't know the reason, I didn't care.
- I thought to reply to him with a 'back off', but then decided instead. Deleting the message, I threw my phone back on the bed and padded into the washroom.
- "So? What're you gonna do now?" Casie raised her brow, when Beth munched on the chocolate chips she brought with her.
- They came to hang out at my place and together we'd breakfast. And now was watching TV at the hall, sprawling on the leather couches. Mom and Dad went shopping right after breakfast for Tess's upcoming engagement party. And Warner tagged along happily. Good thing that I could share everything with the girls without fearing anyone's overhearing.
- "I don't know. And it doesn't matter, you know? He is just being polite to me as a family friend, that's all," I replied.
- "And 'ow do you 'ow that?" Beth asked, her mouth filled with chips.
- I shrugged. "Why else was he being so nice all of a sudden then? Before I shifted to NY, he was never around. And even he was, he never said a word to me, which I was grateful for. But now, after all these years, he is suddenly so nice to me. Calling me Rosebud like nothing happened."
- Both of them listened to my blabbering with utmost attention.
- "Hmm, it's confusing," Casie hummed. "Maybe you're right. But then you said he remembered what he said on your ninth birthday?"
- I nodded. "He did say those words. But I don't know if it was just a coincidence that he said those same words. Maybe he didn't even know what he was saying?"
- Did he really?
- "He even said he cares for you and his behavior was strange," Beth stated, then her eyes lit up with realization. "Maybe he saw you last night and lost his heart to you? You know, love at first sight?"
- I rolled my eyes.
- "Shut up, Beth! Achilles Valencian isn't a man to fall in love with someone at one glance. Of all these years, did you see him with even a single girl around him?" Casie scoffed. "Some even think he could be a closet gay."
- Not even a single girl? I thought if he wasn't with Tess, then there must be another girl in his life.
- Something burned in my chest at that thought. I ignored the feeling. It wasn't possible. He must've someone in his life.
- "He isn't and that I can guarantee you," Beth retorted. "Did you forget the amount of girls he used to tag along at school?"
- Casie flipped her a middle finger and slumped back on the couch. "We don't know everything. Maybe he changed his preference after he'd gone for England for two years, right after Em shifted to NY?"
- I heard about him going to England to pursue some degree. And in those two years, he didn't return home even for once.
- "Whatever. And you said you moved on, right? You like Warner. Then why do you even care what Achilles Valencian does or not?" Beth queried.
- I was out of answers. "Uh, of course I moved on! And I do like Warner very much!" I raised my chin in confidence. "And I don't care what he does or doesn't. I was just sharing what happened last night."
- Both of them gave me a look, not convinced at all. I shifted my eyes to the television.
- The doorbell rang breaking the awkward situation. I literally sighed in relief as both of their gaze turned to the door.
- Casie went for it, and a minute later she walked in.
- "Well, I think it's a considerable matter now for you to care about," she commented, with a bouquet of white roses in her hand.
- "Whose is it for?" Beth raised to her feet.
- Casie's eyes locked with mine. "Guess who?"
- Leaping up, I grabbed the bouquet and took out the note.
- A beautiful day should start with those beautiful flowers. Hope you like them.
- A
- My heart raced.
- "Who sent them? And who is 'A'?" asked Beth, frowning.
- Casie rolled her eyes. "If not by the letter, then you should understand seeing these dozens of rosebuds between those flowers."
- Beth's eyes went big as realization set in. "So he sent flowers for you." Her voice teasing. "I didn't know people send their family friends good morning messages and flowers without any reason. But why white roses though?"
- I looked up at Casie as she said, "White roses symbolize peace." Her mouth turned up into a smirk. "And a fresh start. So you better be start caring, Emerald Hutton. Because I think Achilles Valencian wants a fresh start with you. And as far as we all know, he always gets what he wants."
- And my heart stopped in my chest.