Chapter 7 The Hopeless Romantic

• ~Nadia~
• "Really? Three days?!" I asked my sister Lydia.
• "Yeah, didn't he tell you?"
• I shook my head. Ian was gone on some hunting expedition for the next three days, and everyone seemed to know except for the clueless me.
• "Well, that's a surprise. Considering how things went last evening, I thought he was going to take you as his mistress."
• "Right, he didn't even look at me by the time we were done."
• "Let me guess. You were stupid enough to refuse him again? And he felt that enough is enough and asked you to get out?"
• "Not really. He said nothing, so I left."
• "Well, you can redeem yourself when he comes back. There will be another one of those sex parties when he returns. Don't turn him down then."
• "I think it's too late for that already. You all got an invitation, I didn't. I wasn't even aware of his trip."
• I was surprised by how emotional I felt today. I had a great time yesterday where someone made me feel loved and wanted as a person, not a piece of meat. It wasn't the typical royal and courtesan kind of session for sure. Maybe it was, I guess he did treat me as if I was a piece of meat, but being the hopeless romantic I was, I might have seen it differently.
• My feelings for him have been quickly changing ever since he kissed me the first time. I have been trying to read too much between the lines. If he really cared about me or my sentiments, he wouldn't have pushed me further for something that I didn't want to do. And now I sensed being cut off from him and his parties.
• I should be happy about how things panned out, but I was feeling miserable. Three long days! They were going to feel like an eternity without seeing him. He often used to leave the palace for various work or fun reasons, and I never bothered to keep track of them. I used to feast my eyes on that hot sculpted body when he was around and think about him when touching myself, and that was about it.
• This new onslaught of emotions was something I didn't prepare myself for. I was pining for a fuckboy who got pissed at me and probably forgot about my existence by now.
• I spent my day moping around the palace until my cousin gave me some more bad news.
• "This is a great week for us! Three such parties in a week, woohoo!" She looked thrilled.
• "Second one is tomorrow, and you are invited to this one. Happy Eighteenth birthday again, sweetie! It's an impressive start for you with so many opportunities pouring in." Julia's mother congratulated me as if I stumbled upon a gold mine.
• It was Ian's brother this time. Ian has been patient with me so far and didn't force me into doing anything. I wasn't so sure about his ruthless brother though. I made the mistake of approaching Ian when this happened last time and he ended up remembering me. So this time, I did not approach his brother. I pretended like I was going to attend, and then, after showering and getting ready, I faked extreme sickness and went to bed.
• "Food poisoning I guess, no fever," I told my mother when she sat on my bed with a scrutinizing glare.
• "I hope you realize your mistake soon," she said.
• "I am not faking it! Undercooked steak always does this to me..."
• I was going to explain how many times I threw up, but my voice trailed off when I saw the look on her face.
• "You fool! Do you have any idea how much money you lost already? You had four opportunities to prove your skill, and Lydia tells me you failed all four times?"
• I should stop telling Lydia the truth, I decided.
• "With a face so forgettable and aspirations so lowly, I will be surprised if anyone will ever want to marry you. You hardly have another two or three years as a courtesan before the Royals label you an old maid and shove you to the side. If you don't take advantage of your looks right now, you will be left a pauper. Don't forget that men who are interested in marrying us are only after our money."
• "I have been making a decent income for myself for the past five years, before anyone else my age did."
• "Those peanuts you make won't amount to anything. You will not attract good suitors with a job like that."
• "It gives me more reason to not be rich then, to be able to find someone who is genuinely interested in me and not my wealth."
• "No one is ever genuinely interested in anyone, and even if they are, it doesn't last for more than a few years at best. It's high time you grow some brain and become practical. And don't forget, every man wants his bride to be a virgin, and you won't be one. So why do you think anyone will marry you? Like it or not, money is everything, and you are going to need a lot of it."
• "I will try next time. Can I please get some sleep now? I feel sick."
• I did feel nauseous at the thought of attending another orgy. I wanted to please Ian, and I was willing to attend the last one because he was going to be there. Why would I want to go this time? I felt like a lovesick puppy who wanted to see him and cuddle with him.
• I don't care if my mother thinks I am not attractive because Ian thinks I am. He couldn't stop kissing me, couldn't take his hands off of me. He looked into my eyes for as long as I looked into his. I should stop thinking about him before things spiral way out of control than they already are. I have to end this fairy tale dream and become practical. Should forget about that playboy this very minute.
• I closed my eyes, trying to make up for last night's sleepless struggle, and the first thing I saw was his sexy smile before he dipped his head down to swirl his tongue around my stiff nipples. Ah! How I wanted him to do that to me again. That look of adoration in his eyes when I traced kisses on his jawline. Was I really imagining all these things while he just wanted to have sex with me?
• Oh, God! Another thirty-six hours to go before I see him again. Sleep is out of the question until he holds me in his arms again. But will he?