Chapter 65 - Interrogation

• Jane
• Explaining death to four years olds is almost as difficult as watching Ethan muddle through the next few days in a complete fog, appearing more like a zombie than the man I know so well. Every time I tell the pups that Petra is gone and won’t be coming back, the message only seems to sink in for a few hours. Soon enough they’re asking me when they’re going to see Petra again, and I have to try to explain the concept of permanence to four precious beings who simply cannot understand it.
• Still, watching Ethan is harder. We got through all the planning and preparations for a massive state funeral with great exhaustion and stress, but little emotion on his part. I keep waiting for him to break, to come out of shock and grieve the way he needs to so desperately. It hasn’t happened yet, and I merely pray that he will find the spark he needs before the funeral is over this afternoon.