Chapter 388 Life On Death Row-(Incest/Taboo Sex):>Ep3

• But for the first time, I wasn't thinking about me. I mean my son being here was a punishment for what I done. I understood that then. I recognized that I had sewed the wind and I was reaping the whirlwind. But when my boy told me about the life he couldn't even imagine...I realized that I wasn't the only one paying for what I done. I wasn't even the one paying the biggest price. I had given my son a nothing hand. He played it badly, but there wasn't no option to fold. All he could do was try his best with what I gave him. He got cleaned out.
• Guilt. I ain't never felt guilt like that before in my life. For the first time ever, I really thought about that man. The one at the convenience store who got killed. I thought about my son standing there, while his friend shot the man. I pictured myself, standing next to Tyler, seeing the closed circuit video in my head and putting myself right there. I wondered what I would have said then, to get Tyler to leave. To get him to stop this terrible thing he was doing. But I knew that I hadn't been there. I hadn't really been there. And I hadn't been in Tyler's head that day either, telling him what to do. That's a mama's job, to give her son the tools to do right and wrong. I didn't do that.
• I thought back to all the other times that I should've been there. All the times I should've been guiding my boy so that he couldn't ever end up in a place like this. I wanted so bad to go back in time then. Just like Tyler said he'd done. I wanted to yell at myself to do what was right. To give myself the things I needed to be the mama that Tyler deserved. But I couldn't do that now. It was too late. I'd shortchanged my boy his entire life. And now they were going to take it away. And it was all my fault. I was responsible for every evil that had happened that led to that moment.