Chapter 4

• 'Marriage?', I asked, shocked she was so involved with someone to contemplate it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but she was always careful, dainty. I never thought in that direction about her. Why would I? She left me.
• 'Well, sort of. I think so', she blushed.
• 'Huh? I don't get it. Either you are getting married or you are not', I questioned the fact.
• 'He hasn't proposed yet', she mumbled.
• 'Then how can you be sure he is going to', I asked astonished. Trust my Sister to plan the names of her children even before the marriage proposal.
• 'I'm 100% sure he is going to propose and soon', she exaggerated stubbornly.
• 'Whatever you say', I mumbled while eating my sandwich.
• I tried to think of something to divert our current discussion. I don't want to be the one to lift the veil from her eyes.
• 'How did you know my number?', I asked, recalling the call yesterday.
• 'Jack hired a PI', she replied.
• 'PI? As in Detective? Does this guy follow me or something? You had me followed? Wait, who is jack?’, for that matter I don't know what happened to her after she left us.
• 'My boyfriend and no I haven't done anything like that. It's just to learn your number', she said faster as if to end the discussion.
• 'When am I going to meet him?'
• 'Umm, it's just that no one knows we are seeing each other. We want to keep it a secret for a while. You know, getting to know each other, being cozy', she said wiggling her eyebrows.
• 'Ok. It's your life. If you are safe', I said not mulling over my sister’s coziness with her Boyfriend.
• I wondered what happened to her after she left us.
• 'What were you doing with yourself these 6 years? Where have you been?'
• 'I completed my degree. Got a job. Nothing much. There were ups and downs in the beginning but now I'm in a good place’, she smiled her Ray of the sunshine smile.
• It's as vague as anything she can say. Not like her, but I let it rest for now. I don't want to spoil her mood yet again. There is time for interrogation later. Chatting with her like this made me realize how much I missed her. I buried myself in anger against her all this time that I didn't realize missing our late-night chats.
• 'I missed you', I said.
• 'I missed you too', she added tearfully.
• There was a lulling silence in our conversation which helped to clear my thoughts somewhat. Though I'm not sure about my emotions. Should I be happy that I met her? Or sad that we lost 6 years? Or guilt and remorse for not trying to know what's happening here. Guilt won at the end. Thinking about the past I asked suddenly, ‘Why did she let you go? Why not stop it? It's obvious that you were a source of income for her.'
• The look of guilt intensified on her face. She looked down at her hands and said, 'she tried'.
• 'Tried? How?'
• 'She threatened me with you', she said quietly.
• 'Ya, I know. Kidnapping and all you said before'
• 'No. That was to stop me from taking you, not from me leaving'
• I thought about it for a moment and asked, ‘What did she threaten You with?'
• 'Giving you to bob', she stuttered slowly.
• I couldn't stop puking this time. I rushed to the washroom which was thankfully next to our booth and puked my guts or what was left of that sandwich. I should have left the eating after we cleared the air. Washing my hands and face I came out of the washroom and sat on my chair feeling no longer hungry.
• This explains the look of guilt she wore since the beginning of the conversation. Here I thought... I don't know what anymore.
• 'I was over my head. First, Bob and then mom started threatening me with you and I had enough. Why should I take that? Why should you remain ignorant? I couldn't do that anymore. She thought I won't leave you. I thought of staying too. But the thought of another minute in that 'situation' suffocated me', she started explaining or should I say talking about her frustrations?
• 'To leave me to my fate, knowing what will happen to me is correct?', I asked carefully, anger building inside me.
• 'Nothing happened to you', she whined. She 'Marriage?', I asked, shocked she was so involved with someone to contemplate it. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but she was always careful, dainty. I never thought in that direction about her. Why would I? She left me.
• 'Well, sort of. I think so', she blushed.
• 'Huh? I don't get it. Either you are getting married or you are not', I questioned the fact.
• 'He hasn't proposed yet', she mumbled.
• 'Then how can you be sure he is going to', I asked astonished. Trust my Sister to plan the names of her children even before the marriage proposal.
• 'I'm 100% sure he is going to propose and soon', she exaggerated stubbornly.
• 'Whatever you say', I mumbled while eating my sandwich.
• I tried to think of something to divert our current discussion. I don't want to be the one to lift the veil from her eyes.
• 'How did you know my number?', I asked, recalling the call yesterday.
• 'Jack hired a PI', she replied.
• 'PI? As in Detective? Does this guy follow me or something? You had me followed? Wait, who is jack?’, for that matter I don't know what happened to her after she left us.
• 'My boyfriend and no I haven't done anything like that. It's just to learn your number', she said faster as if to end the discussion.
• 'When am I going to meet him?'
• 'Umm, it's just that no one knows we are seeing each other. We want to keep it a secret for a while. You know, getting to know each other, being cozy', she said wiggling her eyebrows.
• 'Ok. It's your life. If you are safe', I said not mulling over my sister’s coziness with her Boyfriend.
• I wondered what happened to her after she left us.
• 'What were you doing with yourself these 6 years? Where have you been?'
• 'I completed my degree. Got a job. Nothing much. There were ups and downs in the beginning but now I'm in a good place’, she smiled her Ray of the sunshine smile.
• It's as vague as anything she can say. Not like her, but I let it rest for now. I don't want to spoil her mood yet again. There is time for interrogation later. Chatting with her like this made me realize how much I missed her. I buried myself in anger against her all this time that I didn't realize missing our late-night chats.
• 'I missed you', I said.
• 'I missed you too', she added tearfully.
• There was a lulling silence in our conversation which helped to clear my thoughts somewhat. Though I'm not sure about my emotions. Should I be happy that I met her? Or sad that we lost 6 years? Or guilt and remorse for not trying to know what's happening here. Guilt won at the end. Thinking about the past I asked suddenly, ‘Why did she let you go? Why not stop it? It's obvious that you were a source of income for her.'
• The look of guilt intensified on her face. She looked down at her hands and said, 'she tried'.
• 'Tried? How?'
• 'She threatened me with you', she said quietly.
• 'Ya, I know. Kidnapping and all you said before'
• 'No. That was to stop me from taking you, not from me leaving'
• I thought about it for a moment and asked, ‘What did she threaten You with?'
• 'Giving you to bob', she stuttered slowly.
• I couldn't stop puking this time. I rushed to the washroom which was thankfully next to our booth and puked my guts or what was left of that sandwich. I should have left the eating after we cleared the air. Washing my hands and face I came out of the washroom and sat on my chair feeling no longer hungry.
• This explains the look of guilt she wore since the beginning of the conversation. Here I thought… I don't know what anymore.
• 'I was over my head. First, Bob and then mom started threatening me with you and I had enough. Why should I take that? Why should you remain ignorant? I couldn't do that anymore. She thought I won't leave you. I thought of staying too. But the thought of another minute in that 'situation' suffocated me', she started explaining or should I say talking about her frustrations?
• 'To leave me to my fate, knowing what will happen to me is correct?', I asked carefully, anger building inside me.
• 'Nothing happened to you', she whined. She made a whining noise. I'm serious.
• 'That's because I protected myself', I shouted. I looked around us to see no one heard. It's like taking one step forward only to drag two steps back. We were making progress only to start where it began, her feeling guilty and me angry at her.
• We sat there staring at each other, each of us lost in our thoughts. I tried to control my anger. God knows nothing comes out of it when I lose it.
• I shouldn't put blame on her, who knew what I would have done in her situation. Maybe with time, we could let go of the past. At present, it's too fresh in my mind to think. Too raw.