Chapter 151 Killian

• Four months. We've been dating for four months and it feels like four years. It's not that I'm tired or I feel like the months look like years, it's because I'm beginning to question myself. Gianna is everything ranging from pure and good. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever been with. And when I say beautiful, I just don't mean looks. She's kind, she's great. Fuck, she has a loving heart. All of that is too much for me. Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm a shitty person, but one thing I know is that I don't deserve her. I don't deserve her love, I don't deserve her at all. She should be with some guy who really deserves her. Someone who is ready to plan and start a family with her. Gianna is one of the few women who isn't dating me for my pocket. Sometimes, I buy her stuff and she complains about it being too expensive and too much. And then she says stuff like this 'I don't want anything from you, except you, Killian.'
• All of this is new and I feel like she's way ahead of me in our relationship. Like, she's making these plans that I'm not ready to make. Early last week, Anna kept talking about how she loved kids and how she wanted to give birth and start a family at an early age. I didn't know if I was scared or not, but I went to bed that night thinking if that's what I wanted. I didn't want that. At all.
• God, kids scare the shit out of me and I have a feeling I'll be a bad dad and that's because I'm too young and my focus should be my company. KB TECH is my one true love and it comes first before anyone, even Gianna.