Chapter 53

• I give him my back and go in search of my favorite coffee mug. It’s not in the cupboard, though, which means it’s in the dishwasher. I check that, too, but it hasn’t been run yet, so I go back to the cupboard and pick my second-favorite mug. It used to be my mom’s, but I stole it. It reads Mrs. Waters, but the letters are made of penises. She doesn’t know I have it, and I always keep it in the back of the cupboard, so they don’t find it when they come visit.
• I pour myself a cup of coffee, add enough sugar to cut the bitter and some cream to turn it tan, and set it on the table. Then I go back and grab two bowls, the gallon of milk that’s half-empty, and three different boxes of cereal. I don’t bother with the Lucky Charms since Lavender’s hands have been in every single freaking box. She picks out all the fucking marshmallows. It drives me up the damn wall, especially since there are several boxes of cereal marshmallows sitting on the shelf right next to them. I slide a bowl in front of BJ and keep the slightly bigger one for myself.
• Most of the time I make myself a real breakfast—eggs, bacon, whole grain toast, that kind of thing. But not today. Still, I start with the healthier cereal option. This morning I’m going with Frosted Mini-Wheats as course number one. I dump half the box into my bowl and pour milk over it, letting it sit for a minute before I dig in. Mini-Wheats are a particular favorite because they do such a good job of soaking up the milk.